donnavla
11-30-2011, 01:14 AM
This morning I lost my beloved, wonderful female cockatiel. She was 14 years old.
I write this with tears streaming down my face, cause I still can’t believe she is gone. She had been sick on and off since February of 2010 and she almost passed then but I took her to the vet and they were able to prolong her life by using a syringe to take out fluid from her abdomen. The vet said older female birds have a hard time in later years laying infertile eggs. She remained in the hospital last year for a few days and came home and we gave her medicines to help her not retain fluid. Miraculously she recovered slowly but I had to keep taking her to the vet to get the fluid out weekly. After months of doing that she remained better and the doctor said I don’t have to take her in anymore. We were ecstatic!!! Then again in the Spring of 2011 it started up again but this time they did another X-ray and they said she had a lump and she was sneezing very, very much. Doctor gave us meds to give her again and we did that for months and then one night my son in law said she looked like she had something coming out of her nose and we pulled out about a 6 inch string that was in her body! We thought that was making her sneeze so much and her tissues were growing around it. After that she was fine again!
This past Thanksgiving week she seemed like she didn’t feel good again but I wasn’t sure. I was kind of a bad mommy and missed her so much and let her stay up late a lot with me and she seemed tired a lot. Then Saturday came and she seemed better again. All the while in my head I had it in the back of my mind that she is going to the vet again soon.
What happened to her this morning I will never forgive myself. She seemed fine in waking her up and we did our normal routine of getting up in the morning and me getting ready for work. Then she started sneezing again and just like those other times, she sneezed and then settled down. Work was going to be hectic and I knew I had to go soon, BUT I did not stay with her. I usually am QUICK to take her to the vet because I know how delicate birds are when they are sick and if you wait too long, it is too late. She settled down a bit I made her comfortable and I left for work knowing in the back of my mind I would take her tonight to the vet and I would have my adult daughter check on her when I got to work. Like every young adult that graduated college and cant find a job she slept in and didn’t check her until I texted her the second time. (I always text her to check on her during the day). She called me right away crying and said she passed away.
I was crying all day at work and I feel so guilty that I did not stay with her so if she passed it would be in my arms. Instead I put her in the cage to settle down like she has done before and take her to the vet in the evening when I get home from work. I was terrible today and not staying with her, not taking her to the doctor right away then and there… she seemed different sneezing and seemed weak and loosing her balance – all this in a matter of 5 minutes before I had to leave for work. I know I was not a bad cockatiel owner (I spent almost $2,000 on her last year) but I am feeling so guilty. I should have stayed and held her in my arms. I loved her so and for many years she has been my gentle companion. She only let me kiss her, hug her and snuggle with her, no one else. My daughters got to snuggle but no kisses. She didn’t allow it. Whenever Cici was sick I was histerical and cried and cried. Today, for some reason and I know how delicate a bird is when they are sick I was drawn to leave – I don’t know why. This has happened many times before and I took her to the vet later in the evening. I thought she would be fine again but she wasn’t. My daughter also was not expecting to see her like that!
I am heartbroken and distraught I can’t even imagine life without my little friend now. She was the kindest, sweetest and most precious thing to me in the world and since she was sick last year, I even took her to my boyfriend’s house where I also had a cage and a little carrier for the car. She started getting used to car rides cause of all the doctor visits. As long as she heard my voice, she was okay. I can’t believe I was drawn away from her this morning and I didn’t stay with her. So much going on in my head this morning – can she wait until I get home? Will she be alright? This has happened so many times before…. Also, I didn’t have the money this year for the doctor visits but I did have credit cards. I also thought before in the Spring if this happens again I will let God decide if he wants her….
I have a hole in my heart that I have lost her but also a hole in my heart thinking I could have saved her again. This little birdy had many lives, she also once flew out the balcony when my husband was caring for her and I didn’t get her until the next day. I had heard from a cockatiel forum that birds do stay around where they were let loose and I went out the next day (and there was a huge thunderstorm) and tweeted to her in a familiar way and she responded to me!!!! Then it took 5 hours to retrieve her - running across streets without looking for cars coming trying to follow her in the sky to fly from tree to tree. I looked up at her in the trees and told her to come down but back then she was young maybe only had her two years and she didn’t do that yet. Then after thinking I lost her for good, I tweeted again and heard her and went in between a house that had a huge tree with roots coming out of the ground and it was like she was thinking I can’t get her up high, so maybe she will stay lower to the ground. I saw her and snatched her in my arms and brought her home!!!! Then my love continued to stay with me for many years after that.
I would do anything to relive this day to have her with me again. I wish all you cockatiel owners to cherish your precious time with your companions and don’t ever dismiss the slightest thought that they may not feel good. It can be too late if you do. Thank you for reading my Memorial to my Beloved and my apology to her of which I will apologize to her for the rest of my life and hold her in my heart always.
I am sorry my little friend. I love you
Donna
I write this with tears streaming down my face, cause I still can’t believe she is gone. She had been sick on and off since February of 2010 and she almost passed then but I took her to the vet and they were able to prolong her life by using a syringe to take out fluid from her abdomen. The vet said older female birds have a hard time in later years laying infertile eggs. She remained in the hospital last year for a few days and came home and we gave her medicines to help her not retain fluid. Miraculously she recovered slowly but I had to keep taking her to the vet to get the fluid out weekly. After months of doing that she remained better and the doctor said I don’t have to take her in anymore. We were ecstatic!!! Then again in the Spring of 2011 it started up again but this time they did another X-ray and they said she had a lump and she was sneezing very, very much. Doctor gave us meds to give her again and we did that for months and then one night my son in law said she looked like she had something coming out of her nose and we pulled out about a 6 inch string that was in her body! We thought that was making her sneeze so much and her tissues were growing around it. After that she was fine again!
This past Thanksgiving week she seemed like she didn’t feel good again but I wasn’t sure. I was kind of a bad mommy and missed her so much and let her stay up late a lot with me and she seemed tired a lot. Then Saturday came and she seemed better again. All the while in my head I had it in the back of my mind that she is going to the vet again soon.
What happened to her this morning I will never forgive myself. She seemed fine in waking her up and we did our normal routine of getting up in the morning and me getting ready for work. Then she started sneezing again and just like those other times, she sneezed and then settled down. Work was going to be hectic and I knew I had to go soon, BUT I did not stay with her. I usually am QUICK to take her to the vet because I know how delicate birds are when they are sick and if you wait too long, it is too late. She settled down a bit I made her comfortable and I left for work knowing in the back of my mind I would take her tonight to the vet and I would have my adult daughter check on her when I got to work. Like every young adult that graduated college and cant find a job she slept in and didn’t check her until I texted her the second time. (I always text her to check on her during the day). She called me right away crying and said she passed away.
I was crying all day at work and I feel so guilty that I did not stay with her so if she passed it would be in my arms. Instead I put her in the cage to settle down like she has done before and take her to the vet in the evening when I get home from work. I was terrible today and not staying with her, not taking her to the doctor right away then and there… she seemed different sneezing and seemed weak and loosing her balance – all this in a matter of 5 minutes before I had to leave for work. I know I was not a bad cockatiel owner (I spent almost $2,000 on her last year) but I am feeling so guilty. I should have stayed and held her in my arms. I loved her so and for many years she has been my gentle companion. She only let me kiss her, hug her and snuggle with her, no one else. My daughters got to snuggle but no kisses. She didn’t allow it. Whenever Cici was sick I was histerical and cried and cried. Today, for some reason and I know how delicate a bird is when they are sick I was drawn to leave – I don’t know why. This has happened many times before and I took her to the vet later in the evening. I thought she would be fine again but she wasn’t. My daughter also was not expecting to see her like that!
I am heartbroken and distraught I can’t even imagine life without my little friend now. She was the kindest, sweetest and most precious thing to me in the world and since she was sick last year, I even took her to my boyfriend’s house where I also had a cage and a little carrier for the car. She started getting used to car rides cause of all the doctor visits. As long as she heard my voice, she was okay. I can’t believe I was drawn away from her this morning and I didn’t stay with her. So much going on in my head this morning – can she wait until I get home? Will she be alright? This has happened so many times before…. Also, I didn’t have the money this year for the doctor visits but I did have credit cards. I also thought before in the Spring if this happens again I will let God decide if he wants her….
I have a hole in my heart that I have lost her but also a hole in my heart thinking I could have saved her again. This little birdy had many lives, she also once flew out the balcony when my husband was caring for her and I didn’t get her until the next day. I had heard from a cockatiel forum that birds do stay around where they were let loose and I went out the next day (and there was a huge thunderstorm) and tweeted to her in a familiar way and she responded to me!!!! Then it took 5 hours to retrieve her - running across streets without looking for cars coming trying to follow her in the sky to fly from tree to tree. I looked up at her in the trees and told her to come down but back then she was young maybe only had her two years and she didn’t do that yet. Then after thinking I lost her for good, I tweeted again and heard her and went in between a house that had a huge tree with roots coming out of the ground and it was like she was thinking I can’t get her up high, so maybe she will stay lower to the ground. I saw her and snatched her in my arms and brought her home!!!! Then my love continued to stay with me for many years after that.
I would do anything to relive this day to have her with me again. I wish all you cockatiel owners to cherish your precious time with your companions and don’t ever dismiss the slightest thought that they may not feel good. It can be too late if you do. Thank you for reading my Memorial to my Beloved and my apology to her of which I will apologize to her for the rest of my life and hold her in my heart always.
I am sorry my little friend. I love you
Donna