# Will they ever like each other?



## Joyful (Jun 26, 2013)

Quarantine time is over for Fable and Lore now. Fable is my 1 1/2 year old female cinnamon who I have had for only a couple months and Lore is my 5 year old whiteface male who I have had for just over a month. I was not able to do a proper quarantine with them because I live in a small apartment with no way to keep their cages separate. So they have been on opposite sides of the room with strict no contact. About a week ago I started letting them out together. It has not gone as smoothly as I would have liked. Fable is generally curious about him but Lore seems turned off by her and will chase her away. They have not had any big fights because Fable will always retreat and fly away. I've tried doing clicker training with them both in the same space, using a target. Lore quickly lost interest in the millet and just got irritated at Fable. They will peacefully sit on opposite ends of their play tree and I have had them in the shower together. But in other interactions they just don't get along. Fable now is completely avoiding him and Lore is getting aggressive towards me and my siblings now. What should I do? I thought of trimming Lore's wings, which I hate to do. But him flying around makes this way more difficult. Lore just seems mad all the time now. And my sweet Fable is becoming very clingy to me. I need help.










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## Anna-marie (Jul 30, 2013)

they maybe just need a little time and space.
I'm lucky as Sheldon (my 2nd bird) loves Amy (my 1st) but she couldn't careless about him so just moves away. I had them like you in different cages other end of room then after few weeks put the cages next to each other after that i let them out together, few more weeks later they started going into each others cage with no fights or up set so i eventually tried them in same cage. It took months but now they will eat and sit on same perch together. Amy will still move away if he gets too close though. we've just added Penny into the mix and so far things are going great. Im sure someone will be along soon to offer you some more advice but for know i would just say take your time


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## Stevolteon (Aug 31, 2013)

We're in almost exactly the same situation - Nyra (the newcomer) seems interested but Nigel just keeps acting aggressive and chasing her off. Now she's starting to get a little aggressive back... seems like a vicious cycle. I hope they come to terms with each other, and will watch your case eagerly as well!

I've been wondering if the problem is Nigel feeling his territory is being invaded and wondered about letting them out in neutral ground. Will let you know how it goes if we manage it!


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

It's possible that they will never learn to like each other. When one bird has been the only bird for a long time, he tends to resent newcomers.

There are a couple of things that you can do to try and reduce Lore's jealousy. When you interact with the birds, always pay attention to him first, give him treats first, etc. He's been the top bird for a long time and this reassures him that he isn't losing out to the competition. Fable isn't as well established and won't mind.

You can also try using hormone reduction techniques on him. We don't know whether he's actually hormonal at the moment, but if he is then this will physically help reduce hormones that contribute to aggressive behavior. http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=32330

Over time they WILL develop a flock bond with each other and won't want to be too far apart from each other. But they won't necessarily want to be close together either. See the two birds arguing in the middle of the top half of my signature? That's Vlad and the late great Geezer. They were together for 7 years and never liked each other very much, but they would follow each other around the room to some extent. If I took one out of the room the other would flock call.


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## Joyful (Jun 26, 2013)

Thanks everyone. I will keep everyone posted. I do think Lore may be a little hormonal. So doing the reduction may help. I really do hope they start to get along. I waited a long time to have cockatiels again. This is he first time I have had two at once. I got Lore to keep Fable company because she was starting to flock call whenever I left the room. Now I have two birds that don't like each other and Lore flock calls worse than Fable! Well... Louder, not more. I love them both very much, but I am not making that bond with Lore because he always seems mad. 


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## Joyful (Jun 26, 2013)

Ok, I just read the hormone reduction article. Fable doesn't act hormonal so I don't feel like I need to do much for her. But Lore definitely needs it. Here is my problem. I am not sure how I can practically give Lore 12 hours of darkness. I live in a small apartment. There are three people living here. I can keep him covered, but he will know we are awake and moving around and will call out. Couldn't this make things worse?


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## Joyful (Jun 26, 2013)

So things are starting to get a little better. Lore is generally being less aggressive towards Fable and she seems less afraid of him. I can have one on each shoulder without much problem. But they are both getting jealous of each other. If I am scritching one the other bites me. And Lore bites hard. 

This leads to my second question/problem. When Lore bites me hard I usually shoe him away and he flies off. I wait a few minutes and then go see if he wants to be nice again. I don't really know if this is the best thing to do. It is more of a reaction thing. Should I approach it differently? Sometimes he bites my face and that is not ok in my book. 


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## Leviathan (Sep 19, 2013)

It may take some time, I remember when I first got Phoenix; my female; Pepe didn't like at all and he was aggressive towards her. But after a few months he accepted and calls for her when he cannot see her.

I think just give them some time, and supervise them.

I think you should approach it differently, they are really sensitive little animals, when my birds bite me, I tell them its wrong and I put them on their cages and wait for them to come to me when they feel like it.


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## Joyful (Jun 26, 2013)

Ok, today it took a turn for the worse. I don't know what to do. This morning I tried a clicker training activity with them. Both birds were acting calm so I gave it a try. I had them both on the table and a would click and feed Lore every time he would look at Fable or sit calmly when she was close by. Fable loves millet so she is happy to do anything when it is out. So I would click and treat her for just being her cute self around Lore. It went great for a while. I made sure they were getting equally rewarded so there was no competition. Then Fable came a limit too close. Lore bite at her and then flew away. 

When I went to go get him he was very aggressive. He likes to fly up onto the ceiling fan ( it is never turned on) and he is really hard to get down because he gets really aggressive. I went really calmly, but he still got very aggravated. He fly back and forth from the fan to the cage before I was finally able to catch him. I put him back in his cage to calm down. After a little while I got him back out again. 

I was just sitting on the couch with him on my knee and Fable on my arm. This is normal for us. Lore didn't seem to mind. Then suddenly he leaped at Fable and full on attacked her! She screamed and started flying wildly around the room. I was so scared she was going to hurt herself. Lore fly back to the fan. Fable settled on her cage. 

I went to get Lore and he started to fly back and forth again. Then he flew right at Fable and attacked her again! Sending her into another frenzy. I finally got him back into his cage and covered him up. Fable is traumatized in her cage. And I want to cry. 

What do I do? I love them both so much. I got two birds so that they could be friends and keep each other company during the day while I am gone. All this seems to have done is stress them both out. I refuse to get rid of Lore just because he has a behavior issue. I need to work this out Please help!


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## Stevolteon (Aug 31, 2013)

We had virtually the same situation just yesterday with Nyra and Nigel. It seemed to be going really well, Nigel was happily eating his seeds even though Nyra was pretty close. Usually he'd flatten his feathers, watch her and hiss, but he was just behaving like normal. Then suddenly he lunged at her and started flying round the room after her, attacking her whenever she landed.

When we separated them Nigel was purely aggressive to us, and we ended up having to towel him to get him back in the cage - very unusual for Nigel these days.

Poor little Nyra was wild eyed and panting. The really sad thing is she seems interested in making a friend, but he keeps lashing out.


For the time being we're just going to have to get them out one at a time, and keep them off each others' cages. Hopefully with time they'll mellow a bit - it's only been a little over a week after all.

I wonder if moving their cages closer together would help them get used to each, they are at opposite ends of the room at the moment. How are your cages spaced out?

I wouldn't give up hope just yet. These things probably take some time. That's what we're hoping at least...


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## eduardo (Jan 27, 2012)

tielfan said:


> Over time they WILL develop a flock bond with each other and won't want to be too far apart from each other. But they won't necessarily want to be close together either. See the two birds arguing in the middle of the top half of my signature? That's Vlad and the late great Geezer. They were together for 7 years and never liked each other very much, but they would follow each other around the room to some extent. If I took one out of the room the other would flock call.


That is exactly how my Candy and Tony are.
There was a time a few months back when Tony was so hormonal, he was a total terror to poor Candy. I practiced hormone reduction technique that I learned here on the forum and it worked. He eventually calmed down and is now back to himself. But I don't think my two will ever bond with each other in the sense that a male/female couple is. They act more like just "roommates" and that's about it. They are also jealous of each other when I give them attention at the same time.


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## Joyful (Jun 26, 2013)

Their cages are in the same room but on the opposite sides of the room. I could try to put their cages next to each other. I just don't want to stress them out. 


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## Stevolteon (Aug 31, 2013)

There's been a development with our pair which might give you some hope. Nigel has had a complete reversal of behaviour and now seems to be trying to court Nyra. He follows her around her cage (him on the outside, her on the inside) doing heart wings instead of hissing!

The only problem is that after the week and a bit of him being aggressive at her has taught her he's a threat. She used to sit there and watch him or try to approach him but now she clambers along the cage away from him when he tries to get near.

Also while he is wooing her he will react to us with nothing but hostility which makes it a little difficult to get him back in his cage.

Still, I consider it a step in the right direction, and now seems like a good time to bring their cages closer. We'll let you know how it works out!


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## Joyful (Jun 26, 2013)

I have moved there cages next to each other, which seems to help some. Lore still chases her off when Fable comes near. But no more attacks so far. Lore is still being quite aggressive towards me though. Not all the time, but he gets into these moods where you just can't touch him or he will bite hard. 

I am seriously thinking of clipping his wings. He flies about so much which just aggregates the whole situation. He has claimed the ceiling fan as his own, which I don't like. It is gars to get him down and he usually bites when I try to. 

Even when he is being affectionate and wanting scritches, he will turn and bite. If I am feeding treats he will bite. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I an gentle with my birds. I treat him no different the Fable, yet he feels the need to be defensive towards me. I don't shoe him away anymore when bites, but then he will start to bite even harder. Most of the time now he just sits away from me, like he doesn't even like me. He wasn't like that when I first got him. He used to want to be with me. 

I am really frustrated. 


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## scootergirl762 (Aug 27, 2013)

Joyful said:


> I have moved there cages next to each other, which seems to help some. Lore still chases her off when Fable comes near. But no more attacks so far. Lore is still being quite aggressive towards me though. Not all the time, but he gets into these moods where you just can't touch him or he will bite hard.
> 
> I am seriously thinking of clipping his wings. He flies about so much which just aggregates the whole situation. He has claimed the ceiling fan as his own, which I don't like. It is gars to get him down and he usually bites when I try to.
> 
> ...


I can understand your frustration, I'm so sorry. Maybe clipping his wings will help - it will keep him from flying to a higher perch, and maybe when he can't do that, he won't be so dominant? His feathers will grow back, by which time you might have made some progress with him. And perhaps spending time with each separately might help.


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## Joyful (Jun 26, 2013)

I have started spending time separately, which is good for Fable too because he stresses her out. He doesn't seem to care. When u get him out he just wants to do his own thing. I will keep at it though. 


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## Stevolteon (Aug 31, 2013)

Before you do anything drastic I'd give him some time to adjust.

This is almost exactly what happened with Nigel. When he became interested in Nyra he became very aggressive toward us. Now, a week and a half down the line, he's starting to adjust to the new situation and is behaving more normally towards us.

It can be a pain getting him off Nyra's cage still, but he no longer lunges and bites like he did at first.

Just keep your distance, but keep appealing to him. Let him come to you and make sure it's rewarding when he does. Nigel only got aggressive when we approached him, but when we gave him space he started coming to us again.

I know it can be tough, but if you'd rather not clip his wings it's probably worth giving them a little longer.


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