# How to bond with my bird...



## minischn (Jun 5, 2011)

I've had Petey for about six months now and I've just been feeling a bit helpless with him lately. Like, we got a few steps closer to having a relationship, like he'll let me pick him up and will get mad if we ignore him, but it's like... lukewarm.

Today, for instance, I just finished my last exam and had gotten a bunch of stuff for his new bigger cage because it was bitterly bare. He was nervous at the one new toy and stayed away from it but he never wanted to hang out. I got him out to spend some time together and he flew off down to the tv stand, where there is glass where he can see himself. He loves his reflection. I mean, I've done movie marathons and he's spent the entire time napping beside himself. I spent hours trying to hang out with him, but he ignored me and flew away to either his cage or the glass so I decided not to push it but it kinda broke my heart. 

So I came on here to browse the new threads and everything else and I'm not gonna lie I got jealous. Especially as I started searching for threads on "bonding". I just want to note, I wouldn't give up Petey for the world, but it just seems like he honestly could care less about me. His only social interaction requirement is to have someone look at him periodically, maybe talk to him. I want a relationship like so many of you have with your bird, but I'm starting to wonder if it'll ever happen.

Back when I first got him I did a bunch of training. He's target trained, and shakes his head "no" on command.... when he's in his cage. I hit this roadblock and kept trying and trying but can't seem to overcome it. Then he started coming out to play more and I turned to desensitizing him to the living room and back room so he won't panic when something surprises him and he takes off. And then school started and training because an every other weekend thing while I worked and had school. I still spent a lot of time with him, just more "hanging out" rather than training. 

Now the only time he wants to hang out with me is if I let him nibble my necklace, which I wouldn't mind if I wasn't so paranoid about metal poisoning. It's a birthday necklace and isn't like gold or silver so I don't trust letting him do that. So he flies off and ignores me again...

When I originally got him from another girl, she thought he'd never be a bird who wanted to be pet or anything (and I dealt with that) but he just needed some work to fit in and he would probably like to hang out with the family, but I'm doubting this right now.

To put my bias into perspective, I've been having a bad week. Really lonely and just overall emotional (thank you teenage hormones and drama), so I might just be overreacting. 

Any ideas for bonding exercises, training methods, ANYTHING to build a relationship with him? I want to avoid cutting his wings, because he's such a beautiful flier, if possible. I mean, I managed the taming with him fully flighted, and thats probably the hardest part. 

P.S I tried doing a search and well... " bonding " has mixed threads with breeding and human-bird bonding, with a lot of "new bird" bonding, while "taming" pretty much ensures everything I've already done or more "new bird" bonding, which we've passed. If you guys have written threads on your own experiences, please tell me a few key words and I'll hunt it down, save you some writing. 

I'm desperate....


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## DyArianna (Aug 7, 2011)

Well hon.. couple your teenage hormones with the defiance of a toddler.  Sure he's probably been a bit upset with the change of attention.. but after a bit of patience and reassurance.. it will come back. Being a teenager is hard enough as it is.. it's a lot to remember that there's someone else that would love to have your attention too. 

Don't give up.. start back at square one.. show him you are still there for him. Talk to him constantly.. move back over the basic training techniques. If you just remember to view him as basically a toddler, it will help out tremendously. 

They also feed off your emotions. So if you have been having a hard time lately, he might not be sure how to act around you. Take a breath... leave your problems at the door.. and enjoy your sweetie. 

Also, another thought.. you don't say how old he is... it is possibly he is hormonal as well. Make sure he's getting a good night of being covered.. 12 to 14 hours or so. This might help with his mood swings too.


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## minischn (Jun 5, 2011)

Yeah I've been trying to make sure he gets a good nights sleep. And sorry, I'm not positive actually on his age. The girl I got him from says he's about three. But he has been known to get hormonal in front of mirrors. I try to limit t, but with all the windows and reflective surfaces its pretty much impossible to keep him from them all. Thanks though. I appreciate it. I needed to hear that


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## DyArianna (Aug 7, 2011)

Good luck and keep us posted..


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## minischn (Jun 5, 2011)

I will  My day has been slightly brightened because my math teacher just told me either what I got on the exam or my final mark... and I'm liking the 97.5


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## DyArianna (Aug 7, 2011)

Heyy! Good job!


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## orchid221 (Jan 31, 2012)

Yea, I would just start spending a little more time with him, as if you first got him. Do you ever offer him treats? You could try that for accomplishments or just simply to bond with you.

I know you don't want to clip his wings and that is totally up to you. Especially if you trained him in flight. But if it was me I might try that so he's more dependant on me. But that may not be your choice. I never clipped my pet bird's wings once I got them but they ended up flying all over the room and only went back to their cage when they were tired or hungary. It seems like once their wings grew out they felt free, free from me.


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## minischn (Jun 5, 2011)

Yeah. Lately I've been giving him the seed portion of his diet in a closed room with me. I don't try to push anything as he still dislikes hands. Its a new thing before bed. He loves his seeds so I can't offer them with pellets or nutriberries or **** just pick out the seeds. Otherwise he usually gets millet for foraging and training. I'm gonna get back into training and see what happens


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## minischn (Jun 5, 2011)

Day one update: Petey is back to training. Our session today only lasted a little over ten minutes because he discovered yet another reflective surface but he's understanding that training doesn't just happen in the one cage or in any cage. **** be going to bed soon, but I shut him in a room with me to chill and watch some tv. He's currently munching on some seeds. But I think he now understands that I am willing to respect his dislike of hands if he doesn't ignore me. So far so good... I think


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## CassiaWindSong (Feb 3, 2012)

Funny you talk about dislike of hands, my little one (who I got off a close bird-fanatic friend of mine and helped to finish hand rearing so i know he has a great past) disliks hands too!! He LOVES scratches...but only when he wants them. If you put your hands near him when he snt in the mood he will hiss and bite out (although never actually bites) Or he will follow me around the house to be with me, but if he is on my shoulder and i lift my hand to even scratch my nose he will flair, open beaked and hiss at it!! But then two seconds later he dips his head and nuzzels up fos scratches...
Im forever confused at this behaviour!!!


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## minischn (Jun 5, 2011)

Yes, some seem to have the right to change their mind. When I'm hanging with Petey **** his and do the fake out bite if I brush my hair out of my face or make any move with my hand toward him.


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