# My cockatiel wont let me leave the room!



## garynmonica (Mar 28, 2013)

Hi, I have a 3 month old whiteface who was handfed and is super sweet and lovey. His name is "Frisbee" and although we assume he is a boy we really have no idea! He seemed to bond with me and my 14 year old son almost instantly. He is super clingy and screams for a few minutes after he has to go back in his cage but he eventually calms down. I have him out of his cage several hours a day and I would let him stay out even more except that if I have to leave the room to do anything he starts chirping very loudly and tries to fly to me, but his wings are clipped so he has no flight whatsoever. He gets hysterical and ends up a screaming flopping mess until he gets back to me. I try calling back to him to let him know that I am ok and nearby but it does not help. It scares me because it doesn't matter if he is up on the couch or otherwise off the ground he just leaps off trying to get to me and I am afraid he will hurt himself. His tail feathers have all been broken off and only two are left that just dangle  I also have to have his cage in our spare bedroom because he gets just as upset if he can see me and has to be in his cage so to keep my baby from breaking his neck trying to get out to be on me, I put him in his cage and have to shut the door. After about 30 seconds he gets quiet and I dont hear him flopping around or anything. Granted that we have only had him about 2 weeks I am hoping he will calm down eventually so I can leave the room if I have to? I make sure he gets at least 12 hours of quiet sleep every night. He just wants to be on me or my son all the time, which I LOVE, but I do have to cook for my family or take trash outside etc and I cant do anything that involves leaving him in another area even if on his play gym without him getting that upset... Should I be training him to curb his separation anxiety or will he get better in time? Any advice would be so appreciated!


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## urbandecayno5 (Oct 24, 2012)

My tiel will call for me alot when I leave the room. My dad always tells me "your being paged" when i ignore it:lol:

I don't have much advice. mine hasn't tried to fly on me when im leaving(although i always worry she will try one day). Im sure someone with more experience can help


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## garynmonica (Mar 28, 2013)

Thanks for replying! I'm sure this has been discussed before but I haven't found it yet! I just keep trying the "calling back" to him, maybe eventually he will learn that he is ok by himself!


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## eduardo (Jan 27, 2012)

This seems like a common problem among cockatiels that strongly bond with their humans. When I first got my Candy (she was six months old then) she loved our company from day one. She didn't like being away from me for one minute. In the beginning, I thought, oh gosh, what have I gotten myself into?? LOL. Then I decided to get her a friend. That is how I got Tony. He was only three or four months old when I got him.
Well, needless to say, now I have two clingers, LOL.
I let them perch on me a lot, they get carried around a lot, their cage is open all day, they follow me around the apartment all the time. But with time, they have also learned that I am not always going to be with them and I will not always respond to their flock calling. So, they have learned to entertain themselves without me. Although, I have to say, Candy is worse than Tony, LOL she is momma's girl.
I don't know if two cockatiels are a bit easier maybe? They keep each other company while I am gone, tiels are flock creatures so solitude is not something they enjoy.


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## mikec2003 (May 28, 2011)

My Clyde is a huge Daddy's girl...she loves being with me at all times, It took some time, but now, when I have to put her in her room she cries for a few minutes, but soon settles and plays with her toys. It just takes time, and the willingness to put up with the crying. It's sad to hear them so, sad, but it's for their own good


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## garynmonica (Mar 28, 2013)

Thanks for the replies and for making me feel so welcome here! I think it bothers me because I'm afraid he will get hurt, I can deal with the screaming and calling, but he wont stay put! He immediately starts hunting me down and will wander through the house until he gets to me and climbs up my leg all the way to my shoulder. This is dangerous if I'm cooking or something so I have to just banish him to his cage and I feel like an evil step mother lol! But I love him to pieces! He always makes me smile


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## urbandecayno5 (Oct 24, 2012)

You can try giving him a treat or toy or something to occupy him. Like a special toy just for when you leave the room. So its not a negative thing( just make sure you do it when he's not freaking out so you don't enforce the behavior)


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

I agree with the above comment.

Also..."separation anxiety" is 100% normal for birds. They are hard-wired to be flock animals, and their instinct is to stay with the flockmates. If you could hear my tiels when they get separated...ooooh boy, endless shrieking until they can all see each other again.

You can try calling back to him when you leave the room, or you can try ignoring him, and hope it gets better. But really, you can't blame him for being that way, and it may be very hard to get him to accept being left alone, especially in a spare bedroom. It's so unnatural for a parrot.

I had this same problem with Juju, my first tiel, when I got him. He would call and call every time I left the room, or fly to my head to stop me before I even got the chance. And he was in the bedroom, to protect him from the cats. I finally realized I didn't want him to have to live that way, and got another cockatiel. It helped IMMENSELY. He (all of my birds actually) will still call for me when I leave the room, or when I first get home from work, but it doesn't last too long. I am an important part of their flock, but I am not their entire world anymore. I think this is much more fair to them.

Not saying you can't have a single tiel, just sharing my experience and observations. I'm also not saying that two tiels will automatically be BFFs, but just having another flockmate around (even if they're not caged together) seems to be a huge comfort to the particularly needy ones.

By the way, Frisbee is GORGEOUS!


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## wandalee (Feb 17, 2013)

My fella has just started doing this in the last few days.. I got him 7 weeks ago at 10 weeks old. He now jumps on my finger when I put my hand in the cage, then jumps on my shoulder. I put him on my dining table with treats and toys and if I leave the room, he calls out for me till I come back. This is very cute and all, but I do worry about him getting too attached! He doesn't call for me when he's in his cage, just when he's out. 

I hope yours settles down, he sounds like he has terrible separation anxiety, the poor thing.


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## Charlie's Mom (Jan 16, 2013)

I don't know if anyone said this already but I was told to keep talking to my boy when I leave the room. To comfort him andl et him know I am still there. So if I am in the kitchen I just say "I am here boy I'll be right there" or something since they do not understand.

Also if I may take a guess, you have a boy there. It is said that only the males are very vocal and loud where the females tend to be more quite.
Boys tend to talk more, but it not impossible for the female to say a few wrods. My boy is so talkative and loud sometimes I have to leave the room. But of course he gets worse when I leave so it is a no win, lol. :grey tiel: :grey tiel:


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## flippityjib (Dec 13, 2012)

I think Charlies Mom might be on to something here!! I am having a very similar issue with Kona flying to me as I leave the bird room. I have started saying "stay....stay...." as I leave and for some reason this is working. And I whistle to him when I'm not in the room. 

We have a dog and that is why mine have to be in their own safe room.

My dog is pretty old so when he goes the birds will come out to live in the main part of the house with us.

It's a great feeling having them want too be with us but it's not always safe.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2


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## garynmonica (Mar 28, 2013)

Well surprisingly Frizzy (thats what I usually call him!) did several things today that he never did before! We had him out all morning so I put him in his cage to eat and nap, about an hour later while I was folding laundry I heard him chirping and singing happily and could hear him jingling his toys playing with them! Other than his flock call when I leave the room this is the first time Ive heard him sing and chirp! I nearly cried because I just thought it sounded so beautiful! Then when he was back out in our living room with us I moved his homemade play gym in front of the glass storm door and he actually sat and looked outside then started playing, he stayed on his gym for about 30 minutes and I was a whole 10 feet away LOL!! He has started getting bolder today and kind of exploring things. I just had to share those silly surprises with everyone and I wanted to thank everyone for replying!


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## flippityjib (Dec 13, 2012)

That's great! Yay! Little victories right? 

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2


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## Scribbles (Jun 28, 2012)

Monte was a lot like that when he was younger, but he isn't anymore. He sure loves to talk a lot. And he always like to have some quiet time in the afternoon.


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## thatcockatielpikachu (Feb 19, 2021)

Just ignore the screaming and only give your bird attention when he is quiet. Walk out of the room and don't come back until your bird stops screaming. Reward and praise your bird for good behavior like playing with toys or making pleasant sounds like chirping, talking, or whistling. Lower your energy level.


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## tahlz95 (11 mo ago)

garynmonica said:


> Hi, I have a 3 month old whiteface who was handfed and is super sweet and lovey. His name is "Frisbee" and although we assume he is a boy we really have no idea! He seemed to bond with me and my 14 year old son almost instantly. He is super clingy and screams for a few minutes after he has to go back in his cage but he eventually calms down. I have him out of his cage several hours a day and I would let him stay out even more except that if I have to leave the room to do anything he starts chirping very loudly and tries to fly to me, but his wings are clipped so he has no flight whatsoever. He gets hysterical and ends up a screaming flopping mess until he gets back to me. I try calling back to him to let him know that I am ok and nearby but it does not help. It scares me because it doesn't matter if he is up on the couch or otherwise off the ground he just leaps off trying to get to me and I am afraid he will hurt himself. His tail feathers have all been broken off and only two are left that just dangle  I also have to have his cage in our spare bedroom because he gets just as upset if he can see me and has to be in his cage so to keep my baby from breaking his neck trying to get out to be on me, I put him in his cage and have to shut the door. After about 30 seconds he gets quiet and I dont hear him flopping around or anything. Granted that we have only had him about 2 weeks I am hoping he will calm down eventually so I can leave the room if I have to? I make sure he gets at least 12 hours of quiet sleep every night. He just wants to be on me or my son all the time, which I LOVE, but I do have to cook for my family or take trash outside etc and I cant do anything that involves leaving him in another area even if on his play gym without him getting that upset... Should I be training him to curb his separation anxiety or will he get better in time? Any advice would be so appreciated!


I'm having the same issue with my cockatiel, Cass. Except I've had him close to 2 years now. He never use to be loud and obnoxious, I fear he has separation anxiety because he's the exact same when he can't see me or when I'm not in the same room as him. His wings grew a while back so he was able to fly to me for a while until I noticed he can't actually fly straight like a normal bird (he flies backwards or sideways half the time), so I clipped his wings again. 
He doesn't listen to me when I tell him to stop, he literally chirps back at me like he's backchatting.


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## Cassandra Leigh (Aug 18, 2021)

You should consider allowing him to regain his flight ability so he feels more secure and independent.

He probably feels unsafe when left alone as he can not remove himself from any potential danger.


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## HarryT (11 mo ago)

I was reading the above and thinking about getting a second but the post about now having 2 clingers has me nervous about doing that, lol. My (teen) daughter's cockatiel is so clingy that he annoys me most of the time (but I'm still nice to him). He only goes in his cage at night to sleep. The rest of the day he's free to roam the house. Apparently I am his flock. My job went remote permanently. So now he hangs out on my chair all day - I leave the room, he leaves. I take a shower he's in the shower or if I lock him out he screams the entire time from the other side of the door. 75% of the time if a person or dog get "too" close to me he flies in their face, flapping and biting. I'm outside... he's on that side of the house pacing back and forth along the window calling (we can hear him while outside). Occasionally he'll go to my daughter and want to be scratched on the head or hang with her but its only for a few minutes and I have to be in the room. If I put him in his cage, which is 5' from me and large, he screams non stop until I let him out (I cave after a few minutes b/c I can't take the noise, esp if I'm working). If this isn't bad enough... 2 yrs later he is now "chewing" on everything. He has toys, including wooden ones, etc. in his cage and in play areas but he seems to prefer anything wooden not designated for him (tops of all doors, molding around windows, top of kitchen cabinets, shelves). Basically destroying anything wooden. Now I'm trying how to get him to stop chewing on the house and break, or at least loosen, his bond to me..


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## tahlz95 (11 mo ago)

Cassandra Leigh said:


> You should consider allowing him to regain his flight ability so he feels more secure and independent.
> 
> He probably feels unsafe when left alone as he can not remove himself from any potential danger.


His wings were clipped when I got him younger, and he was never this obnoxious and loud. He loves running around on the floor like he did before he started flying.
I only trim his wings cause he can’t fly straight, he’s like a loose cannon flying all over the place. He’s flown sideways and backwards instead of forwards. 🤦🏻‍♀️😅


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## Cassandra Leigh (Aug 18, 2021)

Maybe just let him learn to fly. My tiel is a bit unco because I am in an apartment. His wings used to brush the walls when I first got him but he soon got the hang of it.


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