# Please Help, I can't bond with my new bird!



## DementedMom (Sep 26, 2008)

First off, I am so glad I found this site! I have already learned so much here, but so far nothing has helped with my new bird.
I have two Cockatiels that I have "adopted" because they both were in need of new homes. My first was (Vin) Diesel, who I adopted a little over a year ago, he is now about seven years old, Diesel came from a loveing home, but his "First Mom" had to move out of state for a job and could not take him with her, they knew what an animal lover I am, (4 dogs, 6 fish) and asked if I would be interested, after a little research I agreed, and Diesel has been a joy in my little zoo...lol Diesel and I bonded pretty quickly, and he was trained to step up when he came to live with us, he will sit on my shoulder while I am at the computer, and I can pet and love him. Now comes Malakia, I got him about 2 months ago, I work with the previous owners mother, she knew I already had Diesel and asked if I would like another bird as her son needed to find a home for it, they hadn't had the little guy long I was told, he didn't even have a name, I am guessing he's around a year old (came from a Petco) When I went to pick him up, his cage was very dirty, and he was in an open area with several very small children running around, the lady I work with didn't know much about him, (but knew he would have a good home with me)
Malakia is healthy, eats well, plays with his toys, he sings and whistles, and has no problem with Diesel being in his cage (for play dates) but that's where the happiness ends, I can not even put my hand in his cage with out him going crazy, no hand feeding or coming any where near him, I wont even try to (attempt) catch him in a towel, I am so afraid he will injure himself trying to get away from me. I don't even want to think about what he must have been through before I got him, but I have no clue how to bond with him, and make him feel safe and loved. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can go about bonding with this little guy???? I am at my wits end!


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## sweetrsue (Jul 8, 2008)

Don't even consider using a towell. The whole point is building trust. That would do just the opposite. Try not to demand anything from the bird. Just be with him in a quiet setting. Talk to him in a soft soothing voice. Like you would a baby. Clipped wings would help but if you are the one who does it...there goes the trust.


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## allen (Aug 25, 2007)

it is much easier to work with a bird that has been clipped never ever use a towel it is a threat to them


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

Give him plenty of opportunities to see you interacting with Diesel too. It's very helpful to have another bird setting a good example.

Here's a technique that's said to work well with excessively frightened birds. Figure out how close you can come to him in order to make him look a little nervous without completely freaking out. Stop at that point and wait for him to relax, then calmly turn and walk away. After you've done this a few times he figures out that relaxing makes you go away, and he starts relaxing more in your presence. The more he relaxes, the closer you can come, and the less scared he becomes of you.


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## DementedMom (Sep 26, 2008)

Thanks so much for all the input, I will take it very slow, and try your sugestion. I will post any progress.


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## Sophia (Aug 11, 2007)

Good Luck!


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## Guest (Nov 14, 2008)

I had 11 year old Joey come and live with me a year ago. I was terrified that he would never bond with me. All the people here helped me stay calm and patient with Joey. It took months for us to be so close - but each and every day is worth it.

One thing that will help is to make sure you spend time with your tiels and they love routine too so if you do it consistently they'll begin to look foward to their time together.

Every morning when I get up for work I go to Joey's cage and say 'good morning' and make chirpy noises. When I get home from work I go to him and say hi and let him out for play time. Then at 8pm I watch a movie (he's in the living room). You can add more and more fun loving things as you bond.

Good luck with your new tiel.

Patience is definitely the key ingredient.


Apfate.


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## SweetSimmy (Sep 1, 2008)

Well if the lady didnt know much about him, they probably never gave him much attention so hes probably scared of people (especially with kids running around)
My max and freya have been with me since late july, we are getting closer but they are still not very used to me. im trying hard though. what i do is just take one at a time and hold it for a about 3-10 min at a time and pet it. its probably just going to need more time adjusting to people, my birds are still not very used to me because when they were close to leaving home, me and my bf went in vacation. so his brother was feeding the birds. so they didnt get enough person attention. but they are getting better. 
Im sure everything will be fine with your little friend


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## DementedMom (Sep 26, 2008)

*Just an Update*

Well, I still can not touch Malakia, but I can at least put my hand in his cage an even a couple of times he accepted food from my hand (but just briefly) I hope one day he will know that I will not hurt him, and accept love, I know that may take a long time though. I also hope that some day both Malakia and Diesel will get along, their cages are side by side so that they can see and hear each other, and a few times I have put Diesel into Malakia's cage for a "play date" (as I heard that's how you get them to "want" to be together) but for the most part, they ignore each other, or sometimes Diesel will try to peck Malakia, I never leave them together un-intended, and they are not together for to long of a time frame, but not sure how else to go about this...will they ever "want" to be together, don't they get lonely for their own kind? I know I have a lot to learn about these little guys, sometimes I wonder if I'm the right person (at least for Malakia) I don't want to be another "human" just passing him around, but I want him to be happy to! I will be very greatful for all help and in-site.


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## sweetrsue (Jul 8, 2008)

Their "playdates" should be on neutral territory. not in one of their cages or the other. Malalia may see this as an invasion of his space. Is there a way you could have them out on a play stand or something? They might have a completely different attitude it!


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## DementedMom (Sep 26, 2008)

That would be great, but I would not be able to get Malakia back into his cage, I don't think he would return on his own...or would he?


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## MomoandMillie (Dec 3, 2008)

My MoMo is totally unfriendly to hands but I can have him out of his cage, I taught him to step up onto a perch and he comes out, he does the exact same to go back in again. If Malakia can step up it should be ok.


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## DementedMom (Sep 26, 2008)

:clap:That's a cool idea, I had never thought of trying to teach him to step up using a perch, I'll start working on that tomorrow, that would be such a help if he learns that.
Thank you so much for the idea


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