# Sunny vs. the fiance



## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

I was hoping that Sunny and my fiance would figure things out for themselves, but apparently it's not going to happen. So, I need some advice. Sunny _likes_ the fiance. He flock calls to him. When he comes home, Sunny is excited to see him, etc. However, for as sweet and docile as Sunny is for me, he likes to terrorize the fiance. Everything that the fiance has Sunny thinks is his- which I actually think is kind of funny- his socks, his hat, his Steeler blanket, etc. But that's not really the problem.

The problem is Sunny will not go in his cage for the fiance. I need a ride home tonight from work and really didn't want to take the bus. It's cold! The fiance has been trying for over 2 hours to get Sunny to go back to his cage. Everytime he tries, Sunny just flies away and/or tries to bite him. It's such an on-going problem that the fiance now doesn't like to get Sunny out when I'm not home. Which makes me feel bad because our work schedules are often different and that means Sunny is in his cage all day when he could be out with the fiance.

Sunny goes in his cage no problem for me. He steps up. I put him on top of his cage, and he climbs in by himself. Sometimes it might take a few minutes for him to go but I hardly ever physically put him in. And I never grab him. I really don't want the fiance to grab him either. He's come such a long way in the past year and generally is a really good boy. Any thoughts on why and what to do?


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

Sometimes food bribery will make a reluctant bird go in the cage. With some birds you need to give them the treat just before you stick them in the cage, so they're happily munching instead of flying away. With others you need to wave the treat in front of their face but not actually give it to them until they're in the cage.


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## meaggiedear (Nov 20, 2011)

willow does this to me and i have no solution. i literally have to grab her, but that makes her so mad at me and i hate doing it but she leaves me no alternative. 

has he tried using a perch to pick sunny up with? maybe turning out the lights so sunny can't see? lol.


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## JennyLynn (Feb 13, 2012)

My danny girl started this with my husband first, but would step up for me, now she does it to both of us and refuses to do step up anytime.


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## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

I think Sunny is unfortunately confined to his cage today until I get home as the finance said he doesn't want a repeat of yesterday.  I will offer all your suggestions to him and see what he thinks. I suggested this morning maybe instead of me putting Sunny to bed and back in his cage in the morning, etc. the fiance needs to try to do it with me. I don't know if that will make a difference or not. Sunny is so good for me. I don't know what the issue is with the fiance. Then Sunny gets mad at him if he doesn't get him out. For instance, Monday he didn't get Sunny out. When I got home, I let Sunny out and he was waiting on top of his cage for me to finish getting his dinner together. The fiance walked over and tried to give Sunny a kiss on the head. Sunny turned around and flicked his tail in the fiance's face and then walked over and stared at the wall, ignoring the fiance completely. Clearly Sunny was mad at him and I said to the fiance- you know what Sunny just told you to kiss.....


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## meaggiedear (Nov 20, 2011)

really, the fiance needs to be sunny's caretaker for a while. i know this bc kevin came down to visit my birds after not being around for a while and they wouldn't step up for him, turned their back to him, and would not sit with him. they just flew away. they don't have to depend on him. they have to depend on me and they know that. and they used to be good for kevin. (minus grey, but that's a different story) so. i would let the fiance "make his dinner" and make sure sunny sees him changing the water and the food, etc.


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## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

I think you're right. Of course, my fiance LIKES me to primarily take care of Sunny but I think he's going to have to be more involved.


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## MildlyAnnoyedBird (Jun 10, 2011)

Watch closely, and see how your fiance talks to Sunny.

In my house, we have the same problem I'm female, my fiance is male. Both birds step up for me with little fuss. For him, the male (Sunshine) steps up with minimal fuss after a little flying away, but CC, the female -- FORGET IT. NO. Nope. Not happenin'. No way, Jose. 

She will fly away from him fifty times before he can get her to step up (or at least, she used to). So I watched. And watched, and watched.

And I realized it was his tone of voice and the way he moved his hand. Instead of moving his hand with a slow, steady motion and saying in a firm, commanding tone, "Step up, CC" like you would if you were telling a 2 year old to go to bed, he would sort of jerk his hand at her and ask, "you wanna step up?"

That just doesn't work with her, she KNOWS he's wishy-washy so she flies away. I showed him to give her his finger and DEMAND that she step up -- and bingo. It works. It's not perfect every time, but it's WAY better than the hour long chase we were doing. Now, I'd say, it takes at max 10 minutes.


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

My hubby liked me to do all the care for the birds as well and in our case, he's the one who wanted them in the first place. So I told him he had to start taking responsibility. If the fiance wants Sunny to like him and spend time with him, he's gotta put in the time too. Totally worth it.


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

Reading this thread, now I worry if I have things to worry about in the future! My birds are all so good about stepping up for both me and my boyfriend (with the exception of Storm, but he's just not good about stepping up for anybody so we have to bait him). Juju used to be weird about hands when I first got him, but after a light clip and following Moon's example he started to trust us more. Now he will always step up when asked, even though he's been able to fly again for a while now. Honestly, I'm surprised at how much my birds seem to like the BF even though he seldom shows his face to them and I'm the one that takes care of them 99% of the time. They even like strangers and will step up for them too, though it takes a few minutes for them to decide someone is okay. I guess we're fortunate in that regard.


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## meaggiedear (Nov 20, 2011)

echolalia said:


> Reading this thread, now I worry if I have things to worry about in the future! My birds are all so good about stepping up for both me and my boyfriend (with the exception of Storm, but he's just not good about stepping up for anybody so we have to bait him). Juju used to be weird about hands when I first got him, but after a light clip and following Moon's example he started to trust us more. Now he will always step up when asked, even though he's been able to fly again for a while now. Honestly, I'm surprised at how much my birds seem to like the BF even though he seldom shows his face to them and I'm the one that takes care of them 99% of the time. They even like strangers and will step up for them too, though it takes a few minutes for them to decide someone is okay. I guess we're fortunate in that regard.


If he is usually in the same room as them even if he doesn't interact, it's fine. When the birds were upstairs, willow preferred Kevin and farrah and ama preferred me, but they didn't throw a fit about stepping up like they do now. Just seeing him everyday and knowing he is there will be okay for most birds. 

Birds like Grey, Sunny, and CC are exceptions. They are stubborn beyond normal. Kind of like old men/women who are super set in their ways. Simply bc they know they can be. I think Storm will probably be the only one who will ever MAYBE give you long term trouble. But he doesn't seem bratty, just not used to it all yet.


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## MildlyAnnoyedBird (Jun 10, 2011)

meaggiedear said:


> Birds like Grey, Sunny, and CC are exceptions. They are stubborn beyond normal. Kind of like old men/women who are super set in their ways. Simply bc they know they can be. I think Storm will probably be the only one who will ever MAYBE give you long term trouble. But he doesn't seem bratty, just not used to it all yet.


Totally agree with this!

CC is just....well, I won't use the word, LOL! She was a pet-store bird that I took because the store did NOT know what to do with her. She has the personality of a huge cockatoo and an ego to match. She's cranky, crabby, particular, won't eat half of what you give her, has to be bathed a certain way, talked to a certain way, kissed a certain way, looked at a certain way....she's a total diva, and she just is not a happy girl most of the time. So when she realized she could boss my fiance, it was like her face lit up and she went, "YESSSS! SCORE! I WIN!" Actually, it was pretty stinkin' funny.

But she wasn't well-handled as a younger bird, AND she was shunted from pet-store to pet-store, so she's got her "things". She's come around a lot, but she'll never be like Sunshine (or most 'tiels, really). I suspect she came from a backyard breeder or a bird mill. So I wouldn't take her as a shining example of what most 'tiels are like, hehe. But even with all that, she's a good little girl most of the time.


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## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

MildlyAnnoyedBird said:


> Totally agree with this!
> 
> So when she realized she could boss my fiance, it was like her face lit up and she went, "YESSSS! SCORE! I WIN!" Actually, it was pretty stinkin' funny.
> 
> .


LOL. Well, it's good to know it's not just Sunny. I think he sometimes goes out of his way to torment the fiance. And it does make me laugh. :blush: Except now for the fiance not wanting to get Sunny out of his cage..... But Sunny is so hot and cold with him. Like this morning, he wanted scritches from the fiance and not me. :blink: Who knows what goes on in their little heads........


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