# so angry!



## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

i went to my gf's for the weekend leaving neb in the "capable" hands of my mum who i thought would do a good job considering she had a budgie avery. i rung up last night to see how things were going as neb is a nervous bird anyway and she said he had got out of the cage and shed been chasing him round for 2 hours!!!  i told her to leave him alone and if need be let him stay out tonight and ill come home early and get him back. she then rung back an hour later saying he had bitten her really hard and she was bleeding (ive seen the bite and it is BRUTAL!) I then said what gave him the oppurtunity to bite to which she replied "i picked him up in both hands and put him back in the cage". i was so angry!! how stupid!!! after a massive row when i got back telling her that he isnt tame and that we are working on taming and that she scared the *&@$ out of him i proceeded to go upstairs to see him. he was extremely anxious and pacing backwards and forwards and shaking. i put my hand in to feed him and he went mad and flew out. since then ive been getting him to step up but he wont let me go anywhere near him now! even when i said "hello" he flipped out in fear. i cannot believe what she has done and im so angry but more to the point how can i regain nebs trust back. those of you who have read my posts in the past know that he is a shy bird and has only just begun to feel comfortable but now he is worse than the first day i got him! what can i do? suggestions please!!!


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## Cockatiel love (Aug 15, 2010)

Maybe start at the basics and do feed taming where you put millet or seed in your hand and softly talk to the bird until it comes near you and eats then work your way up.
I am sorry this has happened, please try not to hate your mum I am sure she tried her best, i know it is annoying but I know Neb will become tame again  

HAHA nice neb is ben backwards, was that planned?


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

yeah thats what ive been doing. i got him to step up once too bless him. grrrr!! i just get so protective over him. my gf got the whiteface cinnamon in the same store as i did and she is so tame. loves scritches and baths but neb is different. hes a bit older and a lot shyer so i get very protective of him lol. sad i kn ow but heh!! 

and no i didnt. im an astronomer so i called him Nebula because of his colours but never say his full name lol!


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## tielmom (Aug 4, 2010)

I would suggest that you give him a couple of days of down time where you are not bothering him, but sitting next to his cage...not making any attempts to do anything except talk and whistle to him softly. He will be okay...this has happened to my Rambo and they are worked up for a couple days but things should be okay.


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

what happened with rambo?


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## tielmom (Aug 4, 2010)

He was found out in the wild...badly plucked...he had no crown and one side of his cheek was missing feathers. He was extremely scared and panicked when we would come near his cage. We have had him since the beginning of July and he is doing wonderful now. 
I did not push him at all...I wanted the bonding and coming to me to be on his terms. 
At first any attempt to get close to him would make him nervous and he would lean really low and try and bite us. He only liked my husband at first...I think his previous owner was a man, because after about a week of being in our home, he started calling to my husband when he would walk by his cage. Before we knew it he was leaning for us to pick him up, we just let him roam freely...we open his cage in the morning and I stay at home to home school my daughter so he is able to go in and out of his cage freely. He still bites every once in a while, we just have to feel out his mood. 
A couple of weeks ago my daughter started getting a little forceful with him and he bit her really badly...she upset him really bad...it took a while for him to settle down and he did not want anyone to touch him much less pick him up and hold him...I was so angry, because I felt all of the effort we had put in and the progress we had made was ruined, but like I said before, it took a couple of days of letting him be and now he is FINE...good luck


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

bless him. i just get so worried. hes a nervous bird anyway and it took me three weeks to get him to BEGIN to trust me and now i have to start over  its sad  i cant beleive the difference though. the day i leaft he had scritches with my nose, was eating from me and spent time with me for about 15 minutes at a time, and now he wont come near me and if he does let his guard down and step up, hes not interested in the treat and runs off after about 5 seconds. such a massive difference and its annoyed me!! GRRRR


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

He'll recover. Just be patient and keep working with him and you'll regain all the lost ground.


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

Cheers guys. im trying. hes eating millet from me now. not individual clusters like before, but a whole spray. bless him. hes so scared


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

"If you ever see your cockatiel arch forward threateningly with his beak open, or weave back and forth hissing, then this is an indication that the bird is ready to attack. If you ever see this, the best course of action is to back off immediately and let your bird calm down. Never try and lunge toward your cockatiel or grab him when he is in such an agitated state. He will attack you and any trust in your relationship can be irreparably damaged. Once trust is lost with your cockatiel it can be very difficult if not completely impossible to ever get it back."

i just read this online. is this true :'(


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## tielmom (Aug 4, 2010)

That is great news...I think he will be back to his old self in no time...thankfully he has an understanding owner who is willing to let him come around on his terms


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## tielmom (Aug 4, 2010)

It is true that your tiel is feeling threatened and he will definitely attack you when he is doing this...it is not true that he will never trust you again and all hope is lost...trust me, if that was the case I would not have the relationship that I happily share with my Rambo...Don't Worry, he will come around


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

> i just read this online. is this true :'(


It may be true in rare cases but on the whole I think it's wrong. Even abused birds have learned to have a good relationship with humans and cockatiels are more forgiving than many species.


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## KateBascombe (Sep 27, 2010)

I wouldn't necessarily back off, don't want him getting the idea that threatening would get him his way. If anything I just wouldn't move, that way you aren't ignoring his body language. But you also aren't giving way and letting him be dominant. If he moves away from you at that point, that's fine. You don't want him to think you're ignoring what he's trying to say, because then he might stop giving warnings. But you also don't want him getting the upper hand and learning that he can be boss. That's just my opinion.


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

Personally I think it's OK to show some respect for the cockatiel's feelings. You wouldn't necessarily back off in ALL situations but it's probably a good idea to do it in this one. This is a frightened bird who's making threats because he's afraid of you. He's likely to feel better about you if you back off when he tells you to, instead of standing there posing an ongoing threat until he gets tired of defending himself and gives up.


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

yeah hes getting there already though. hes eating from my hand (just individual millet clusters, so its a very small bit of food meaning hes closer to my hand) and he woke me up singing today!!  hes stepped up a few times but then again even before this incident he was so so stubborn. wouldnt change him though ~


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

He's recovering quickly. That's great!


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

i know!  my gf got her tiel at the same time and hers begs for scritches, runs on her shoulders and generally plays. neb wont let me touch him unless he is on my finger, doesnt play atall, just sits by himself and will never come to me volentarily. at first i was jelous, but now i realise that he is scared, a bit older than my gf's and not used to being handled. he will be with me for years to come. he'll be with me when i move out, he'll be with me when i get my degree, he'll be with me for a long time. im in no rush and i hope he realises it  he can take all the time in the world and i will wait. im majorlly protective over him and i'll help him in what ever way i can


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## tielmom (Aug 4, 2010)

He is very fortunate to have you...sounds a lot like my Rambo. Rambo does not like to be touched too much. I get a couple times a day when he is affectionate...it is on HIS terms though...I do not push him. He does not really notice toys either, it has just been within the last couple of weeks that I notice him kind of chewing on one of them. He used to have nothing to do with toys at all. I still switched out his toys just in case, I do not want him to be bored. Lol


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

Yeah, Rambo and Neb sound alike. he wont go near any of his toys. ive never seen him play with one of them. he likes to poop on them though lol.


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## brando (Oct 27, 2010)

give him time a feel greatful that you had someone to take care of him for you. dont be mad at someone, expecially your mom, for doing such a thing for you as taking care of a pet. she saved you money and gave your bird food and a place to be for the night (or however long). think about her in this case also. your bird was flying around a house and while she was asleep the bird could have gotten hurt, so really it comes down to a broken bird or an irritaded bird thats is still fine but just needs a little more time to tame. i'd take the second one myself


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## MeanneyFids (Aug 24, 2010)

a little hint if you want, wing clipping really helps with taming. makes it a LOT quicker. if youre against clipping, let me say just do it for taming purposes and for the next molt just let him regrow the clipped feathers. if he cant fully fly you dont have to worry bout him escaping like he did and being scared to death. he'd be easier to catch, making less stress on him. also this means he has to rely on YOU as he cant get to and from places the way he used to. meaning hed be more keen on becoming more tame. its a suggestion that works for many, many people if you are willing to give it a try. you dont have to, its completely up to you. personally, im not against clipping. its personal choice, it doesnt harm the bird. its all a matter of how people look at it. im gonna keep dally flighted, TSUKA however is a big maybe. i may want to work with him for a bit more before i decide. hes very clingy in his own way so i gotta worry bout that if hes flighted....


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

yeah i am considering getting him clipped, however whenever i make any progress with him, it is taken away. like the new cage scenario i posted here, and now this. i am slowly gaining his trust and i think i would loose it all again if he was handled to be clipped. im not sure, i would really like to get him clipped but i dont want the trust taken again


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## MeanneyFids (Aug 24, 2010)

it MAY, but it'll speed up after that. you can be sitting here for years working with a flighted bird for taming. its gives them an edge lol "oh i can fly, you cant, what are you gonna do bout it?" tsuka we clipped the day we got him. since hes already back to untame again, id say get him clipped now if you choose to clip him. it wont do any more damage


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## tielmom (Aug 4, 2010)

I would take him to someone else to clip his flight feathers...that way he will not associate this moment with you, hopefully...Clipping his flight feathers may actually be a very good idea for you.


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## tielmom (Aug 4, 2010)

RentalWhisper said:


> Yeah, Rambo and Neb sound alike. he wont go near any of his toys. ive never seen him play with one of them. he likes to poop on them though lol.


How long did you say that you have had him?


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## MeanneyFids (Aug 24, 2010)

ya, forgot to mention that, thanks tielmom!


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

i dunno!! lol. i really wanna get it done but like i say i feel so sorry for him and hate putting him under stress. ive had him for a month now


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## MeanneyFids (Aug 24, 2010)

if you want him clipped, id do it sooner than later. it'll really help. honestly. i had tsuka for about 2.5 months. he was stepping up in a week, without fail. he was accepting scritches after 3 weeks, he wasnt afraid of us at all after 3 days of having him, simply from clipping his wings


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## RentalWhisper (Sep 10, 2010)

ok. i think i'll do it. i hate putting him under stress lol. im majorlly protective of my bird lol


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

> i hate putting him under stress lol


The stress of being clipped doesn't last very long. Every bird is different and I can't predict how yours will react. But my tiels seem to be more relaxed in general when they're clipped. It's like they feel obligated to take off at the slightest little sound when they have the ability to fly fast and far, but when they have less flight power they just shrug and ignore minor things. I know the body language of fear and they don't show it.

Cockatiels are strong flyers and a good clip won't completely remove his flight power. But it will slow him down and limit the distance that he can go, which is good. A panicked full-flighted bird flying wildly through a human house is in danger of being hurt or killed.


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## lperry82 (Aug 2, 2010)

Iv clipped all my birds, cookie hasnt got alot clipped but just enough he cant get far (clipped his as he kept on flying straight up and im sure he wanted to go to space)
Lucky is getting better now and can get to places where she wants to be or jumps on my head to get behind me onto furniture then onto cage lol
Budgies, tweety is getting better aswell but not far, dobby he likes to climb up on my net onto curtain pole.
Since new feathers coming in and they getting better, i dont think i will clip again


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