# Biting and Hissing. . . I give up



## Ninja (Jan 25, 2013)

I got a tiel for my birthday 5 moths ago and she still absolutely hates me. 
I want to teach her to love me but every time i even enter the room she greets me with a hiss. I sit down next to the cage every night and read to her out of a book and occasionally sing to her but she wont go anywhere near me and still replies with a hiss. Please help me!!!


----------



## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

How old is your tiel and where did she come from? (A pet store, etc.) Is she in a room by herself or a room where she is around other people? I don't know if you live with other people, etc. but maybe she needs more human interaction? Also, here is a thread with some good advice on taming: http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?p=314774#post314774 Just be patient and try not to get frustrated. I think tiels sense frustration and it just makes things worse.


----------



## Charlie's Mom (Jan 16, 2013)

I got my tiel from Bird Paradise a reputable store, they hand fed him to make him friendly and he is. My tiel loves me and comes to me and wants to be by me all the time, but, he hisses and bits me all the time..Some just do not like to be touched, I am sure your bird loves you. Just give him/her time...


----------



## Sendo (Nov 25, 2012)

Took me 3 years to tame mine  as they were not hand fed, but fed by their natural mother.


----------



## Ghosth (Jun 25, 2012)

My first bird ( Cara, male) we got from Petco, I swear we bonded in the store.
Less than a month later I got a second off craigslist (Joey, female 5)

Joey has been a challenge, hissing, biting, but she had been cage bound for years in a small cage (mostly vertical, not enough horizontal) However within a week she was coming out of the cage on her own onto a play area set near my left shoulder. 

Play area was designed to make it easy for a clipped bird to come out of the cage, move up perch's, ropes, branches to comfortable safe feeling spots. Yet closer to me.

That was last June, it is now Feb, she will step up about half the time. The other half she will attempt to fly and end up on the floor. Once on the floor she will step up, but given a clear shot at cage or play area may launch back away.

However she no longer hisses, even if I touch her. She no longer bites unless grabbed.
She is right at the point of accepting skritch's. I have actually toweled her a few times and sat and ran my hands over her again and again so she learns that she won't be hurt. Held her head and gently skritch while she is restrained so she can't bite, but also is not hurt. Drastic steps I know and I don't advocate for everyone.

She is finally getting to the point where if I carry her to a small confined space (Bathroom) she will stay on my finger. Even letting me skritch and stroke her. 

It feels good, and she really likes it but hates the loss of control, so we still have a ways to go. 

Overall I have let her become comfortable for a month or 2, then for 3-4 days I will push her hard, out of her comfort zone. Then back off and let her get used to the new status. 

She has been showering with us once a week since October. Once caught and in the bathroom she would be a perfect lady, and she loves the hot water. I do truly believe that showering once a week is a bonding experience. Provided you have all set and ready before hand, and you approach it all carefully so they don't have a bad experience. 

A perch in the shower is helpful, and handy for you. When they are good and wet you can put them on the perch while you take your shower.

Wintertime they get a light blow drying on a towel bar before going back to their room. Just helps dry them off quickly so they don't get chilled.


----------



## Sendo (Nov 25, 2012)

Ghosth said:


> My first bird ( Cara, male) we got from Petco, I swear we bonded in the store.
> Less than a month later I got a second off craigslist (Joey, female 5)
> 
> Joey has been a challenge, hissing, biting, but she had been cage bound for years in a small cage (mostly vertical, not enough horizontal) However within a week she was coming out of the cage on her own onto a play area set near my left shoulder.
> ...


You'd need a hazmat suit after I use the bathroom  :blush:

All jokes aside, while showering with your bird is cool, I prefer not to do that for obvious reasons (soap, bodywash, shampoo, bathroom chemicals, etc.) are all scented and birds are extremely sensible to household chemicals, which is why my bathroom is closed and I have a HEPA air purifier in the bird room.


----------



## Ninja (Jan 25, 2013)

I got Scarlet (for her scarlet cheeks) From a different family that had to move and could not take her. Would this affect it?


----------



## Ghosth (Jun 25, 2012)

It would all depend on her relationship with them, and most importantly the first few times she interacted with you in her new home. 

Put yourself in her shoes, your a hulking huge scary giant that has no feathers, 2 hands either one of which are capable of crushing her with a single grab. So it is your job to earn that trust, to show her she has nothing to fear. By the sound of it you have not been too successful up to this point. What is more you've taught her that if she hisses and bites you back off. 

So at this point you either give up and accept that birds probably are not for you, try to find her a decent home with other birds to interact with. Or accept that you have a long long hard job to do, and sit down and figure out how to do it with out hurting her.


----------



## Ninja (Jan 25, 2013)

How do I start? I am totally up to the hard task of training Scarlet.  How do you teach them to trust you then eventually step up?


----------



## Korvia (Aug 3, 2012)

Here is a sticky on food bribery: http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=28661
Food gets you far with cockatiels.
Sticky on taming: http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=22073
and a sticky on taming skittish/aggressive birds: http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?p=314774#post314774
Is she clipped? if not that will help with taming, thought it is up to you if you clip or not. it's not imposable to tame a flighted bird, it's just not easy.
Clipping sticky:http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=682
and a dangers on both clipped and non clipped if that helps too: http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=33319
Hope that helps


----------



## Fortunate (Oct 31, 2011)

I have had 2 of my tiels for 4 years now and my female just started to trust me, she lets me pick her up (and hardly bites anymore) but she will not step up or eat from my hand, when she is out an nibbles my toes I get super excited coz i know its abig step for her. 
My male eats out my had and sings to me but wont srep up or let me catch him, he refuses to come out his cage most days and when he does he hides behind the couch for a long time before getting the courage to explore, and even then he wont wonder off by himslef he will follow Willow everywhere. 

I spent every day trying to get them to love me and trust me and eventully just gave up - a few months after i gave up they started becoming tamer - i think its coz i wasnt stressed out so much anymore and was more comfortable and relaxed around them, I think they pick up on our emotions.
Dont give up but dont stress out either just relax, she will love you soon enough.


----------



## newsun (Aug 12, 2011)

I was given a tip that really worked. Mine just hated fingers and I think she was really stressed from being an escapee that ended up at the Humane Society. She'd eat millet either when I offered it through the bars of her cage or kept my hands on the far end. She'd hiss and bite if a finger was any where nearby. I had gotten her to go up on a perch for millet but a finger was just not happening.

I got her to go up by making a fist, tucking my thumb in and folding my first finger at the joint to form a short perch. I held millet just out of reach, alternating by giving her a taste. She did take a few "taste" bites to check to see what it was and if it would move. It's important to not jerk. She needs to know it's sturdy. After a couple of weeks, she just wanted the millet so much and my hand did not look like a finger so she stepped up. I continued with my hand like that for a while. My next step was to slowly extended my finger a bit more each day. There was a bit of beak but I didn't move. After a while, she just went up on my finger. It took months but it was worth it.

One thing with my tiel is that I have to move my hands very slowly. Sudden movements definitely bring on the beak. Never broken skin but definitely on the defense. Mine also checks everything with her beak and I had to learn not flinch. 

Just keep trying and one day you'll have a breakthrough and it will be so rewarding.


----------



## Fortunate (Oct 31, 2011)

thanks newsun!
Im going to give this a shot with mine, will try anything


----------



## Ghosth (Jun 25, 2012)

They use that beak as a hand to grab whatever they are about to step on. Like we would grab a hand rail. So you have to get over being worried about that beak. 

Also they pick up on emotions VERY quickly. So you need to be rock solid steady. Not upset, or agitated, frustrated, or angry. Like a rock washed by water, nothing sticks.
Not projecting anything, just there.


----------



## Son (Oct 29, 2012)

Haven't managed to hand tame, but have got to the stage where Schroder walks all over us and stalks my son. He is parent reared and hissed every time we went near him when we got him. Had him in the main room of the house and just left him to watch us for a few weeks, just spending very small amounts of time talking to him and not getting too close (he got really stressed just when I changed his food at first). Then got closer, started offering millet which took quite a long time for him to build the confidence. He then started taking it and will eat from our hands. Comes out of the cage regularly and lets himself back in. I think this helped because he could get away from us if he was scared, although we never approached him outside of the cage. He then became curious and started to come to us (although still scared of hands). All of this took over 8 months with a young bird, so it takes a lot of patience. Good luck though, we made more progress with this little bird than I expected, but it was very slow and is ongoing...


----------

