# My Birdie hates me...



## Jessducky (Aug 24, 2012)

Hey everyone, I'm new to the forum here. I have a cockatiel named JoJo. Pretty sure he's a boy, not positive. I bought him from Petco (i know, i know) and they said he was about 2 years old. This was 4 years ago, so he is supposedly about 6 now. 

He hates me. And everyone else for that matter. He hisses and puffs up and weaves back and forth whenever anyone comes near the cage, and he lunges to bite whenever you put your hand ANYWHERE inside or touching the outside of his cage.

I have held him a few times wrapped in a towel, but he attacks the towel and bites it until you let him go again.

He hates to come out of the cage for exercise and will just fly somewhere out of reach and stay there not moving.

It's really depressing!! He won't take food from my hands, I've tried putting my hand in the cage to try to get him used to it, but then he bites me. As i'm typing this his cage is about 3 feet away and if i even shift in my seat he gets all flustered and runs away to the back corner of his cage.

A friend of mine has had parrots her whole life and said he's just a grouchy bird, but i want him to be happy! and he doesn't seem happy.


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## MeanneyFids (Aug 24, 2010)

your bird is a pearl, and a girl. for sure.

male pearls lose the pearls around a year old or before.











also, the bird sounds nesty, with the hissing and rocking back and forth. is there anything the bird seems to see as a nest in the cage? how often do you rearrange the cage? is the bottom of the cage closed in? how many hours of sleep a night does this bird get? a hormonal bird should get 12-14 hours of darkness a night.


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

If that's a recent picture, JoJo is a girl. Pearl males lose all their pearls and look like normal grey males at maturity. 

Have you tried dropping treats into her cup and make sure she sees you do it. You have to find a distance away from her that wont upset her and slowly work on making it closer. Have you tried offering her a millet sprig and standing there holding it to get her to eat it?


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## Jessducky (Aug 24, 2012)

ok, SHE lol has a mirror in the top corner with her favorite perch. That is pretty much where she sits and snuggle ALL day long. I thought at one point she was maybe nesting so i gave her some phone book to tear up (a little one with just a few pages through the top of the cage) and she tore up only the part that was in her way, did not make any nest, and then ignored the rest of the pages. she gets mad when i put more pages in. she also hates toys and any kind of change. if we change the furniture in the room she gets mad, if i clean her cage and move her own furniture she gets mad. even if i give her seed sticks she gets mad. she's ridiculous.


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## MeanneyFids (Aug 24, 2010)

she sounds like an untame bird, have you checked out our training stickies down in the sticky library?

http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=22073

http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=28661

have you considered clipping her wings?


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

Also sounds hormonal...she gets mad because you're making her environment unfit for babies. Tiels don't tear up their own bedding like other birds, we have to offer it to them for them to breed. Or they lay on the floor. Definitely sounds like she needs some hormone reduction to mellow her out a little bit.


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## Jessducky (Aug 24, 2012)

So JoJo makes heart wings sometimes though, isn't that a MALE characteristic only?

If she's nesty does she need a nest box? Will that make her more friendly?

Yes i've tried the Taming techniques and they haven't worked for me at all.


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## MeanneyFids (Aug 24, 2010)

do you have a photo of her doing heart wings? because based on mutation and age, she is guaranteed female. i've seen a guaranteed female cockatiel do heartwings, its possible. but she is FOR SURE female. 

female pearls keep the spots their whole life. males lose them and look like normal greys. they lose them by a year old.

some birds just are not people birds. she sounds like she may be one of those. i have one like that, my male lovebird. he would rather be left alone than fully tame.


no box, you dont want chronic laying, and it will make her more aggressive


she needs to be given longer sleep hours, cage rearranged, and thrown out of this cycle. dont give paper to shred or the likes. no nest, no box, no tent, no hut nothing like that


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

Do NOT give a nest box. It will make her worse! Then she could start laying and this could be very dangerous for her health. What you want to do is lower her hormones. http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=32330 This sticky explains how to lower her hormones.


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## Jessducky (Aug 24, 2012)

The bottom of the cage is closed in. I do not rearrange the cage very often (few times a year) because she hates it so much. I honestly don't know how much sleep she is getting. We just moved, and in our old house she was in the den where we have blackout curtains so it was fairly dark most of the time. (She hates being near windows). 

If I have a particularly LONG sprig of millet she will take it from my hand. Otherwise she just runs away.

How do I help her be less hormonal?

I do not have a picture of the heartwings. I'll try to take one next time I see it. But yes, that pic is recent so I guess he is a she! haha

Should I take the mirror away? She seems to think its another bird, could that be making her hormones worse?


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

She could be viewing it as her mate, which is more common in males but for a single hen that's not surprising. It would be best to take the mirror away and only give it to her when she's out. You could even use it to tame her (kind of a money see monkey do type deal. Her "mate" likes you...) Use the long sprig of millet and try to work her closer to you as she eats it. Its going to take about two weeks for the hormone reduction techniques to work (the link in my above post explains how to reduce her homrones) but it should put her in a better mood once it kicks in. Right now she's defending her nest and her mate.


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## Jessducky (Aug 24, 2012)

I just read the hormonal thread. I will definitely start her on a more consistent sleep schedule. 

I feel bad taking away her mirror tho! She hates me so I feel like it's her only friend!!


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

But you aren't taking it away completely...use it to train her. Since she's not real comfortable taking millet from your hand, she may be more inclined to follow her mirror mate. And you can place it back into her cage to get her to go there so you don't have to grab her.


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## Jessducky (Aug 24, 2012)

i will try it all out. thanks for your help!


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## nassrah (Feb 27, 2012)

Yes I would take the mirror away,at least for now Good luck and dont give up on her.She s a lovely pearl girl


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## jdennysgirl (Aug 5, 2012)

I don't have an answer to your problem as I am new to this also. All I ever have is questions and no adivce! Lol! I was wondering though, how this could be hormonal if your bird has been doing this all the time for the last 4 years? Isn't there just a few months of the year they tend to be hormonal or can it go on indefinitely? Just wondering, cause it sounds like your bird never did warm up to you at all.


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