# bonding help



## Adam EW (Apr 4, 2014)

Hi Guys,
i bought my Xena so named by the breeder as she is feisty, she is 5 month old and hand tame. the breeder also owns a pet shop and thats where he kept her. 
i got her 11 days ago, her wings are clipped.
im a newbie to hookbills and getting confused about how to bond.

this is how it has been going, i hope to get some advice and pointers.

after about a week she seems more at ease but still doesn't trust us.
-she nows step up more and when she runs away in the cage i follow her to step up
-she still doesn't like me to touch her, i can mostly manage it when feeding millet, but better than before where it was not possible without millet in hand.
-she runs way from my fingers. especially when outside playing and i want to return her inside the cage.
-she is coming out of her cage to eat the millet i leave in front of it
-when i take her out and put her on my shoulder or chest, she flies back to her cage

i try to spend as much time as i can with her about 4 hours daily. but she is in constant human company. 

she gets about 2 hours of sunlight in the morning when i put her with my canaries. this is where she is most comfortable and plays. in the living room with us she just sits doing nothing.

everyone in my family talks to her as they pass by

while watching tv or browsing i place her beside me in the cage or on her stand and i feed her millet daily (usually for about three hours).

i try to let her stand on my hand facing my chest so she wont fly away and pet her. this doesn't last long as she climbs on my shoulder and fly

i try the lader step up training daily but after stepping up two or three times she just locks her feet and doesn't want to budge, other times she just tries to run away 

i wanted to know if what i am doing is ok and on the right track, is there anything else you suggest?

PS: she is not eating veggies or fruits, although she used to with the breeder.


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## tweetsandsarah (Mar 27, 2014)

It might be good to take a step back. Talking to her and spending time with her is awesome, but chasing her in the cage and grabbing her/forcing her is probably breaking her trust. 11 days really is not a very long time to a bird, and she is a baby. She might not even be used to her new environment yet, let alone ready to start being handled.

Using the millet is a very good thing. Show her that your hand won't be forced on her and that good things come from it (the millet). From what I understand, many cockatiels don't like hands, but that doesn't mean they don't like people.

Start by putting your hand near the cage. If she seems comfortable and doesn't back away, try putting your hand in the cage with some millet as an enticement, but don't get too close. If at any time she seems to anxious or upset, go back a step. 
Once she has settled into interacting with your hand or eating the millet on her terms, then you can try working on step up and reward her for millet if she lets your hand touch you without getting upset and give her even more millet if she steps up. This process should be done over several days as she feels comfortable.
After she is comfortable with step up, maybe you can move her around the cage a little on your hand, then try moving her outside of the cage. If she flies off that's ok, just try again later or the next day.

A few other notes. I would suggest not cupping her against your chest (maybe ever) because that seems to me to be very unnatural for a bird. In fact, I would suggest building a strong foundation with her on the step ups and whatnot before even trying to touch her body, wings, or head. Do let her try to spend time out of the cage (letting her come out on her own, lured by millet like you've done is good!) I know this might seem like a lot of baby steps for a bird that was allegedly hand tamed, but that does not mean her training applies to you as you are a new person or she might not have been as handled as was originally thought. Also, a very important note: Spending as much time reading to your bird or talking to them as you can is good. The more time you spend with her the more accustomed she will become. However, when it comes to the training it is better to do 10-15 minute sessions a few times a day than to spend hours and hours stressing them out. One last thing, animals do well when they have a routine. Scheduling as much as you can with your bird at the same times every day can help her feel comfortable because then it is a normal thing at the same time every day.

If she isn't eating her veggies I would maybe suggest asking exactly which veggies she ate at the breeder's shop, how they were prepared, and what schedule they were served on. If you can attempt to duplicate what she was used to then maybe she will start eating them.


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## Adam EW (Apr 4, 2014)

Tnx Sarah,

i have seen progress these two days.

she now comes out from her cage by herself
she comes to me to take millet when im holding it and seems more at ease.

so good progress i guess.


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## tweetsandsarah (Mar 27, 2014)

That's good! As long as you are working on her terms, she will probably continue gaining trust. I'm happy to hear that she is taking millet from you as that is a very good sign in my opinion!


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## Adam EW (Apr 4, 2014)

she now sits comfortably on her stand near me and doses off. 
she runs away from my hand, but if i'm holding millet, my hand is her best friend. i hope with time she wont run away anymore.
what i don't get is the biting, if my finger is near her she will calmly start biting, when the millet piece is done, she starts biting me. she doesn't seem scared, just annoyed by me. will this go away?


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## tweetsandsarah (Mar 27, 2014)

I am not a bird expert, but from my observations birds will test things with their beak. They test perches to see if they are stable and safe. They also test other things (from what I have seen Tweets do). She may be biting for that reason. If she is biting hard then perhaps you are invading her space and you might need to back off a little, but if she is calm then I am not sure.

From my human-animal bond class I learned that as animals learn to associate something with good things they connect that thing with also being good over time. I would assume that if she enjoys millet and takes it from your hand, eventually she may recognize your hand as a good thing too. I am happy to hear that you've made steady progress! If she sits near you outside of the cage and can relax/sleep I would say that is a sign that she knows you aren't as much of a threat and that's good.


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## SteevieRae (Apr 20, 2014)

sounds like you're making progress! just keep at it.. its a slow and painful process, and it does take time. 

Love the cage by the way! looks like she wont be bored!


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## Adam EW (Apr 4, 2014)

Hi Guys, thank you for all your ideas and help.

Today marks 3 weeks since Xena became a part of the family.

everyday she gets more comfy with us, and in her surroundings.

-she now steps up on command
-she is no longer scared and doesn't mind me approaching her unless she is being moody.
-she seems more at ease in general
-And she finally allowed me to give her a head scratch and enjoyed it.

today i created a play area for her and she refused to go back in her cage to sleep, i would put her in, she will jump out immediately and give me attitude then runs to the top perch of her play area. i had to cover the cage, put her in and quickly close the door before she glues herself to it wanting to get out.


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