# Can They Learn To Be Braver?



## TamaMoo (Jan 12, 2014)

I would never try to terrorize Joey trying to desensitize him, or leave him a nervous wreck doing things that make him nervous, but the boy is afraid of everything. He fully lives up to his nickname of Captain Coward.

After a surprise visit from my great nephew (just turned one this week) this afternoon, it is safe to say we can add miniature humans to the LONG list of things he is afraid of. Even keeping Brax at the far end of the living/diningroom/kitchen area, he was a nervous wreck until I partially covered his cage. 

He doesn't like any sudden movements, even from a distance, no flies, flyswatters, gift wrap... anything. Even shadows of people moving, or shadows of outside birds flying. I know tiels, by nature, aren't the bravest of souls, but I've never known one quite this delicate.

Is there a non traumatic, no matter how slow going it may be, way of helping him to be a little less afraid of everything?


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## slugabed (Jul 27, 2014)

Oh wow, and I thought Cassie here was skittish. I think Joey is even worse. I'd like to know too. It'd be nice to have friends over or do other activities that won't leave me worrying about bird all the time.


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## CaliTiels (Oct 18, 2012)

The only way to do it _is_ to desensitize him, I'm afraid. Repetition. Repetition, but familiarity, structure and routine. If you keep shielding him from the outside world, he has learned to be a coward. 

Some birds are more flighty and spooky than others, and Joey may be one, but you are going to have to start reversing the process. Start small. Move one object in his sight and go from there. The more you introduce while he is in a comfortable setting, like his cage or some room in the house he is in often, the quicker you will see results. But "quick" is by definition, very different between people and birds, so it may take some time. It took Beaker about 3 years to stop hissing at carrots and orange things, but he did get over it. He never would have had the fear in the 1st place if a guest didn't push an orange peel in his face. So now he had a bad experience to scare him.

I know it's hard to see them frightened, but what I've done when I had to desensitize parrots is use yourself as a source of comfort. He doesn't have to tackle this on his own! Be there with him, but when you introduce new objects, act like nothing new is happening, so he doesn't get suspicious.

Good luck


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## Kiwi (May 12, 2013)

I agree, desensitizing is the only way I've found helped Kiwi. She went from being scared of every little thing to now rarely having anything scare her except if I dropped something and it clangs against the ground. Even then she only chirps and flaps like once or twice to get off her cage bars and see what is going on. That would scare anyone, but it's not the total chaos of hitting against cage bars or anything just being startled.

It is kind of like how little kids learn things about the world. If you don't desensitize them by getting things closer to them they may think they are scary and then after learning that the object is harmless and maybe fun to play with like toys, then they will see that there was nothing to be afraid of. It especially helps if you play with the object so that they can see you playing with it and they may feel brave enough to get closer to it that way. Seeing you play with it shows that it could be fun and may not hurt them if it is not hurting you or scaring you. I make one of my hands into another "Cockatiel" using the pointer and thumb to kind of mimic their behavior and peck and pull at it and mimic how I've seen Kiwi behave when she is having fun with and object or exploring it. For bigger objects like TVs I also used that method, but first because she would fly away I would hold her against my body and get slowly closer and closer to it. She would escape and fly away sometimes, but she eventually got used to the objects. Once she got used to one big object the rest were easy to get her used to. She loves the computer now, she thought it was evil before she discovered the fun keyboard. 

This is the method I've used with Kiwi to introduce all objects to her. Now whenever I introduce and object to her and use those exact same methods, she will come out of her fight or flight mode instincts very quickly and come over to play with what toy or object I have in my hand. She also is not scared of big objects, like she loves the fake christmas tree and lights. She isn't bothered by us putting anything up or all the increased activity because she's been desensitized to it. Last year she opened Christmas presents with us and tore some of the wrapping paper off her presents. She didn't mind anyone else ripping the paper off either, she just sat through it on my chest. Though it took her until last month to get over towels and blankets being wrapped around her. I couldn't really make that fun, but only tried to do it when she was next to my face. It took a while to get rid of the trauma from pet store handling.


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## TamaMoo (Jan 12, 2014)

Thank you for the advice. It is all much appreciated! I've wondered for a while, but last night when the big scary baby terrified him from across the room that I _really_ started thinking about it all. Brax didn't do anything to scare Joey, but he didn't like the fact he was around. Brax can go up to Moe's cage at mom's house, and babble to him. Little as he is, it sees he knows to be gentle. He will put him hand against the bars, gently, and just hold it there while he and Moe chatter to each other.

Mom has a lot more people in and out of her house - grandkids, their significant others and friends, the little guy, mom's siblings, our family, etc. Moe doesn't seem to be bothered by anything. In fact, the busier it is, the happier he is. After all, everyone is there to see him. Or so he thinks. Silly guy.

I suppose it is the thought of Joey being scared that has allowed me to let him become such a weenie. I will take baby steps but softly talk to him or act as if all is normal, and monitor. If it truly stresses him I will stop and try again another time, at a slower pace.


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## CaliTiels (Oct 18, 2012)

Good. 

The word "desensitize" sounds harsh, like you're stripping away his joy and replacing it by fear, but it really isn't. You are taking the proper steps to desensitize, not just shoving him into an uncomfortable, terrifying situation. 

I'm sure Joey will improve quickly and soon you'll notice a whole different bird


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## TamaMoo (Jan 12, 2014)

Thanks.  Advice from those who know their 'stuff' and love their fids assures me it can be done in a loving way, even though the word sounds harsh.


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## TamaMoo (Jan 12, 2014)

I've been a bit concerned how we was going to react to me putting up the Christmas tree, thinking I may have to put him in another room because of the 'chaos'. I sat the box in the living room and went off to do some dishes. Then I opened it and set the stand up, then went to do a few more dishes. He was looking but didn't seem concerned. I then took the branches out and grouped them on the floor. By then he his nosiness took over and he seemed to forget he is afraid of everything. He went to his food dish to munch and watch the show. 

My little coward never once showed any signs of fear or concern, all through putting it together, putting the lights on and decorating it. In fact, there were times as I walked by he was so interested in seeing what I had I would stop and let him look a while.

So, the two things he ISN'T afraid of are the vacuum and putting up a Christmas tree. Silly boy!


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## CaliTiels (Oct 18, 2012)

We set our Christmas tree up in the living room, the birds are in the greenroom, so they don't really see it, but they like the vacuum too. They do this cute wiggle thing


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## TamaMoo (Jan 12, 2014)

With the way our apartment is, Joey's cage is in the living room. The tree was already up when he moved in last year, and didn't bother him at all because it was already part of his new world. He's been watching it and making kissy noises to it most of the afternoon.

He's currently studying the presents that have just been put under it. I think he is trying to figure out which ones are his. So cute.


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## CaliTiels (Oct 18, 2012)

I adopted Beaker on December 20th, so he came to me with the Christmas tree up and presents under it. He waddled over and started to unwrap one. 

Oh well, no matter, I saw what I got a little early that year :innocent:


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## TamaMoo (Jan 12, 2014)

Such a cute, fun story! He was a good helper!


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## Shockadine (Sep 2, 2014)

To an extent, yes, a bird can absolutely be taught to be more brave. I don't know anything about your bird specifically, but I am going to assume Joey is tame at least with you. It's much easier to get them over fears if they feel like they have control over the scary thing. I have taught birds in the past a "touch it" command. If he's scared of everything, I'd start with something he's uncomfortable with but not completely terrified of. Maybe just an object of some sort. You can use any non-threatening method of getting him closer to the object. You could use a treat or get close to the object yourself so he has to get closer to the object to get to you. He doesn't have to actually touch it right away. Be patient. If there is no way you are going to get him to touch this thing without absolutely freaking him out, start with something less scary. 

Ask him to touch it and make sure his beak makes contact with it. You could place the treat on it. If the bird isn't too scared I might go as far as to give the touch it command and actually bump their beak on it, but only if they are somewhat calm. Once he's touched it, praise him and immediately get the scary thing away from him, either by tossing it or pushing it away from him, or if it's too big or fragile, ask for the "touch it" while he's on your hand and quickly walk him away from it. 

You obviously don't want to make him do it over and over, back to back, but limit it to maybe once or twice a day. He should feel like he has the power to make his fears leave him. When he realizes that anything you ask him to touch, will get away from him, simply telling him to touch something will make it less scary. It gives you a way to communicate to him that he shouldn't be scared, and he has control of the situation. Those things will bother him less in a shorter time then if he was simply left to get over it on his own. 

If he acts really scared of something in the future and actually touches it on his own (they usually touch it cautiously then back away or fly away), remember that he thinks he can make it go away. You should respect his wishes. At least for today. It will raise his confidence. Also I'm not talking about biting. You are looking for a quick tap with the beak, not an aggressive strike.

As for kids, I have found most of my tiels have been afraid of kids. One of the temperament tests my breeders are rated on is their ability to handle children. These are my absolute best tiels, that fear very little and are friendly with everyone they meet. I take them to my friend's house to meet her 6 year old daughter, and even some of them turn into completely different birds with her, and not in a good way. I also think back to how much our family cockatiel hated me when I was a little kid. I guess kids are scary lol.


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## TamaMoo (Jan 12, 2014)

I will give that a try. Thanks! I'd love to do anything I can to help him.

I was talking to mom about her little guy, and the house he was born in has a lot of activity and kids live there, so even before he moved in with her at just a couple months old, he was used to a lot of activity and kids being around. I suppose that is why nothing seems to bother him, including the one year old who will lay his hand on the cage and stand there babbling at him in baby speak.


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## Lillahine (Nov 25, 2014)

TamaMoo said:


> I've been a bit concerned how we was going to react to me putting up the Christmas tree, thinking I may have to put him in another room because of the 'chaos'. I sat the box in the living room and went off to do some dishes. Then I opened it and set the stand up, then went to do a few more dishes. He was looking but didn't seem concerned. I then took the branches out and grouped them on the floor. By then he his nosiness took over and he seemed to forget he is afraid of everything. He went to his food dish to munch and watch the show.
> 
> My little coward never once showed any signs of fear or concern, all through putting it together, putting the lights on and decorating it. In fact, there were times as I walked by he was so interested in seeing what I had I would stop and let him look a while.
> 
> So, the two things he ISN'T afraid of are the vacuum and putting up a Christmas tree. Silly boy!



We don't have a tiel yet but we have two budgies who act the same. We worried about the tree as well ant they were fina as well. Lol,however they won't touch it at all, they will not land in it either even to,save their lives. It is still up and literally 2 feet from them and to think how stressed I was to put it up this year. We are getting our tiel as soon as he is weaned(10 more weeks or so) but our house is busy with 3 kids 11,7 and 5 so we plan on after a few days of being here he joins the rest of the chaos like the budgies. They are scared of new things like toys and new perches but are so used to the kids running around and the noise. We hope our tiel will be the same though but with no experience with yet we can only hope.


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## Peetenomax (Nov 23, 2013)

Yes they can become braver. I got my Dexter as an adult with an unknown past. Although he 'stepped up' he didn't like being touched. He also didn't want to or didn't know how to fly.
He did allow kisses. I worked with that & persistently would bring a finger up from behind to scritch ( while getting kisses). He freaked a bit at 1st but I was able to do a bit more each day. The trick was going slow & knowing when to stop.
Dexter can now be a pain in the backside demanding head rubs.
As far as flying goes we are still working on it. Again small steps. Although he won't fly up from the floor he will fly from my hand to the place we've going. He even will fly to my husband if I launch him in that direction. It's taken a year but each achievement makes me proud of him.

So persistance, a slow pace, & don't over do it in the training sessions. Patience is the #1 key to success. But keep in mind that there are some things that just can't be changed. At least not quickly. Such as his fear of parrotlets. That will never change


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## TamaMoo (Jan 12, 2014)

Joey wouldn't go near the tree, but he spent a bit of time each day serenading it, heartwinging it, and going through his lengthy, repetitive "Good morning! I love you good morning! (garbled something) Hope you have a good day!" routine to it. I traditionally take it down on Jan 6th, and he still looks where it was, then will look at me.

I have been doing the baby steps method of getting him used to things. Some steps are babier than others. Today the apartment maintenance guy had to come change our front door lock because the lock mechanism was wearing out. He was only here about 15 minutes, but in that time he was clearly unhappy, stressed and pacing. Because the door had to be open, he was caged, and covered to prevent a draft. He is all about stranger danger and doesn't like the door open. I stayed with him, and he was clinging to the bars, as close to me as he could get. Poor guy, I kept talking to him and feeding him pellets, because he loves the fruity ones as treats. 

He's getting better in some ways, staying the same in others.


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## Amz (Apr 10, 2013)

Rocko is in the same scaredy-cat boat, so I feel your pain. Hopefully something posted here will help us both out!


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