# Advice on aggressive/fearful boys



## Krissy (May 27, 2012)

Hey guys,
As I said in my intro, I adopted a couple neglected, never handled, most likely abused birds. They do NOT tolerate being touched, held...anything. They are a little better than the first night (Saturday), as I can change their water and newspaper and they just scoot along the side of the cage and watch as opposed to freaking out and beating themselves up by slamming against the sides of their cage. I have taken them out a couple times and it didn't go well, they flew away and smacked into the wall and fell on the floor. Their wings are not clipped so they get pretty reckless. 

I have a feeling I have already ruined any chance at gaining their trust because I used leather gloves to get them out of their cage. I know that's probably a huge no-no, and I'm a brand new bird owner, I took these guys in because I felt that, while I'm new at this, I have had all sorts of animals and believe that with a little help, they'll have the life they deserve and the conditions they were living in were just horrible. 

Anyway, I used the gloves because I have absolutely NO pain tolerance and didn't want to get bit because if they were to get me, I'm 100% I'd end up screeching and yanking away and I don't want them feeling like that's all they have to do to be left alone. So the gloves were also a way of showing them that their biting has no effect. But at the same time, they are scared to death of the gloves and the last thing I want is for them to be scared of me. 

I've tried holding out treats while holding them and they nibble occasionally but are more concerned with screaming their little heads off and it really breaks my heart. So I let them go and they flew back to the top of their cage, where I let them just walk around. But if I even looked at them, they would hiss and rock back and forth. I have no idea how old these boys are but they are not happy and I don't want to ruin them, if that makes sense. 

One of them took food from my hand once, but I'm considering that a fluke as it hasn't happened since. And I've held some spray millet through the cage and they'll nibble on that but I just am finding it hard to watch them get so upset and I'm a person who doesn't want anyone to be afraid of me so it's a bit frustrating because of course it makes me wonder..."Why don't you trust me?!" But at the same time, I know that rushing and forcing them to do things is not a good idea and I have a feeling I've already done that. 

Any advice is welcome! And if I did something wrong, I'm ready to hear that, since I'm already assuming that I did. Thank you all so very much!


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## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

I think you just need to take things slowly. Saturday is not that long a period of time. It takes tiels awhile to settle in. It may have been better not to try to handle them at all for the first few days. I think I would try to go back to step one with them. Just spend some time sitting with them and quietly talking. There is a taming thread at the top of this section that offers some great advice. They need time to learn that you- and hands aren't scary. (Most tiels have an initial fear of hands.) Just take it slow and they will come around.


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## Krissy (May 27, 2012)

Thanks, I'll check that out! I'm leaving them alone for a while! I feel awful


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## meaggiedear (Nov 20, 2011)

Don't feel awful. They don't understand you are full of good things instead of bad yet. You are not being a bad bird mommy, but you will have to go slower. Tiels are pretty timid creatures when it comes to trust. It will be a slow going process for you, but it will be rewarding if you take your time. Go at the their pace. Like sunnymom's said- just leave them be for a while and spend time sitting by the cage talking to them or reading to them. Let them get used to your presence, and let them see your hands being the ones that put their treats in the cage. 

Don't be discouraged.


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## bjknight93 (Nov 13, 2011)

I edited your post and broke it up into paragraphs because it is next to impossible to read/interpret posts when it is all one paragraph.

Since they're already taking food through the cage bars I would continue to do that for a while. Then you do the next step when they seem totally comfortable eating through the cage bars...this would be to try letting them eat from you by sticking your hand in the cage. Take baby steps and at their pace; pushing them will make things worse.


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## Krissy (May 27, 2012)

Sorry... I didn't realize I should have double spaced. It looked ok when I typed it up. I apologize


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## meaggiedear (Nov 20, 2011)

Krissy said:


> Sorry... I didn't realize I should have double spaced. It looked ok when I typed it up. I apologize


You are more likely to get responses if you break it up into paragraphs because it's so much easier to read.  Otherwise people get to about the third sentence and give up. It's just to help you get more readers and responses.


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## bjknight93 (Nov 13, 2011)

It's just easier to read if it is broken up. I know plenty of people who will click on a thread, see a long bundled post, and not even bother to look at it after that.


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

You may have seen them already, but these threads are helpful:
http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=22073
http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=28661

Your first objective is to desensitize your birds to your presence, so that you don't frighten them just by being there. It sounds like you've made good progress on this already.

Your second objective is to teach them to trust you and like you, and this is accomplished by doing things that they like and avoiding doing things that they dislike. There are times when it will be necessary to do something that they don't like, but as long as your interactions are mostly positive they will forgive you for it. They will eventually get over the glove-grabbing as long as you don't make a habit of it. 

Since these are birds who have never been tame and may have been abused, it would be helpful to get their wings clipped (have someone else do it so you're not the bad guy). This will make it possible to let them come out of the cage of their own free will without dangerous panic flying and a long hard struggle to get them back in the cage. It will also make them more reliant on you to get from place to place. Some people are opposed to clipping on principle, but it's a safety issue in this case. You can always let their wing feathers grow out later when they feel more comfortable in their new home.


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