# Extremely attached bird, is it healthy?



## WhiteCarnation (Jul 14, 2013)

Hey guys,

My tiel Jub is extremely obsessed with my boyfriend. When Jub is outside of his cage, he will always fly to my boyfriend's shoulder. If my boyfriend gets up to leave the room, Jub will fly to him. Jub can't seem to be more than 5 inches away from my boyfriend without freaking out.

Jub also tries to fly to my boyfriend when he is inside his cage. He will flap his wings and try to get out just to get near my boyfriend.

Is all of this healthy? He's gone without eating because he's been to busy trying to get to my boyfriend.


Of course, I'm jealous of how close the two have gotten in just a week. But part of me is concerned, and part of me wants Jub to be as attached to me as he is to my boyfriend.


Is there anything i could/should do about this?
Thanks!


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## BirdCrazyJill (Apr 23, 2013)

It's not necessarily unhealthy, unless he is not eating because of it like you said. It is ok to keep him in the cage for a while when you are in the room to teach him that he has rules and can't just do whatever he wants. Think of him as like a kid having a baby gate


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## WhiteCarnation (Jul 14, 2013)

Thanks for the input. I hope that because he's already ten years old (we just got him), that he hasn't always been living with such a "rule-free" life and that things will change a bit. I've actually kept him in the cage for the last two days just so that he would get a little accustomed to our new place (we just moved).


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## catalinadee (Jan 1, 2011)

Spend time with him in a different room to the room your boyfriend is in  I have found it works well for myself, as my birds always prefer my fiance!


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## WhiteCarnation (Jul 14, 2013)

Oh i definitely do! because if Jub even sees my boyfriend he will bite and nip anyone other than Justin. So staying in the same room and playing isn't even an option haha.


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## Tequilagirl (Mar 4, 2013)

I'd ask your OH to stop giving him treats so the good stuff comes from you, otherwise it's going to be hard to gain his affection lol.


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## bobobubu (Dec 12, 2011)

In't that annoying??? Sometimes my partner whistles to my little people and they all perch together, transfixed, and listen as if he was Pavarotti himself! They adore him. I am the one who has to work hard to get to them lol


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## Tequilagirl (Mar 4, 2013)

I am wondering what will happen when my OH comes home on the 1st. He hasn't met Tequila yet (he's in the forces lol). If she likes him more than me he can clean the cage lol.
He can whistle and I can't.. I can't compete with that!


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## bobobubu (Dec 12, 2011)

The only one who is completely immune to Paul's charm is Bubu, and that's just because he is convinced that I am his girlfriend, bless him! 
If he was ever to switch in Paul's favour, someone would get evicted :lol:


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

Solaire won't give my boyfriend the time of day if I'm around, just wants his mommy cuddles, but if it's just him and Brian then he's just as cuddly with him. Birds are funny creatures!

So he's only recently met your boyfriend, and before this he was never this attached to you in ten years? If so that's interesting. Nothing to be done for it, I guess, except try to spend time with him one on one as previously mentioned. As for whether or not it's healthy, it could be argued that spending life in captivity with only humans as a "flock" is unhealthy for a bird, but it is what it is and we just have to make the best of it. 

EDIT -- Oops, just saw that you only recently adopted Jub, so never mind my question. You should check out RowdyTiel's thread on training her tiel...Maverick prefers her dad but I think she's been making good progress bonding with him lately.


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## Kellianne (Jul 13, 2013)

I'm not certain if it works the same with birds as most animals, but did you know his previous owners? Or anything about his situation? We've had and seen dogs, and other animals, that were owned by one gender for years - then when introduced to a household with both favored the gender they had been with most their life. We had a dog named Gypsy who had a clear preference for men - she liked women alright, and did adore me, but any man had her heart the moment she saw them.
On top of that, in some cases, there was the person the animal was attached to, then a person of the opposite gender who treated them poorly. Such as a husband and wife, where the husband adored the animal, but the wife was jealous and treated it badly. Perhaps your new baby doesn't feel safe unless a male is near?
Your boyfriend could even remind him of a previous owner he was attached to.
I would say give him some time - if you haven't already, take over feeding/watering him, giving him treats, etc. If he likes toys, be the one who adds them to his cage. Try the positive reinforcement others have already suggested, too. What does your boyfriend do different from you? Does he play with him, cuddle him, talk to him? Try offering the same sort of socialization. You could also look for some other type of interraction he might enjoy.
Our one Tiel was equally bonded to me and my grandmother - he slept, during the day, on her shoulder, and the two watched tv together. On the other hand, I played with him and talked to him constantly. Sometimes he wanted to be with her and would put on a big act of not wanting to be with me, other times he'd be with me and ignore her. We both offered him a different form of attention, and he learned that, depending on mood, he had to pick the person that offered what he wanted at that time.
If you've only had him a week, just give him some time and try different things with him. Explain the situation to your boyfriend, too - make sure you're both on the same page about things. You could try if he goes flying off his cage, ask your boyfriend to put him back in his cage, then be the one to let him out again after a sort of 'time out', then each take a turn giving him attention when he stays on his cage, rather than flying away, while the other is out of the room?
I've not been through this with a bird - my grandmother has, however. Every bird we've been around has liked me instantly and ignored her. Just work with him, he'll likely come around at least a bit.


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## eduardo (Jan 27, 2012)

Kellianne said:


> I'm not certain if it works the same with birds as most animals, but did you know his previous owners? Or anything about his situation? We've had and seen dogs, and other animals, that were owned by one gender for years - then when introduced to a household with both favored the gender they had been with most their life. We had a dog named Gypsy who had a clear preference for men - she liked women alright, and did adore me, but any man had her heart the moment she saw them.
> On top of that, in some cases, there was the person the animal was attached to, then a person of the opposite gender who treated them poorly. Such as a husband and wife, where the husband adored the animal, but the wife was jealous and treated it badly. Perhaps your new baby doesn't feel safe unless a male is near?
> Your boyfriend could even remind him of a previous owner he was attached to.


I was wondering about the same thing.
My male only allows me to pet him and play with him. He will "use" my husband and son to get treats from them, but that's about it. My female is more willing to share her affection. She likes to perch on my husband's shoulder but she is usually glued to me.
Our dog is loyal to me. He likes to play and cuddle with my husband and son, if my son is feeding him, but I am the one. I am not trying to exaggerate. He will literary refuse to go for a walk longer than a few yards if he knows I am inside and my husband is trying to take him for a walk. If we all sit in the living room, and we each pick a different couch to sit on, he will jump from wherever spot and sit right next to me. 
Animals choose their humans, there is very little you can do about it.


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## WhiteCarnation (Jul 14, 2013)

Echolalia, I only just recently got Jub. I got him as a ten year old.

Since day one, Jub has been attached to my boyfriend. He's alright with me, but will bite anyone other than Justin when they are handling him.


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

WhiteCarnation said:


> Echolalia, I only just recently got Jub. I got him as a ten year old.
> 
> Since day one, Jub has been attached to my boyfriend. He's alright with me, but will bite anyone other than Justin when they are handling him.


Yeah, I realized earlier that I had missed that fact, and edited my response. Sorry!


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