# Bonding ideas



## Elishiva (Aug 23, 2013)

I have read most of the posts in this section of the forum. 
You all have some wonderful stories. 

:grey tiel:


My two babies give me mixed signals. 

The male (Sunny) sings and mimics
Female (Luna) chirps but doesn't sing

Rescue birds who were never handled. 

Sunny was 1yr when I got him with Luna who was estimated at being 6 mos in August '13

For a few months I kept them at a friend's shop. There they sang and mimicked people and I would come 3 times a week to feed and clean up. After realizing that I could not bond with them there and maintain their cage befitting of them, I brought them home. I kept them in a spare room that was warm and away from my cat (declawed front paws) and let the household get use to them and them the household. I would feed, water and clean daily and every few days spend time with them. They will not step up on my finger in the cage, will take food from my hand, squawk at me when I leave the room but no affection or contact. So I tried opening the cage and letting them go if they wanted. They flew out and into the walls. Down the wall and onto the floor or bed. Out of their cage I could get them to step up and feed millet and they even walked around me. I can get them up on my finger and back into the cage though they usually try to fly off my finger and into the cage. :-(

One day, the female had feces on her and the misting wasn't helping. So I made a luke warm bath in our tub about an inch deep and after letting them get out of the cage, put them in my transport cage and into the bathroom. Then after some struggle, got them into the water. They just stood there shivering (it was warm in the bathroom) They walked around the tub. I sprinkled some water on them and they lowered their heads letting the water wash over them. Then the cutest thing happened, they snuggled up against my hand, climbed on and walked up my arm and into my hair. Pressed up against my neck. 

I have to know, why they would do that then and not any other time outside of the bathroom. And knowing this, any ideas on what I can do to encourage them to show affection without the bath. 

Thanks for your advice in advance


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## andy (Jul 31, 2013)

They were probably frightened. .next time you let them out put a play stand in the middle of the room to give them something welcoming to land on


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## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

Below are some tips on training, etc. I think if you want to bond with your tiels you should spend time with them every day, not just every few days.


Food Bribery - http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=28661

Taming lperry82 version - http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=22073

__________________


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## Elishiva (Aug 23, 2013)

Thank you both


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## ccollin13 (May 24, 2013)

When I adopted Ziggy, he hated being out of the cage, and was not hand tame. One thing that really helped was just sitting next to him. I would leave the door to his cage open, and just sit next to him doing my homework, or reading, or playing on the computer. I would play music, sing to him, and talk to him. Sometimes read poems to him  Eventually he came to the doorway to check things out.

Then I put a perch on the outside of the cage, next to my chair, and I got him to step up and sit on that perch. It wasn't long before he would come out and sit on that perch next to me. It took many months to get to the next step, holding him. Another few months to get him to stay with me. But now he's as social as can be and very tame.

I would definitely recommend food bribery, as the others have. I tried taking Ziggy into another room that he was not familiar with, away from his cage, so he couldn't get back. That was very UNHELPFUL. He just freaked out and was scared the whole time. So I recommend avoiding that - try to make progress in a space where they are comfortable, with objects that are familiar to them.

Patience is the key with taming all birds. My mom always says "all things bird take time" and it's especially true with rehomed birds. If you're persistent and do things at a pace they are comfortable with, you will make progress  Remember, it may be slow, but it's worth it!


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## dianne (Nov 27, 2013)

I agree with CCollin13 above:
"When I adopted Ziggy, he hated being out of the cage, and was not hand tame. One thing that really helped was just sitting next to him. I would leave the door to his cage open, and just sit next to him doing my homework, or reading, or playing on the computer. I would play music, sing to him, and talk to him. Sometimes read poems to him Eventually he came to the doorway to check things out.

"Then I put a perch on the outside of the cage, next to my chair, and I got him to step up and sit on that perch. It wasn't long before he would come out and sit on that perch next to me. It took many months to get to the next step, holding him. Another few months to get him to stay with me. But now he's as social as can be and very tame."

I did the same thing. I got a bendable perch and put it outside my bird's door, like a little porch, and turned the cage so the doorway and perch were near where I usually sat. He started coming out and sitting there, and that broke the ice for us.


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## goose'smom (Jan 1, 2014)

My first bird did not like me or want to come out of the cage either. They are unlike most small animals one would purchase as pet. They are very complex in their emotions and trust building. I do suggest spending as much time as you possibly can with them. Talk to them, feed them treats and most of all allow them to be themselves and don't push. Try taking a book or your computer into the room. Allow them some time to just watch and observe you while you do other things. It's amazing the curiosity that will breed in them. If you have to keep them in a separate room, try to spend a couple hours a day with them. If you are consistent and loving, they will start to trust you and want to spend time with you!!


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## Elishiva (Aug 23, 2013)

So what you are all saying is, they will eventually come to me when they are ready?
I am patient but I'm not sure how much I should do. I have no problem sitting outside of their cage. I was working from home today ccullin13 and had their cage right next to my desk. I opened all the doors and watched TV while I worked on my computer. They went to the perch closest to me and sat. I gave them some millet and then would do more work, then lift it back up to them. Sometimes they stayed and ate, other times they would 'run away'. The female climbed out and up on top of the cage and decided to take a little spin around the room. She ended up on the floor and chirping loudly at the male who chirped back. I went to her and she stepped up onto my hand... but as soon as I got to the cage she flew into it. Did not let me set her down. 

But if all I need to do is sit and wait and they will come to me, I can do that. I was just told by others to try to get them to step up on my finger each day. These are very timid birds who I feel never had any type of human contact other than to be fed and maybe their cage cleaned. 

I just don't want to mess up any opportunities.

If that makes any sense.

Thank you all again for responding. You give me hope!!!


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## Elishiva (Aug 23, 2013)

Oh and last night I bathed them after scrubbind down their cage and while they were drying, the male sat on my finger afterwards and stepped up several times. He did not try to get away. The female, sat on my shoulder and played with my earring.

I am hopeful


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## goose'smom (Jan 1, 2014)

This is all wonderful progress! Keep trying to feed them treats and allow them to step. I think the one thing that can cause a set back is grabbing them or making them do things. If you keep giving them opportunities to step up eventually they will bond with you. Their nature is very affectionate and communal. So in essence they want to be in community with you, it's just a matter of you being very consistent with your behaviors so they can trust you  you are doing great!


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## caterpillar (Oct 14, 2013)

Elishiva said:


> They just stood there shivering (it was warm in the bathroom) They walked around the tub. I sprinkled some water on them and they lowered their heads letting the water wash over them. Then the cutest thing happened, they snuggled up against my hand, climbed on and walked up my arm and into my hair. Pressed up against my neck.
> 
> I have to know, why they would do that then and not any other time outside of the bathroom. And knowing this, any ideas on what I can do to encourage them to show affection without the bath.
> 
> Thanks for your advice in advance


My birds don't particularly like me, but one time I gave them a bath and wasn't attuned to the fact that the warm water was running low. They got VERY cold and when I took them out they snuggled up against me and fell asleep. I normally would think this would be adorable, but I think they just wanted to warm up :-D

Yours sound like they are making good progress but I think when they were snuggling with you after their bath it was an anomaly...they may have been trying to get as warm as possible by getting close to the warm human!


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## Elishiva (Aug 23, 2013)

Just when I thought they liked me. I thought when the female was playing with my earring and the male was eating my hair, they were wanting to be close to me. Not a warm human. 

Thank you.


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## LoveMyCheerio (Mar 20, 2014)

Elishiva said:


> Just when I thought they liked me. I thought when the female was playing with my earring and the male was eating my hair, they were wanting to be close to me. Not a warm human.
> 
> Thank you.


Hey no! Don't get discouraged.  Listennn. 
It's great that they trust you enough to get close to you for comfort and warmth, that's better than being scared of you even then. And you said they were playing with your jewelry and hair! That's cute! Haha there is hope. You just need to have patience and not expect anything from them. The love will come if you keep giving them affection, doing things as a flock, and again, affection and time together. <3 Good luck!


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## eduardo (Jan 27, 2012)

Elishiva said:


> Just when I thought they liked me. I thought when the female was playing with my earring and the male was eating my hair, they were wanting to be close to me. Not a warm human.
> 
> Thank you.


Wait, wait, wait... First of all, if they didn't "like" you or were seeing you as a scary creature, they wouldn't be ON you. Please don't get discouraged so easily! You are doing GREAT!! Slowly but surely your birds are accepting you as part of their flock. I see that from all you have written so far  It just takes time to build a relationship, that's all. You will get to the point where you won't be able to get them off of your shoulder, trust me. Cockatiels, once they fully bond to their human, keep that bond and are very loyal.


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## Bagheera (Feb 27, 2014)

I am a new bird owner, we've had Tiki for going on two months now and when we first got him, he was hand friendly to the point where he would easily step up onto your fingers and climb across you and over to your shoulder and even my 6 yr old could easily get him to step up. However, Tiki would go nuts if we came at any other part of his body except his feet for him to step up. We were NOT in any way, shape or form allowed to touch him with our hands/fingers. I was sad about this and started asking questions around the site about it and eventually began to think that Tiki would never allow us to pet him. I was hoping that eventually he would let me give him scritches and cuddles, but all he would let me do was rub my face against him. I didn't give up though and began presenting my hand to him by putting my hand up real close to him and not moving it even when he pecked at it and hissed and made angry noises at it, eventually he got less and less angry when I would put my hand up at him and then the other day out of the blue he bowed his head to me and begged for head scritches. Today is day two of this new acceptance and I learned that he doesn't want to be touched for at least the first few hours out of his cage, but when he does want them he is relentless and begs for them constantly and sometimes when I stop petting he pecks my finger as if to tell me to keep petting or else. hehehe. I never gave up and never gave in and pushed him gently and slowly and eventually he let me pet him and now he loves it. So much has already changed in his behavior towards me, he now sings and chirps and chitters at me a lot more and is becoming more vocal. We have been having loads of conversations in "bird talk". 

Patience and Persistence are your two best friends when taming your bird. Never give in, never give up and never accept that they won't accept you. As long as you are loving, caring gentle and never give up on them, they will slowly begin to accept and trust you. they are flock creatures and will eventually accept you as part of your flock. If Tiki can accept my 6 and a half year old, noisy, bratty, pushy and sometimes not always nice little boy as part of his flock then your birds can accept you as part of theirs.


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## Elishiva (Aug 23, 2013)

Thank you everyone! I am working on that 'flock' technique.
They are with us in the living room during the weekends and in our bedroom with us when we sleep. During the day my husband and I have to go to work so no time with them then but as soon as I get home, I'm upstairs feeding and cleaning and chatting with them. Luna did not want to off the top the cage yesterday. I didn't have a choice but to continue to move my hand under her chest to get her to step up. I would get by her feet and say in a light happy voice, "Step up" and she would walk over my hand. Eventually, she stepped up and I would lift my hand up and keep saying "Step up" with alternating fingers till she was stepping up on each finger about 10 times. Then I took her to her cage and set her in there. Well not SET her in there but she leaped off my hand into her cage. They will sometimes let me put them in there and others they make a flying leap for it. All and all, I can tell they are not as apprehensive about me and that makes me a happy bird mommy.


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## Bagheera (Feb 27, 2014)

I think that they like you and you are doing great at building trust with them


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## Elishiva (Aug 23, 2013)

Bagheera said:


> I think that they like you and you are doing great at building trust with them


Thank you


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