# Help! Desperate! Dealing with an Alpha Male



## agent phil (Aug 19, 2012)

Hello! I found this forum site as a last resort, as I am very upset about my male cockatiel Agent Coulson (aka Phil...form the Avengers movie). 

I thought it would be great for my fiance and I to get a bird, as I owned a female cockatiel when I was younger and she was a close companion.We got phil 2-3 months ago from a shop that specifically raises birds. He was hatched there, and hand-fed. We got him at 4 months old, and he is now 6 months. His wings are clipped, he is fed the diet he was raised on, he has a cage with ladders and plenty of space (and no mirrors), gets covered up at night for 10 hours...

The concern comes with his behavior. He is very vocal, singing VERY loudly for up to an hour at a time. At first we thought he was looking for his flock, so we would call back but he literally just would screech over us! This screeching doesn't seem like normal singing to us.

Phil will also do what i think are "heart wings", where he will hop and put his wings up a little. The pet store owner said he is too young to be hormonal but he does that plus beak banging so I'm not sure.

The other concern is that he does NOT like us, either of us, at all. From the day we've gotten him he doesn't want any scritches, doesn't want to be picked up, held, stood next to, hand fed...nothing. He does like to hear me talk, and will fall asleep to it. But the second we try to approach him he will hiss and/or rapidly bite at us.

We returned to the bird shop with him and they gave him an "attitude adjustment", where we rescued him from them. They taught us to hold him in a towel close to us and pet him until he is calm. This works sort of because he eventually calms down and will let us pet him when he is in the towel, but the second we let go he flies away and goes right back to hissing and biting. 

We don't want to have to get rid of Phil, but we are running out of options and ideas on how to make him a less aggressive bird, and make him actually want to be near us. It's like getting our feelings hurt every day! Please, any advice would be helpful, as we just don't know what else to do.


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## Jony N Me (Sep 20, 2012)

Aww man. Im sorry to hear. Although my bird is only 4 months and can’t tell the sex yet, were pretty much positive its a girl from her characteristics and the fact she doesn’t make a peep unless we are holding her. Even then she just makes little chirps, squeels etc. shoot.. the loudest she ever is , is if shes pulling her own feathers and lets out a big squack because she pulls them too hard. As far as the vocal issues im afraid I would be no help as I have the complete opposite in my house. (not sure theres much you can change with a loud male bird)
As far as the temperament, I have heard boys go through a phase of nippy irritability but I am no pro. (Im a new bird owner myself) I do know that some birds take longer to come around then others. Are you trying a few times a day to get the bird to come to you , hang out with you etc? I know you don’t want to hear keep trying, but im sure the bird will come around. 

Now this may sound silly but at first when I got my bird she was very very hand tamed but when we got her home she did NOT want to come out of her cage. She would hiss and make a huge fuss. I was told never put your hand in and force them to come out (although I am guilty as charged doing that at first) it wasn’t working so I read up on clickers. Dog clickers. I went and got a not very loud one. I would take millet in my hand, and the clicker…. I would put the millet through the cage bars and when the bird would eat it, I would click the clicker. I would do this several times. Then when she would eat I would open the cage and do it that way… feed treat and click. Didn’t take long at all.. maybe a day if that for her to associate the food with the click sound. After that she would come on my hand. A couple days later she would come up to be by herself. After she trusted me and the children it was all over.. she comes up to us all the time, lets us scratch her head through the cage bars if shes in her cage, hangs out with us without flying or biting. ( she nips but not hard, just enough to tell us were making her annoyed) I understand that I was lucky in her coming around so fast, but maybe its worth a shot? It worked for us very well) just trying to think of different approaches you can try. I know when you find something that works IT WILL WORK for ya,  we just have to figure out what that is. I am sure you will get a lot of advice from the pros here when they read your post. Best of luck and please keep us posted.


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## lynzross (Apr 28, 2012)

We had a similar problem with our bird, it was really upsetting as the other two we had were so loving and wanting cuddling all the time. We went back to the pet shop and they also recommended forced holding (but I wouldn't do it in a towel I can imagine this is really scaring him) I know it's difficult as he will try to bite you.

I actually fell for another bird while I was there and when we brought him home he was very loving and wanted holding and perched on my shoulder and the other one started to copy him and perched on us also, he still doesn't like me picking him up although he will come to me and fall asleep on me, but he loves my daughter and goes to her every day and nuzzles her face and gets his scritting, although I realise you may not be able to have another bird, but don't give up on him.

As for the screeching, my two still do it every day, usually for a while after we come home or late afternoon at the weekends, I've tried to think of every reason I can come up with and all I can conclude is that they are just vocalizing and singing, I find whistling a tune helps as they try to copy it.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you.


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## bjknight93 (Nov 13, 2011)

I think Phil is very frightened right now. Some birds take a bit longer to adjust to their new homes than others. Holding him in a towel is forcing him to be with you. I suggest you change up your taming methods and go at his own pace. I am going to direct you to a couple of taming/bonding thread and also a thread on food bribery. If you have any questions about either of them you can ask them here. 

http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=22073
http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=33824 
http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=28661

Best of luck! 

P.S. The singing and flock calling are totally normal. It sounds like you've got a boy on your hands who may or may not be becoming hormonal (some birds are early bloomers). In addition to the taming/training you can also do some hormone reduction techniques to see if that will mellow him out.

http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=32330


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## Bird Junky (Jul 24, 2012)

Hi This info from my Training/Taming program may help....B.J. 

BRINGING HOME THE NEW BABY (BIRD)

Irrespective of what you have been told by the breeder or the pet shop, you have no idea how your new bird was treated prior to it being sold to you. 
This program has been written so that any new bird owner following it, will be able to bond with any bird be it part tame or completely wild. The only difference will be that the wild bird will need a little more time to achieve the same level of success 
NO fly time until step-up is learned, chasing & catching a bird can ruin any bond of trust built up between you & the bird.
Your birds future home should be made ready. In the cage provide a basic seed mix, water, iodine block & cuttlebone. To prevent further upset to an already stressed fearful new bird. The preferred type of both water & seed containers are the tube type, which can be refilled without opening the cage door. 
A minimum of half the cage should be covered with a dark towel. This will help your new bird bird to settle down & get used to his new surroundings. 
Birds also prefer a cage against a wall or better still in a corner of a room. After allowing a couple of days for your bird to settle down. Your ready for training.

A treat food is anything edible that the bird really enjoys other than the normal basic seed diet. If your bird bites or wont eat from your hands. Use tweezers or chop sticks. until he gets the idea that your visits mean nice things to eat. 
Gradually he will learn to take a treat food from your fingers through the bars. 
After a few days of practice you can move on to feeding him by hand inside the cage. 
When feeding inside the cage use a hanky fixed to the bar above the door with two clothes pegs to act as a safety curtain to prevent your bird escaping via the open door. Do this by offer him a favourite treat food by holding a small piece between your finger & thumb so your bird can reach it. If he appears in anyway disturbed. Remove your hand & allow him to calm down. 
Re-offer the treat, hold your hand still so he can eat. Remember offer it don't try to force it on him. If he doesn't eat withdraw & try again later, repeat until he eats. 
Keep trying, offer him different small treats as often as you can over the next few days. Your aim is to build up a strong bond of friendship & trust. 
After a day or two of successful hand feeding. Your bird should be ready for step-up.......B.J.


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## agent phil (Aug 19, 2012)

I've been wondering about the hormones, since he likes to call and loves strutting around making heart wings. What is odd is I'm not sure if he is afraid really, it seems like he is more grumpy. he will run away from us, turn his back to us half the time, and bites (but not as hard as possible). He also will step up, take millet out of our hands, etc about half the time. The other half he's mad again. I'm going to try some of the hormone reduction techniques as well as attempting the other exercises too. It just seemed like he was too young to be hormonal...?


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

They can get hormonal at a very early age, and I've heard of babies as young as 3 months mating with each other.

Some cockatiels are more social than others so it's possible that he's not very interested in humans. But cockatiels need to have a flock and if you don't have any other birds he will form a flock bond with you by default. 

There are a lot of people "out there" who recommend toweling a bird to tame it, but this is really a very aversive method. It teaches learned helplessness - that the bird can't resist your power so he may as well give up and submit to you. It's much much better to teach him to trust you, and to like you because good things happen when you're around. It might take some extra time to gain his trust because the toweling would have taught him some distrust. But if you consistently aim to do things that he likes and avoid doing things that he dislikes, he'll come around. There will be some times when you have to do things that he doesn't like of course, but if your relationship is mostly positive he will forgive you for the negative moments.


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## Yvonne (Oct 9, 2012)

I have a 5 month old tiel that does the heart wing and beak banging thing. In our case, he just wants more love. He paces and squawks. Have you tried just sitting with him on your shoulder. I personally would not towel any bird except in an emergency. Just keep working with him. It takes weeks or months sometimes to tame a tiel. Good luck!


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