# Problem keeping young cockatiels together?



## amandacv86 (Mar 1, 2013)

I have a 6 month old male Cockatiel with a 3 month old Female. The male has climbed on her back a few times like he is intending to mate. She has gotten in the mating position for a few second and pushes him off, but otherwise all is well. No vents touch. He sings to her all the time. I don't have a nest box on them nor do I intend to breed them until they're at least over a year old. Is this wrong to have them together until they're older?


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## Vickitiel (Oct 10, 2012)

Actually it's the opposite: you want them to be together and have lots of time to bond before you start breeding. You might need to do a bit of hormone control though to stop them mating if they keep trying to practice. Give them long nights in complete darkness (12 - 14 hours).


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## amandacv86 (Mar 1, 2013)

Thank you! A friend of mine is telling me I'm being mean and cruel keeping them together and that he is raping her... She's demanding that I separate them ASAP and she's considering ending our friendship if I don't listen to her. 

Is it any harm to the female if they mate as long as they don't produce eggs? If I did I wouldn't breed them til next fall or the next spring.


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## Vickitiel (Oct 10, 2012)

That's not true. They will only mate if the female gives consent. My male tried for ages to win Honey's trust, and eventually she asked him to mount her. He didn't rape her at all, it's entirely up to the female whether the mating happens or not -- the male can sing and show off all he likes but if the female doesn't like him, she won't let him anywhere near her. 

I don't see any harm to it. They need to learn how to mate properly first anyway; my pair still haven't got it quite right so I don't see any harm in letting them experiment.


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## amandacv86 (Mar 1, 2013)

Thanks again. Sorry I brought up my drama it's just she's supposed to be my really good friend, I felt like I was being attacked, and I'm sick with a cold and miserable right now as it is.


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## Vickitiel (Oct 10, 2012)

That's understandable. Don't let your friend make you feel guilty, you're not doing anything wrong.  I hope you feel better soon!


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

Here's information on hormone control if the situation starts to get out of hand: http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=32330 A little recreational sex isn't going to do any harm, but if they start doing it several times a day you need to take action.

It's possible for a male to step onto a female's back without permission if he does it when she's not paying attention (digging in a food cup for example) or if he gets her pinned in a corner. But he isn't going to stay there for more than half a second if she doesn't like it. A hen's back is slippery and all she has to do is move to make him fall off. I've seen hens knock their established mate off because he was standing in a position that was uncomfortable for the hen.


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## heade (Sep 10, 2013)

Hm, you know your friend may be confused with ducks. From the top of my head that species comes to mind...because I own them. I would show her this thread, if she still doesn't believe you---maybe try to find "reputable" sites that say the same thing. If she STILL isn't backing down and is even going SO FAR as to threaten a relationship---maybe that relationship isn't as important to her as it is to you. 

Don't ever let yourself be pushed around by others. Even if you HAD been wrong, she was out of line to threaten you with your friendship. You might have to examine your relationship with her after this. 

Just know that your babies are fine, and you did the right thing checking to make sure it was okay to have them together! It shows you really love them!


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

BTW it's standard for hens to make a little crying noise during mating. These are cries of pleasure, not pain or sorrow.

Edited to add: they make the same sound when they're masturbating, and they obviously wouldn't do that if they didn't like it. If you get on youtube and search for videos of cockatiels mating, you can hear the sound for yourself.


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## amandacv86 (Mar 1, 2013)

Thanks, everyone! Feeling much better today so far. I think she is mistaking breeding for mating. At this point I think she's looking for drama.

She started out attacking me suddenly. I take the best care I can of my animals. She knows this. That's what hurts the most. Now apparently I'm in a bad mood for no reason and she's twisting it around to be my fault. I've only been defending myself and pointing out her rudeness this whole time.

I need an outsiders opinion on something. Me and this friend are trading cockatiel babies because we both have more males than females and would like to even it out. She got hers two weeks ago and she hasn't have any more babies. She has some 1 week olds and I'm supposed to get one at 3-4 weeks to hand feed(I know how)... I'm considering asking for mine back and cutting off all ties with her. Do you think that's wrong?

They did it again as I was typing. She got into position and he got on top of her and tried to get into position before he fell off.


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## Vickitiel (Oct 10, 2012)

heade said:


> Hm, you know your friend may be confused with ducks. From the top of my head that species comes to mind


I was thinking the same thing. Male ducks can gang-rape females and even kill them.


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

> I'm considering asking for mine back and cutting off all ties with her. Do you think that's wrong?


It's not wrong, but you'll have to think about what you'll do if she refuses to give the babies back. It's possible that the two of you were in a bad mood at the same time and that's what caused all the drama, so you might want to wait a little while to see if she starts behaving better.


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

P.S. Does she act like this a lot? If she does, then maybe you're better off not having her as a friend. If she doesn't, then maybe you should wait a little while for her to get back to normal and then ask what happened to make her start acting weird.


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## Haimovfids (Sep 19, 2012)

I dont think a true friend would threaten a relationship like that!
I agree with tielfan, if she is always like this then I wouldn't be her friend


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## Fredandiris (Nov 27, 2012)

About your male falling off, he might need a little more practice. Or he could watch other pairs mating to see what that's like. I've been trying to get my guy to watch his parents do it (that sounds so wrong but I want him to get it right early, saves on the stress). He gets reeeeal interested and ends up making them stop. I think that's how most birds learn, although I'm not sure how my male learned how to do it.


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

> I'm considering asking for mine back and cutting off all ties with her. Do you think that's wrong?


That is completely up to you. If you don't feel comfortable with her having your babies, you could ask for them back but I very much doubt that you'll be able to actually get them back if she's acting this way. Did the two of you put anything in writing about this exchange?

As to the mating, it happens. They're still very young so they probably wont figure it out right away. I'd start them on the hormone reduction now so that way they can focus on bonding more than mating. In the tiel world, hens pick the mate, so if she's accepting him stepping on her, then she's not feeling forced. Its not like you're holding her down and making her mate with him.


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## amandacv86 (Mar 1, 2013)

At this point it is resolved, but I'm going to be careful. I ended up turning my phone off most of the day and just disconnecting from her for a while. She sent me several text messages, called me, emailed, FB messaged, and called my google voice number trying to get ahold of me. I feel bad for not replying but I just needed some time to myself. I think we both had a more level head this morning. 

She doesn't act like this frequently but I've heard some rumors about her. I know she takes good care of her birds, though. I hope I don't end up regretting this trade. 

I'm thinking I'll head to the thrift store and find a thin blanket and a cute sheet to make a cage cover for them.


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

Maybe the best course at this point would be to see this trade through to the end, since it might cause another blowup if you try to get out of it, and then not make any more trades in the future unless you get delivery of your bird at the same time she gets hers.


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

I don't have anything to add, really, but I'm trying to figure out why somebody who breeds cockatiels would be so uneducated about their mating practices and sexual habits. 
(Or, why someone so uneducated is breeding cockatiels. Whichever way you want to phrase it.)


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## amandacv86 (Mar 1, 2013)

Yes I agree I'm going to see it through to the end. I am going to distance myself from her a little after this, though. 

To be honest I never thought I had to separate them even when she told me that. Just wanted to verify by asking here.

I know you're not supposed to breed(as in to make babies)until at least 1 year-18 months is better. I think she thought by saying mating they were actually breeding. Right now I'm just keeping them in the same cage. They are showing no signs of actually wanting to lay eggs.


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## amandacv86 (Mar 1, 2013)

This baby bird is so confusing. LOL I thought for sure it was a female because of how much Dexter sings to her, then this morning when I was changing their food and water she was whistling, Like baby "Tweet-tweets", if that makes sense. This is the same "female" from before, 3 months old. Then again, she did make female mating noises and got into position day before yeterday.

Just wondering what you guys think? Here are the wing spots:










Best picture I could get. 

TY for any advice.


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

The wing spots say "male" but don't take it too seriously. This year I had three guaranteed-female babies whose wing spots said male.


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## Vickitiel (Oct 10, 2012)

Wingspots are not an accurate way to determine sex.


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## amandacv86 (Mar 1, 2013)

Thank you! This is what I was going from:

http://www.internationalcockatielresource.com/sexing-cockatiels.html

I hope it's still a girl!


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