# My cockatiel HATES me



## Kiral

I've only had her a few days, but I really feel like she hates me!

At the pet shop she seemed friendly and even jumped up on my finger through the cage (shes handreared so she wasnt afraid at all)

but when I brought her home, while shed happily stand on my fingers, she wouldnt accept food from me  and I thought birds would always do that, all my others did. 

She still wont take food from me, and hissed at me today when I went to take her out and acted so aggressive, stretching out her wings at me and acting threateningly! 

What can I do to make things better? She hates when anyone touches her, strokes her or even tickles her neck. 

I've never had a bird hate that before, and I just dont understand why shes being like this


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## tielfan

At the pet shop she was in familiar territory and felt pretty comfortable. Now she's in a strange new place and she's afraid. You need to go slow and give her time to adjust, and not put a lot of pressure on her to do things that she doesn't want to do. She'll be friendlier when she has learned to trust you more but you have to go at her pace - forcing things won't get you there.


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## Siobhan

You have to wait for a tiel to ASK for a scritch or they get mad. Remember they're prey animals, and always on alert. If she feels uncomfortable, or hears or sees something she doesn't recognize, she's going to be nervous and not want a scritch because it would distract her from being on the alert. Give her time to get used to you and your house and the sounds and sights and smells. 

Most tiels don't like to be stroked. Freddie will let me kiss his back sometimes, but he does NOT like to be petted there. I can only scritch and then only when he asks. When they want a scritch, they drop their head down and then you should rub the back of her head and neck. When she wants you to stop, she'll raise her head back up and maybe peck you. Eventually, you'll learn when to stop before she has to peck you. LOL

As for the food, she may not know what you're offering is food. Freddie will only take something from me that he recognizes and it takes a while for him to do that. He has to look it over and think about it first and sometimes he has to whistle at it for a few minutes, too. 

If you tried to take her out when she was busy or if she didn't see you coming, that's why she hissed. If you were looming over her, it probably frightened her. Try squatting so you're on eye level with her and speak to her softly and see if she won't come closer and change her mind. 

She doesn't hate you. She's just nervous and scared and trying to figure out why her whole world has changed.


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## tielmom

I agree whole heartedly with tiel fan and siobhan...let your tiel adjust to it's new home and the routine if your household. I felt the same way about the two birds I rescued...one was on deaths door and felt he should be extremely thankful for all I have done for him...he hardly ever lets me hold him and if he does, it is only for a minute or two and then he either bites me or flies back to his cage...but let me tell you, there is hope... Today he let my daughter and then myself scritch his neck and head and I wanted to cry...he kept putting his head down and let us for a good 20 minutes off and on hold him and scritch him...your tiel will come around...just continue to be very loving and sit next to him and just talk and sing and one day SOON your tiel will be begging for you to play with him. Good luck


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## miken77

Another thing worth a try- I assume your home is quiet compared to the pet shop? When they go from a consistently noisy environment to a quiet one, they are constantly on alert as if there's a predator around. Try leaving a radio or tv on within earshot of the bird. It may help her get settled a bit.


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## Cassie

Tielmom, how long did it take for that to happen? I've had one of my new ones for approximately 2 months and he still doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. If I'm using the computer he'll sit on my shoulder but I'm never allowed to touch him. I'm wondering if he just needs more time.


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## birdluv

With my tiel Jubejube. l have had her for one year now and just recently a few weeks ago. She allows me to give her scritches but before she would never let me touch her except to go on my sholders.


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## Kiral

wow guys, thanks so much! Ive noticed shes better already

everything your saying makes total sense now, but I couldnt understand why she was so hot and cold before reading this! Thanks to everyone who posted!

x x x


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## tielmom

Hi...we have had him 5 weeks...he is hot and cold too. Sometimes you put your arm up to him and he jumps right on and then other times he will lunge at you. Sometimes I will be whistling and singing and he starts chirping and then whistling and other times he is quiet and seems to totally ignore me. There are times he is sweet, like he sometimes puts the top of his head against my cheek and turns it so sweetly to look at me and does it for 5 minutes and then my heart just melts and then two seconds later he bites at me
I agree that whistling while around her will work, it just takes time. She will eventually see you as a flock friend and then it all changes. One of my tiels is a girl and I have had her for 1 1/2 years...she is the sweetest, most loving bird I have ever owned, but she dud not come to me that way...it took a few months of clicker training. Now I can call to her and she chirps back to me and if I am in her vision she will fly to me don't give up...she WILL come around...if she is the one in your profie...she is beautiful.


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