# "Misunderstood" male



## anoshapakniat (Feb 5, 2015)

Hi everyone, 

I'm looking for some help when it comes to my male and getting him to stop attacking me. Sorry this is long, bear with me.

Here's a back story on him: my ex and I adopted Spike about 2 and a half years ago because I had another male who had passed away and we were worried that my female would get depressed and stop eating. We got him about 4 months after Gaspacho [my first male] died so Maryanne [my female] had some time to adjust to not having Gaspacho. We adopted Spike from a bird sanctuary. He had been in a trio but 2 out of the 3 bonded to each other, essentially leaving spike to be alone. Seeing as the sanctuary had many larger birds, Spike didn't get as much attention so he wasn't as hand trained as we were hoping when we got him.

From the beginning, he was weary of us and would always nip at your hand if you were tried to pick him up. Not hard but just as a warning I guess. When we brought him home and the minute he saw Maryanne he fell in love with her  Literally. It was adorable haha anyways, he ended up bonding a bit more with my ex. We eventually broke up but we'd still swap the birds so they can still spend time with him. I'm not heartless and I know how much Spike adored my ex. 

So the problem I've been having is ever since we broke up, Spike has gradually gotten more and more mean. At first I figured it was because he missed my ex but I've started to realize it's because Maryanne is Bonded to me while Spike is very much so bonded to her. It's to the point where I can't walk passed the cage without him trying to bite me hard. Hard enough to draw blood EVERY time. He bites other people but he bites me the hardest and i don't know what to do. 

I've tried putting them in separate cages to try and get some space between them but then Spike only becomes concerned with what Maryanne is doing and will scream for her nonstop if they're in separate rooms. But if I leave them together, he follows so close to her and tries to regulate what she's doing, that it leads to her getting annoyed and them fighting. 

I want to have a relationship with him and I want him to have a healthy relationship with Maryanne. I don't want Maryanne to live her life and feel as though she's stuck with another bird that she can't stand and I also don't want Spike to feel that I favor her. The most advice I got from a different bird expert was, "he's basically an angsty teenager with a hard on who likes boys and will never like you." -_- so I'm hoping to get more help than that. 

Again, Sorry this is so long. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you! 

-Anosha


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## vampiric_conure (Jul 8, 2012)

What a tough situation! I apologize if you've already tried the following - Have you tried keeping them in separate cages but keeping their cages together in the same room so they can see each other? Might help with the screaming. 


Here's hoping that someone will have something more constructive to suggest, LOL.


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## Kiwi (May 12, 2013)

Have you tried playing with both at the same time or having them both out near you? Then they both have someone they are comfortable with and everyone might be able to tolerate each other better. Maybe a big millet sprig to make everyone happy when they are out?

VC has a really good one, it is suggested in hormonal birds to be in separate cages but near each other so they can see the other. Like a foot away or so is ok. It might also help Maryanne get used to him without him being glued to her. Maybe once he isn't glue she will tolerate him more.

You may also want to check out hormone reduction for Spike. I don't know if that frustration is also hormones that are making him nippy: 
http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=32330


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