# Difficulty bonding with cockatiel - situation getting worse..



## ninjanicole (Nov 2, 2011)

I got my male cockatiel MoMo from a breeder in december last year. I have had cockatiels growing up and we had always found it really easy to tame them and teach them to talk and not to bite etc but i am having a lot of trouble with MoMo. 
He steps up onto my hand/finger easily, and just loves being around me and my family and will fly to any of us whenever he is out of his cage. He is a great whistler/singer and picks up new things really easily. However, he will not be touched and since the moment we brought him home the hand is the enemy, and more recently, my ear/head/face is also the enemy. 
His wings had grown out and he got really bold, bossy and aggressive. We successfully had them trimmed and he is less aggressive but now more fearful.
For example this morning: I opened his cage and he stepped up onto my hand and immediately walked up to my shoulder. I turned to look at him and talked to him and he attacked my face (not playfully, seriously). Usually when he does this i put him straight back in but that hasn't been working so i left him there. 
I sat down to eat my breakfast and had a little bit of multigrain toast crust aside for him to nibble on. He walked down my arm nibbled on his toast and then started viciously attacking my hand, which wasn't moving at all. I didn't flinch but he kept it up. Walked up my shoulder and did the same thing to my ear/neck.

I am losing patience.. i feel like i must be doing something wrong but i can't work out what it is and i think maybe it would be better for him if i found someone else to look after him..
An advice would be very appreciated!


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## lordsnipe (Nov 11, 2010)

Biting and bonding are separate things .. birds bonded to each other will bite each other, and humans are treated no different. It's their way of telling one another to move, that they don't want to move or they are too close to their personal space.

My hand tame birds will sometimes bite (sometimes hard, most of the time it's a soft "warning" nibble) when provoked, or when they are relaxed and don't want to move. It's just their way of communicating and if the biting is too much for you to handle, I suggest using a short piece of dowel as a perch, so MoMo can attack and bite it all he wants without hurting anyone. 

It seems like he knows hands aren't the enemy if he steps up, but you could possibly do some trust exercises using millet spray and/or sunflower seeds (or any seeds he likes). Handfeeding is good for any bird as an introduction to hands.

As for touching, this is largely dependant on the bird, but most I've had do not like to be touched on their back/wings. You will have better luck with a handraised bird who has been touched on its back for most of its life, but chances are, a breeder will not have the time to do this for all birds. All tame cockatiels I've had will love a good headscratch though, but only after they've learnt that your hands are not an enemy.


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## morla (Aug 15, 2011)

Keep up with the good work! You'll get there!


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## chloe92us (Jul 12, 2011)

I was just reading on another thread that tiels go through an "I hate you" phase around 7-8 months old, especially males. Sounds like yours might be going through his hormonal phase...it will pass.


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## ninjanicole (Nov 2, 2011)

I hope so!

Can someone please tell me, what is the appropriate response when he bites my face? Unfortunately my automatic reaction is to put my hand to my face to protect it, which he of course interprets as an attack. I can mostly ignore him when he does it but sometimes he gets a particularly sensitive spot and i can't let him continue. 

When i get him out of the cage, what are some fun, interesting things we can do? 

He doesn't actually like many treats, if i hold some millet up he either runs away or attacks it and he won't eat apple or any other foods unless i eat the other end.. lol which makes training hard.. 

Thanks everyone for your responses!


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

If possible, keep your face out of biting range until he has settled down and stopped biting so much.

Does he have a mirror in his cage? Mirrors can be a cause of aggression in some birds because it gets their hormones all stirred up. If there's a mirror in the cage, take it out and turn the mirror into his reward for behaving well - he gets to look at it while you hold it in your hand, and if he's naughty the mirror disappears. If he doesn't currently have a mirror but likes them, you can still use a mirror for outside-the-cage rewards. 

Mirror or not, it might be helpful to use hormone reduction techniques. It's springtime in Australia so he's probably hormonal, and that might be the reason for a lot of the aggression. The long nights treatment (12-14 hours of uninterrupted darkness every night for at least a week) is usually the most effective, but other techniques are discussed at http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=2678


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