# Seriously considering rehoming... please read.



## Amz (Apr 10, 2013)

Okay guys, bear with me because I'm a bit of a mess right now.

I haven't really talked much about it on here because I didn't think it was bad enough to consider a rehome. But Rocko is just... not happy. At all. He's aggressive and mean and clearly afraid of me. For whatever reason, because I have no idea what I did to make him feel so afraid. But it's really just not in his best interest to live with me and my family anymore.

It's really amazing the hoops I jump through every single day with him. If I try to get him out of the cage, he bites. If I try to put him in the cage, he bites. If I try to offer him food, he bites. Heck, if I even walk up to him, he hisses and lunges. He hates me. I don't know why, but he does. At night, when I try to put him up for bed, he tries to attack me and then flies away in fear, which commences a 10-20 minute period of me walking back and forth, back and forth in my room as he flies from the curtain rod to his play stand, screaming at the top of his lungs the entire time. Make no mistake, this is with completely calm, nonaggressive behavior from me. I walk slowly, make slow movements, speak to him very low and soft, blink a lot instead of staring. I just don't get it.

And it's _so upsetting_ for me. I'm sitting here crying while typing this up. Because I don't want to rehome him. I don't want to have to rehome him. I love him, I care about him, I really do. I wish he wasn't like this. I do my best for him but it isn't enough. I don't think it helps that we have majorly nonmatching personalities, and that he chose to bond with my mom instead of me, when my mom doesn't even like birds.

But I really, truly believe that he's like this because he spends seven or more hours alone per day. He is truly not able to be a single bird, and unfortunately, I can't offer him anything better. My parents didn't want a bird in the first place, so obviously another is out of the question. When my mom and I talked this over about an hour ago, she acted like she would consider another bird because it's obviously what he needs. But it's not what I need. I'm going to college soon and god knows how Rocko will react to that, picking up and moving an hour and a half away. I'll have to hold a job on top of school so that means even more time alone for him. It's not fair of me to drag him along for the next five years, which is the point where it would first be possible to get another bird. _Possible_, not probable. There's no guarantee I would get another bird for even the next ten years, depending on how life goes and how the chips fall. And at this point, I'd be getting another bird for him, not for me, because I'm too terrified of this happening again.

Okay, I'm rambling. I'm sorry.

*TL;DR - Rocko is seriously unhappy and it's because he spends too much time alone and isn't closely bonded enough to me to make up for that. I am very seriously considering rehoming him because I know it's what's best for him.*

I would really, really prefer he goes to one of you guys. I don't trust anyone in this area. Here's the rundown:

- He CANNOT be a single bird. Period. Giving him to someone where he'd be a single bird would be so counterproductive, at that point he may as well just stay here. I'd even be hesitant to give him to someone who only has one bird currently, as there's no guarantee they would bond or even tolerate each other, and then he may as well be a single bird. He needs reliable interaction. *An aviary with multiple birds would be absolutely ideal.* I feel it would be perfect for him.

- He is very, very skittish. There's no understating that, seriously. He's afraid of the dumbest stuff. Total scaredy bird. In fact, he may be afraid of an aviary at first, but I think he'd warm up to the idea pretty quick.

- If he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you. No amount of offering him treats or trying to train him to like you will work. He's a stubborn little dude.

- On that note, he will tolerate hands (if he likes you, he doesn't mind hands at all, really) with a few stipulations. The later it is in the day, the less he likes messed with. By nighttime he will guaranteed 100% hiss and lunge and bite if you try to do anything to him, even offer him a treat. Don't mess with him while he's trying to woo his current object of affection, whether that be a mirror or sock or whatever it may be that day. You will get bit. He's also recently learned to hop on shoulders and attack the face and ear when he gets mad.

- You can try with fruits and vegetables, but it almost never happens. He's too afraid of them. Even if you can get him to eat and enjoy one, he most likely won't remember what it is the next day, or that he liked it the previous day. He does love birdy bread though.

- He is currently clipped, because he turns into a big fat grumpypants (yes, even moreso than normal) when he's fully flighted. He's a very strong flyer and has no problems flying with a full clip, so don't be afraid to tell me you'd clip him. In an aviary, however, I don't think he'd have as many attitude problems with full flights. But there's no way for me to know for sure, it'd all just be trial and error.

So, uh... that's all I can think of for now. God, this is hard. And embarrassing. I feel embarrassed posting this right now. I made a commitment to him, and I feel I'm copping out on it...

I guess just post if you think you could offer him a good home. I know it's a long shot. Oh, and any and all shipping would be on my dime. All of his toys, food, treats, and supplies can come with, even his small travel cage and small (like 15x15") playstand.

Thanks guys.


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## Haimovfids (Sep 19, 2012)

I have an aviary but i live too far away. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry your going through a rough time. Hope for the best with you guys. I have a girl in my flock that is much worse than Rocko. I can say that aviaries make them calmer, but don't fully help with taming. I don't think my Cloudia will ever be tame with people but i love her regardless.


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## CaliTiels (Oct 18, 2012)

Lexi, if it makes you feel any better, know that Rocko is always welcome with me and my boys. I would consider having him if you are sure you want to go through with this


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## Amz (Apr 10, 2013)

Haimovfids said:


> I have an aviary but i live too far away. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry your going through a rough time. Hope for the best with you guys. I have a girl in my flock that is much worse than Rocko. I can say that aviaries make them calmer, but don't fully help with taming. I don't think my Cloudia will ever be tame with people but i love her regardless.


I guess I should've been more clear when I mentioned shipping - I wasn't just talking about the supplies lol. I will most likely be shipping him via airplane before this is all said and done, if we end up rehoming.

Yeah, that's the hard part. It's totally okay to have a bird that doesn't really mesh with people, but not when they're a single bird living in a cage inside a house. He's like a fish out of water. The lifestyle he has with me is not the type of life that he thrives in. Quite the opposite, like I mentioned, because I think he's rather depressed. :/



CaliTiels said:


> Lexi, if it makes you feel any better, know that Rocko is always welcome with me and my boys. I would consider having him if you are sure you want to go through with this


I would definitely feel comfortable if he went to you. I trust more or less everybody on this forum, because anyone who frequents here cares enough about their bird(s)'s health to browse a forum. I'll keep you in mind, and if no other/better options arise (not saying you're a bad option by any means lol) we can discuss it more.


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

Haimovfids said:


> I have an aviary but i live too far away.


I am sure he could easily be shipped to Florida...Delta and United have special pet shipping programs. The birds travel in cargo in climate-controlled areas, and you simply go to the nearest airport to pick them up. I have done it a few times, and it all went pretty smoothly.  In fact, Astrid is going to a new home on Monday and flying from Portland (Oregon) to Chicago.




CaliTiels said:


> Lexi, if it makes you feel any better, know that Rocko is always welcome with me and my boys. I would consider having him if you are sure you want to go through with this


That is awesome of you to offer...I bet he would be happy with you!


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## vampiric_conure (Jul 8, 2012)

**Hugs** Re-homing is always a tough decision. Hope you can find a good home for Rocko


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## Kiwi (May 12, 2013)

I am so sorry that you might have to re-home Rocko... I might consider him as I am in Minnesota. I have been thinking if Kiwi might like a playmate. I have to talk to my family about it though. Of course I don't have an aviary so I would also want him to go to a bigger place if he can.

If you do re-home I would go with United... Delta lately hasn't had the best track record with animal handling. Read about how a crate wasn't secured. ...

Edit: Actually United didn't have the best either. I'm sorry T_T


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## Lulu-Tiel (Jun 3, 2012)

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. ((Hugs)) from myself and the gang!


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## Hellena (Feb 11, 2013)

Sorry you have this dilemma, it's never easy to rehome a pet. It sounds like Rocko would do well as a fully flighted bird in an aviary. I'm sure someone on here that has one would be willing to take him. I have a feeling he will go to a good home and be happy in the long run, and you will be happy for him. Then when the time is right you can get a tiel that you are able to bond with and have a loving relationship. It will work out.


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## Tisena (Sep 28, 2013)

I'd gladly have him if I wasn't over the pond, hope you find the perfect place for him if you have to and at least with him being with someone on here you'd be able to keep up to date on him or if they're close enough maybe visit him?  I know I don't have an aviary but I have 4 tiels so far


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## TamaMoo (Jan 12, 2014)

Never feel embarrassed for sharing this story. You made a commitment to him, yes. Part of that commitment is doing what you feel is best for him, no matter what. Seeing that he is happy, even if it breaks your heart to let go, shows you are thinking of him and his best interests. 

I know your heart is breaking, and my heart aches for you. Allow yourself time to think and decide. It is clear you love him and want the best for him.


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## Amz (Apr 10, 2013)

Thanks to everyone for your kind words. I appreciate you being here for me.

Rocko is acting weird this morning. Almost like he knows.


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## TamaMoo (Jan 12, 2014)

I think they do sense our moods. Be gentle with yourself.


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## blueybluesky (Jul 9, 2013)

I'm really sorry you may be rehoming him, you've clearly put a lot of thought into what sort of environment will suit him best and I know how much you love him, sometimes the best thing to do for them is always the hardest. If I weren't so far away he would have been welcome in my flock.


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## Amz (Apr 10, 2013)

blueybluesky said:


> I'm really sorry you may be rehoming him, you've clearly put a lot of thought into what sort of environment will suit him best and I know how much you love him, sometimes the best thing to do for them is always the hardest. If I weren't so far away he would have been welcome in my flock.


You were actually the first person I thought of, because you've got such a rockin' aviary, but then I remembered you live in Australia.


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## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

It sounds like you have some great options if you do decide to rehome. Refresh my memory though, how old is Rocko? Could it be that he's just entering those bratty "teenage" years and it really has nothing to do with him being unhappy- just hormones? Just a thought. Hugs.


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## Kiwi (May 12, 2013)

That's true maybe it could be something a radio or Tv time while you are gone can help fix a bit. When I don't spend enough time with Kiwi she gets all hormonal and hisses and bites. I'm way used to aggressive behavior. I kind of play along when she is like that because her bites don't hurt. It's just the rapid fire bite technique on my fingers, ear, or nose. I think it's kind of cute for some reason and helps get her aggression out, but once it starts hurting I stop letting her do that. :lol:
I also let her fly around a lot if she wants to help with the energy level. Having enough time to let them fly is key.


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## Amz (Apr 10, 2013)

sunnysmom said:


> It sounds like you have some great options if you do decide to rehome. Refresh my memory though, how old is Rocko? Could it be that he's just entering those bratty "teenage" years and it really has nothing to do with him being unhappy- just hormones? Just a thought. Hugs.


I do actually have one person in particular that's considering him right now, so I'm hoping that option goes smoothly. Rocko is about 2 and a half years old. I would think it could be his teenager years, but he went through a stage about 8 or 10 months ago when he was worse than he is now, so I think that was his teenage stage.



Kiwi said:


> That's true maybe it could be something a radio or Tv time while you are gone can help fix a bit. When I don't spend enough time with Kiwi she gets all hormonal and hisses and bites. I'm way used to aggressive behavior. I kind of play along when she is like that because her bites don't hurt. It's just the rapid fire bite technique on my fingers, ear, or nose. I think it's kind of cute for some reason and helps get her aggression out, but once it starts hurting I stop letting her do that. :lol:
> I also let her fly around a lot if she wants to help with the energy level. Having enough time to let them fly is key.


I try to give him lots of time to fly. When he goes in the living room with me and my family, he gets on top of the grandfather clock and flies from it to the TV, back and forth and all around the room.


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## blueybluesky (Jul 9, 2013)

Some times it's a pain being in a different country than most of you guys  I hope everything works out


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## Kiwi (May 12, 2013)

I hope that Rocko can find a good home with the person you are considering if Rocko's behavior doesn't turn around. 

Kiwi also likes to fly around the living room where everyone is. She likes perching on the stair railing, she'll just sit there and poop. It's on of her favorite spots to do that at. I think she just likes making more messes that I have to clean up! :lol:

Maybe try acting the way your mom does around Rocko? How does she approach him and such? Does she gently talk to him, does she ignore him and let him come to her? Like for me how I got Kiwi to like my family more is I corrected my family's mistakes when approaching Kiwi based on reading her body language. Since I knew Kiwi hated fast movements based on many many bites to my hands, I told them to go very slowly. If she would hiss and lunge when someone's hand got to close I would say to just leave it at that distance for a while and see if Kiwi would come closer. Eventually after a few weeks she did and would step on my brother's hand.


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## Nimra (Aug 4, 2014)

How about buying a new female? Cookie was aggressive with me until I bought the female. If you buy a trained female that is even better. My female was sweet and she started eating seeds on the third day of training. So cookie started to copy her. I think this method will work.


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## Amz (Apr 10, 2013)

Nimra said:


> How about buying a new female? Cookie was aggressive with me until I bought the female. If you buy a trained female that is even better. My female was sweet and she started eating seeds on the third day of training. So cookie started to copy her. I think this method will work.


Well, there's a few issues with getting another bird, as I went over in my first post.

1) Rule #1 of birds: NEVER buy another bird for your bird. You only buy another bird for yourself.
2) My parents don't want another bird.
3) I don't want another bird.
4) If they don't bond, or even worse, they hate each other, then what? I'd be stuck with the same problem but times two.
5) What if they DID bond, and they started laying eggs? I don't want to handle the whole breeding thing, not to mention the risk of overlaying and then the risk of egg binding.
6) If they did bond, chances are they would both dislike me and then things would be even worse.
7) One other reason for all this is that I'm going to college soon. The current life that I have is unfair to any bird, not just my own. Why would I bring another bird into that? It'd be cruel.
8) I don't have the money for vet bills for two birds. I barely have the money for one.

I could go on, but I'm not going to. I'm glad that getting another bird worked for you, and thank you for trying to be helpful. But just because it worked for you, it's not the perfect solution for everyone.


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## dianne (Nov 27, 2013)

I think you are being very clear headed about the suggestion that you get another bird. Good for you!


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## Nimra (Aug 4, 2014)

Excuse me, but I was trying to help. Your last line was quite rude. I tried to help. You didn't have to tell me all those points and useless stuff, you could have simply said that you can't do it. And even Dianne joined. You guys only point out my mistakes. What about others? In some other thread you guys made such a big fuss when I accidently wrote a bad word. I am either leaving talk cockatiels or I will stay if you guys apologize. I get it, you are frustrated but then you can't be so harsh on me. I don't want to fight but just because I am the littlest one here doesn't mean I am the most dumbest one.


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## Nimra (Aug 4, 2014)

And I can understand that you think my advice was totally helpless and dumb, so no need to write thankyou


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## Amz (Apr 10, 2013)

Nimra said:


> Excuse me, but I was trying to help. Your last line was quite rude. I tried to help. You didn't have to tell me all those points and useless stuff, you could have simply said that you can't do it. And even Dianne joined. You guys only point out my mistakes. What about others? In some other thread you guys made such a big fuss when I accidently wrote a bad word. I am either leaving talk cockatiels or I will stay if you guys apologize. I get it, you are frustrated but then you can't be so harsh on me. I don't want to fight but just because I am the littlest one here doesn't mean I am the most dumbest one.


I apologize if it came off as rude, I didn't mean the end to sound sarcastic. I was genuinely thanking you for your attempts to help. However, I did go over all of that in my first post, so the frustration in my reply was influenced by the fact that you offered a solution that I went over in detail about why it won't work.

As for those other threads, I wasn't even there for those... Also, Dianne was only congratulating me on knowing what's best for my situation, and not jumping for what would seem like the easiest solution (and by that I mean it would be easier to try and get another bird before rehoming Rocko). I'm sure she meant no malice, as well.


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

Nimra said:


> Excuse me, but I was trying to help. Your last line was quite rude. I tried to help. You didn't have to tell me all those points and useless stuff, you could have simply said that you can't do it. And even Dianne joined. You guys only point out my mistakes. What about others? In some other thread you guys made such a big fuss when I accidently wrote a bad word. I am either leaving talk cockatiels or I will stay if you guys apologize. I get it, you are frustrated but then you can't be so harsh on me. I don't want to fight but just because I am the littlest one here doesn't mean I am the most dumbest one.





Nimra said:


> And I can understand that you think my advice was totally helpless and dumb, so no need to write thankyou


Nimra, I mean no offense at all, but please try to calm down and think about things before you type, okay? Nobody was calling you dumb at all. You are way too sensitive and take things much too personally. I know you are young and I can relate to being easily hurt by things, but if you are that defensive over every tiny little bit of constructive criticism or disagreement, it's really not good for being on forums. People are VERY nice here, and if you're constantly getting offended then I think you need to lighten up a little and take some time to consider what people were trying to say before posting an angry rant. It's very tiresome to have to read through those.


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## northernfog (Dec 14, 2010)

How's everything with Rocko? I'm so interested to know who is getting him and how he'll addapt to his new home and friends!


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## Nimra (Aug 4, 2014)

moonchild said:


> Nimra, I mean no offense at all, but please try to calm down and think about things before you type, okay? Nobody was calling you dumb at all. You are way too sensitive and take things much too personally. I know you are young and I can relate to being easily hurt by things, but if you are that defensive over every tiny little bit of constructive criticism or disagreement, it's really not good for being on forums. People are VERY nice here, and if you're constantly getting offended then I think you need to lighten up a little and take some time to consider what people were trying to say before posting an angry rant. It's very tiresome to have to read through those.


Yes you are probably right. I suck a bit too much, don't I? Oh well, sorry for that. But i never said i want people to start giving me lectures. I go to a school where i learn enough. So i hope nobody else is going to join you from now onwards. Now i am sick of fighting with users and i want to stop so end of this story. And thankyou amz for your apology and now i uderstand you clearly.


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## Amz (Apr 10, 2013)

northernfog said:


> How's everything with Rocko? I'm so interested to know who is getting him and how he'll addapt to his new home and friends!


Very sweet of you to think of us and check up - thank you. 

I was waiting until things became more definite before I posted an update, but I suppose it can slip through now.  I've been in contact with a potential owner and it's looking very, very likely that it's where he'll be going. Replies have been sparse because she's kept fairly busy with her job, but that's okay.  This is the same home that moonchild's Astrid went to, so not only will he have a friend, we may hear updates from her right here on TC from time to time, as she's a member here.


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## Haimovfids (Sep 19, 2012)

Im going to miss Rocko. Are you going to leave bird forums? I don't know about other people but your posts really cheer me up.


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## Amz (Apr 10, 2013)

Haimovfids said:


> Im going to miss Rocko. Are you going to leave bird forums? I don't know about other people but your posts really cheer me up.


Trust me, I'll miss him a lot, too  But since his (hopefully) new owner is here on TC and on Talk Parrots, surely this won't be the last you'll hear of him. 

That's so sweet of you <3 I'm planning to stick around for sure. You guys are my friends, and there's no reason to turn my back on that just because the circumstances aren't right for me to keep Rocko.


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## Haimovfids (Sep 19, 2012)

Yaaaay!!


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## blueybluesky (Jul 9, 2013)

I'm really glad that everything is going good and Rocko will hopefully be going to a great home and I'm happy you are going to be sticking around to


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## billsgurl (Dec 28, 2014)

im so very sorry you have to go through this my bird is a very chittery little thing and i just adore him and i cant imagine the pain you are going through


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