# Not sure if I should get a male or a female cockatiel - read articles that confuse me



## Rashu (Aug 12, 2012)

Good morning everyone!

I've been reading some posts, and articles on various websites but I do not get for sure if a Male or a Female cockatiel would be best for me.

I've read that females are easier to tame and bond with and males are nippy and mean...and the contrary as well. Whereas some say that both genders behave the same way.

What I want is:
-an affectionate and friendly bird
-less noisy
-not hyper nor too laid back

Most websites and articles hint that a female will fit that criteria.

I am not concerned if the cockatiel would be able to talk or not. I have 4 budgies, 1 of them talks, so I'll be all right with a cockatiel who won't talk or whistle.

And regarding females...I've read they lay eggs often? I have only had experience with budgies and the females don't lay eggs, I avoid it by not placing anything that could look like a nest, in the cage. Does that work for cockatiels too?
I would assume it would be risky for a female to lay eggs?

Also I would like to get a young Cockatiel (under 3 months old should be fine?)...and I would like a grey one. Are they hard to sex?

Any input will be appreciated. 

Have a nice day.


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

Sounds like a female is definitely what you want, as they tend to be the less hyper and quieter. Egg laying really isn't that big of an issue for most birds, my hens don't lay eggs unless I want them to. There is something called the long nights treatment (12-14hours of darkness a night) that really helps to keep hormones low as well as you said not giving them anything that looks like a nest. 

As to determining gender, grey is the natural wild color of cockatiels. There are ways to determine gender such as wing spot sexing but nothing is 100% although DNA testing is pretty close. If you were to find a baby you were interested in you could post a picture here and we could try to help.


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## Rashu (Aug 12, 2012)

roxy culver said:


> Sounds like a female is definitely what you want, as they tend to be the less hyper and quieter.


Thank you. 

And are females generally easier to bond with compared to males?


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## JaimeS (Nov 28, 2011)

I wouldn't say that females are generally easier to bond with, it really depends on the bird's personality. Males tend to go through a cranky hormonal period more frequently than females do though. 

I have very sweet boys and very sweet girls. I also have a few girls who let me give them scritches but are not exceptionally loving or cuddly. I do prefer females.

Also, you should know that while females do not tend to sing or talk, they can be as noisy as boys as far as contact calling and chirping. But I don't think tiels are very noisy in general (just my opinion). 

Bottom line: personality depends on the individual bird and the time and love you put into him/her.


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## vampiric_conure (Jul 8, 2012)

I agree with JamieS - males and females can each be cuddly or cranky depending on personality. Take my flock as an example - Redshift is more standoffish as a male, but as a complete contrast I have Alpha, who demands my undivided attention. Mindwipe, Redshift's mate, is in the middle. She's a brat who loves the attention but isn't big into head scratches. She'll ask for them, sure, but gets nippy if I deliver!


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

I'm partial to females but I have some super cuddly males. And one started out as not so cuddly, hubby said he was mean because he wasn't a sweet as the others. Took me about three months and lots of patience to warm him up and now he's my shadow. So it just depends on how much attention and time you have for the bird as well.


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## Rashu (Aug 12, 2012)

Thank you.

Then I hope I'll find a female. I'll buy one in a couple of months.


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## CharmedWolf (Oct 10, 2011)

I think it just depends on the bird. I have a male and he bonded to me in a week when I got him. He's super cuddly and will demand I pet him everyday, haha


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## enigma731 (Aug 12, 2011)

I would focus on personality above gender. There's no guarantee that either gender will have the traits you want, but if you look for a bird that interacts well with you, you're much more likely to bond well.


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## Philiko (May 16, 2012)

Congratulations on the decision to get a cockatiel . I have a wonderful, 5 week old, female, grey cockatiel, she is hand reared and is extremely cuddly and love scritches. I hope you find the right bird for you.


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## Mentha (Jul 11, 2010)

I would suggest letting the bird pick you, be blind to color and gender and go with the one that pays the most attention to you at the breeder.


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## Simbah (Feb 9, 2012)

Mentha said:


> I would suggest letting the bird pick you, be blind to color and gender and go with the one that pays the most attention to you at the breeder.


 I agree, this is the best way to pick out any new addition!


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## SunnyandChickie (Jul 9, 2012)

We had 3 females and only one was cuddly. Two of them were just as loud as our male! Sunny (the male) mainly sings, sometimes flock calls and is super cuddly!


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## becca21 (Jul 4, 2012)

If a quiet bird is definately what you want, then I would say female for sure. My 3 month old Toby just started learning to whistle and sing tunes, and boy can he make a lot of noise when he wants to! But females are typically very quiet. As for tameness and temperment, like everyone says, it really depends on the bird. Just make sure you buy a young (preferrably 2-3 month old) hand-fed cockatiel.


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## Sparky04 (Oct 21, 2011)

A female sounds like what you're looking for.
I have a female (Sparky) and a male (Oz)
Sparky is much more laid back, she's quieter, and she really is a sweet bird. Sparky never bites unless you grab her to do her claws or give her medicine. For the most part, Sparky wants to be with people, but is a hands off bird. The only time she wants to be petted is if she has pin feathers. Sparky is not exactly a normal bird, but she was neglected and in pain when we adopted her. 

Oz can be a brat sometimes, he's more hyper and he always wants scritches.  He is also a lot louder than Sparky. Oz is more clingy to me than Sparky is. Oz can say a few words and phrases, but he's not always that clear. 

About egg laying, I know a lot of people have a problem, but Sparky has only laid a couple clutches in the 6 years I've had her and she hasn't laid an egg in years.

I'm not sure if my personal experience is that helpful, I got Oz as a hand raised baby and I got Sparky as a parent raised adult who didn't get much attention. 

From what I've read, I think a female would be better for you.


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