# I feel like i'm screwing everything up gah help me with my tiel please!



## ilovebirds34 (Dec 15, 2012)

Hi, i'm a 1st time bird owner. i've loved birds for a long time and i got a hand raised baby cockatiel a few days ago. the store i purchased it from, the woman took it out and gave it a pat and put it on me and it was okay. Granted she had to chase it around the cage for a moment before she grabbed it (it didnt seem too happy about being grabbed but i dont know birds that well and she seemed to make it calm quickly)

Cookie (my tiel) is assumed to be a female by the woman i bought it off, however a man in the shop also thinks its a boy, if this helps.

i'll go over my issues one at a time

1) bonding with cookie - she's still very afraid of me. she shakes sometimes when i'm too close to the cage and all. the shopkeeper said i could take her out the next morning, and my mother is adamant in saying that we must take her out against her will and touch her every day, and that shes fine when shes running all over the cage scared. so far my attempts at taking her out end badly, with her trying to get away, and then ending up under my bed and i feel awful having to grab her while shes all scared.

she bit me on the last attempt when i was carrying her back to her cage while she struggled in my hands. 

i do try to hold her as gently as possible and not constrict her breathing, she was just biting because she was terrified of me ;~;

i can hand feed cookie millet, but depending on how close i put my actual hand holding it, the more nervous she gets. so far my only meaningful positive moments are feeding her millet. she will not eat seeds out of my hand either.

just tell me what to do to make her bond to me and i'll do it~

2) sleeping

she doesn't sleep much! shes gotten progressively more tired, and now shes gotten nippy when my hand goes in or near hte cage, such as to offer her millet (which she eats anyway despite seeming aggressive). she also aggressively attacks her toy and makes angry noises. i think she's cranky because of lack of sleep, how do i promote sleep? (her cage is in my room, and i'm typically awake until pretty late and i think it keeps her up, but theres no where in the house thats quieter until like 11 pm - midnight. i put a towel over her cage at night.

3) Eating unhealthily - she eats seeds i put in, but ignores the pellets i also put in, how do i promote her to eat the pellets as well.



Thats all i can think of for now, im just so worried im a bad owner and that the bird will be unhappy, which is truly the last thing i want. i love cookie even though i've only had her for a few days.


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## JaimeS (Nov 28, 2011)

Hello. It is very common for birds that are tame to be very scared in a new home. Change is a scary thing for birds too and she has a new home, new cage, and new people. Here are a few threads to help you get started with bonding with Cookie.

http://www.talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=22073

http://www.talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=33824

As far as eating, this can take time too. If she is already eating seed that is good, sometimes they don't eat at all for the first day or two in a new home. Is she new to pellets or was she eating them at the store? If she was already eating them are they the same pellets? At this point she should be offered what she is familiar with. If she wasn't, it can take a while for her to see pellets as food. Here is a thread to help you with that.

http://www.talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=30647

Anytime you have questions you can check out the stickies library as there is a lot of great info there, or feel free to ask. I hope this helped and I would love to see a picture of your new baby!


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## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

I would try not to grab her. I think it's just going to get her more scared. She is still settling in and just needs some time to adjust. I would spend time quietly sitting by her cage and talking to her. Maybe even leave the cage door open and see if she'll come out on her own. As for sleeping, it's recommended for tiels to get 10-12 hours. Also, don't forget that your tiel should get vegetables as part of her diet too.


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## ilovebirds34 (Dec 15, 2012)

There you go JaimeS! 

on progress, i got cookie to eat a single seed out of my hand before she was too nervous to eat anymore, so i gave her some millet (positioned on my hand in a similiar fashion) as a reward.

i give her waaaay too much millet.


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## JaimeS (Nov 28, 2011)

Aww, what a cutie! It is fine if she primarily eats millet until she gets settled.


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## OldCity (Nov 27, 2012)

For what it's worth, I have a few ideas to share on this subject...

Currently, I have six of these little fluffballs sharing my house with me. They vary in age from just over 7 years to about 10 months, and everywhere in between. Except for one, they've all been fairly young when I got them and what I've come to believe is that a few days is nowhere near enough time to even begin to get on really good terms with a new birdie. Anymore, I count on about six months to a year for the new bird to really get settled in with everything. I generally plan on spending about two years teaching them how to fly safely indoors and what places are appropriate to be when out of the cage. Point is, it takes time and trying to hurry things along doesn't really work too well.

It's always great when the little guy or girl hits the ground running and any trust or friendship issues get sorted out very quickly, but don't always count on that happening - even if the bird was a complete darling in the pet store. You'll have to learn them just as much as they have to learn you.

If you want to speed up the bonding process a bit, or at least spark some curiosity in Cookie, start whistling back whatever noises she makes. When getting her out of the cage, take her into a quiet room where she can't see the cage anymore and just hang out for awhile with her. Don't try to pet her or touch her, just sit and observe. Let her teach you about birds for awhile 

To really unlock all the happiness and companionship these little birds have to offer means letting them spend at least as much time teaching you, as you spend teaching them.


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

It will take time for her to settle in to her new home. She will be friendly with you after she has learned to trust you, and this will take time. You build trust by doing things that the bird likes, and avoiding doing things that she doesn't like as much as possible. 

Don't try to force her to interact with you; this teaches her not to trust you. Do keep giving her treats; this teaches her that good things happen when you come around. Please tell your mother that knowledgeable people on a cockatiel forum gave you this information so she will hopefully stop pushing you to use force against Cookie

The food bribery sticky at http://www.talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=28661 has information on techniques for birds that are too nervous to take food from your hand. Millet spray is a good treat for hand-feeding nervous birds because you can adjust the position to a distance that makes your bird feel comfortable, and gradually change your grip to bring the bird closer to your hand. 

You can also use millet spray to tempt her into coming out of the cage on her own. Just open the cage door and put a piece of millet spray just outside the door.

There's a sticky thread on diet at http://www.talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=27479 that includes a link to an article with tips on teaching a bird to eat new foods. If you're in the US or Canada, you have easy access to Nutriberries which are nutritionally equivalent to pellets but look like seed balls. Most cockatiels LOVE them.

The sleep problem is trickier; if there isn't a quiet place where she can sleep then she obviously won't be able to sleep. It might help if you could spend a little less time in your bedroom at night. But I think it's also possible that she might be stressed out from having to spend so much time in a room with a human who keeps trying to grab her against her will. If you stop grabbing her and focus on teaching her to trust you, she might be a lot more comfortable and less inclined to be cranky. She can make up for some of the lost sleep by taking naps in the daytime.


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## ilovebirds34 (Dec 15, 2012)

I've spent the last few days bribing cookie with millet on a fairly constant basis. at this point, cookie will run from my hand, or make a biting gesture if i come too close naturally, but if i place my hand in there along with my other hand holding millet, cookie will come over and even stop on my hand after some time and curiosity to get to the millet.

the moment the millet is gone cookie is eager to get off my hand. i havent done any of the step up because cookie is too scared of my hand approaching her to allow for this, so typically i let her step on my hand, adjust the millet until she stands on one finger and remove the rest of my fingers so it does kind of the same thing. Today i used htis trick to take cookie out of her cage for the first time without a fuss, and i placed her on her play gym which is next to the cage. 

i think if i keep feeding her a bit of treats every day and using it to get her on my hand and then out of the cage a bit more, i think she'll warm up to me soon enough for me to approach her without any treats and teach the step up


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## dlovely (Dec 21, 2012)

thats how i trained sunny


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

> i think if i keep feeding her a bit of treats every day and using it to get her on my hand and then out of the cage a bit more, i think she'll warm up to me soon enough for me to approach her without any treats and teach the step up


Yes, this will probably happen. It may take some extra time for her to trust you since you were grabbing her before, but she will warm up after a while.


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

I am sort of at this point with Storm...he's mistrustful of me because his previous owner grabbed him several times the day I got him, and I had to towel him a few times shortly after. We started off on the wrong foot for sure. But with patience and food bribery, two months later he does trust me a little more. If I manage to get him out and on my arm or shoulder, I try to just let him be as much as possible. I give him lots of millet, and try not to get him into situations where I ask (or worse, force) him to step up much. Progress has been very slow, even though he has two other birds that trust me as examples. The key to taming is definitely trust gaining, which requires TONS of patience. Any time you push a bird too far out of its comfort zone, and break that trust, it's a set-back. I am learning that the hard way from Storm. But every bit of progress is rewarding.


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