# Give me hope! Please!



## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

So far I have been told by several people, all of whom own or breed cockatiels, that since I have two they'll bond and have no use for me. Also that if I let them share a cage I will always have mating behavior going on (though I have two males, Juju seems to be courting Moon). Both of my birds loved to be around people before they met each other. Judging by how many members here have more than one tiel who's friendly, I'm guessing those who told me I have no hope of having a relationship with my two are wrong. But I wouldn't mind some reassurance! Does anyone perhaps have a story to share about a bonded pair that didn't want human attention at first, but came around?

The whole reason I got a tiel was because my budgies want nothing to do with me and I wanted a bird that I could interact with. Juju was obviously unhappy by himself, though, so I figured it was best for him to have a friend...it's just going to break my heart if they never want anything to do with me.


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## MeanneyFids (Aug 24, 2010)

he will settle in time, spend time with both separately at times each day. mine are both bonded to me  it should settle down, its still new


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

I'll give you a great example...my Cinnamon was very bonded to me. She would fly to me all the time and always wanted to be with me. This never changed, even when I brought in other birds. Baby came along and fell in love with her. He followed her which usually meant he was hanging out with me too. So I ended up with two birds who wanted me. 

Your best bet is to start the hormone reduction techniques and keep working with them. Food bribery will definitely help in bringing them around.


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## tielfan (Aug 31, 2008)

A cockatiel that is already bonded to you will usually stay bonded when you add another bird. Shodu loves me more than she loves her mate (Buster), and she's had 30 babies with him and wants to have more.


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

DallyTsuka said:


> he will settle in time, spend time with both separately at times each day. mine are both bonded to me  it should settle down, its still new


Thanks.  Yep, I know it's still new...I can muster up patience if I feel like there's reason to be optimistic! How would you suggest separating them for one-on-one time? Juju gets very upset when I pick up Moon, and if I move him away from the cage he will fly over and land on my head. I live in a small-ish apartment so there's really no place I can bring one where he won't be able to hear the other.



roxy culver said:


> I'll give you a great example...my Cinnamon was very bonded to me. She would fly to me all the time and always wanted to be with me. This never changed, even when I brought in other birds. Baby came along and fell in love with her. He followed her which usually meant he was hanging out with me too. So I ended up with two birds who wanted me.
> 
> Your best bet is to start the hormone reduction techniques and keep working with them. Food bribery will definitely help in bringing them around.


Thank you! I have already started the hormone reduction attempt, by making sure their cage is covered 12 hours each night. Hopefully this will be sufficient; I work 8 hour days so anything more would mean I would pretty much never see my birds.

Food bribery is going well.





















tielfan said:


> A cockatiel that is already bonded to you will usually stay bonded when you add another bird. Shodu loves me more than she loves her mate (Buster), and she's had 30 babies with him and wants to have more.


I don't know if Juju was really bonded to me, he just latched onto me and my boyfriend almost immediately because we were the only beings around. He was asking us for scritches the second day, and would land on our heads whenever we were in the room. But as soon as he met Moon, BAM, no more bond. Part of it could be that he is hormonal at the moment (at least I am 99% sure about that). Hopefully he will remember that I am good company at some point, and will not mind sharing his buddy with me so much once his hormones are under control.

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OH!!! Right before I put them to bed tonight, I swear I heard Moon try to say. "Waddaya doin'?" and make a kissy noise. It was far from intelligible, but it also did not sound like a normal bird vocalization. If he is trying to speak human language and communicate with me, should I take that as a good sign?


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## Ghosth (Jun 25, 2012)

From my experience, Budgies tend to be much more single focus than Tiel's. 

I only had Cara a month before introducing a female Cockatiel into our lives. Yet he is still very much bonded to me, comes for shoulder time, skritch's, will often fly to my head on command, etc. Yet he also obviously shows off, sings, postures, heartwing's for Joey, etc.

In your situation the bond was just developing, waiting a month or 2 to add a second bird probably would have been the wiser choice. However at this point all you can do is do your best to muddle through. 

Yes there is hope. 

If they are both boys you might be better off to give up and put them in the same cage. I would suggest that "getting out" of cage should for a while happen only after they spend sometime with you. 

In some respects Cockatiels seem to be much like 2 year old children. If they make a new "friend" they really don't want to be separated. Trying to do so makes you the "mean parent"

Also as the "new" wears off they should be more willing to work with you.


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

Thanks for sharing, Ghosth. I think I may be making some progress, but I'm not entirely sure? haha. This morning I took both of them out (well, I took Moon out, and Juju flew over) and gave them some millet on the bed. Moon was very happy and chatty and even said some human words. A little while later I hand-fed Juju a Cheerio, and tried to give one to Moon but he shied away from my hand (he was in the cage). So I went back to my computer, and all of a sudden Juju flew to my head!!!! He hasn't done that since I brought Moon home, unless he is trying to get to Moon. Maybe he just wanted more Cheerios though, haha. Anyway, he didn't stay long but I went and got Moon and he came back over. He is now sitting on my head and Moon is on my shoulder. Juju will start yelling angrily every couple of minutes (jealously, I guess) but the next minute he is fine, chirping and preening. Juju acts like he is jealous of both me AND Moon when he is on me...it's strange. Like he still thinks of me as his property even though Moon is his mate.


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## meaggiedear (Nov 20, 2011)

echolalia said:


> So far I have been told by several people, all of whom own or breed cockatiels, that since I have two they'll bond and have no use for me.


This is just so false. I will use my own examples. When Farrah and Willow came to live with me, they already had roommates. They have never been an only bird and they share a cage with the other tiels since they have been here. So, they always had the birds to pick over me... Does this look like a bird who thinks I'm useless?





































(Scaling my leg to come visit me to get away from the other birds.)









So. Even though they have each other. That doesn't mean they won't love you and want your attention too.


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## moonchild (Jul 29, 2012)

Thanks so much for sharing those adorable photos!  I will keep working with my two and hopefully they'll come around. I have officially been given hope haha.


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