# How do I bond with my Cockatiel? I don't really know.



## Jedders (Mar 11, 2013)

Okay. Kind of a long story, so... bear with me.

I got two 'tiels on my birthday three years ago, male and female. (We didn't know that at the time, they were bought from a pet store.) It turned out my female, Yuki, Pearled, had a few problems. At the store I was told that the other birds picked on her and pulled out all her tail feathers. I, for no good reason other than feeling bad for her, took her and a beautiful Lutino. I'd had a Cockatiel before when I was younger, so I know how to take care of them and clip their wings- taught by a professional bird tamer- and whatnot. As it turned out, Yuki pulled out her own tail feathers, couldn't stand or walk like normal Cockatiels, randomly fell off perches and had difficulty getting to places normal birds could get to easily... Like swings.

Anyway, I made the bad choice to separate these two for a few weeks and then put them together before they bonded with me. By the time I had realized it, it felt like it was too late and I couldn't separate the two. I had at least got them to learn not to bite and step up on fingers before I put them together, they have never bitten me except for that first week and even now when I clip wings, I don't worry about biting or pinching, I had two very good birds. 

Sadly, Yuki, the female died this week. Apparently I had not put the cuttlefish bone in a good enough place for her to get to, with her difficulties and I lost her to egg binding. She was my first female, so I didn't know what to look for, really. Now the pair of them didn't mate, I don't think Yuki would be able to stand with Zero on top of her, but I definitely feel that my poor Zero is not happy at all with her loss and we spend much more time together and keep each others company over the loss. (I wouldn't say Yuki was my favorite at all, but I had a special thing with her for taking care of her and her... disabilities, I suppose.)

My question is this... How can I bond with Zero, now? He still steps up, he chirps and sings sometimes if he hears me singing and he's always close by. His cage is about 2 week from my computer chair in my room, so he sees a lot of me and has for the past 3 years, but I've never really felt like bonded with him. He allows me to pet his head for a couple seconds before he backs away, but his back and tail are off limits to everyone. He rides on my shoulder and unless something spooks him, he won't try to fly away. I just don't know what else I can do, really. Or if I'm doing anything wrong, because I've always taken him out like this occasionally, even when Yuki was alive.

Toby, my first Cockatiel certainly bonded with me, but I don't remember how. All I did was keep him for a couple weeks and train him not to bite and step up, suddenly after that he was eating food with me, putting his head against my cheek for a neck rub and singing to my toes. He was completely untamed before I had him and actually took a chunk out of his owners nose for getting too close to his cage, which is why they told me if I could tame him I could keep him.


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## Bird Junky (Jul 24, 2012)

Hello. This will solve your problem . 
B J's. EASY BIRD TAMING

First a few tips to make life easier for you. 
In the evening prior to your chosen taming days, provide your birds with 
only a basic seed mix diet & use any or all the other food items in very 
small portions as taming treats. Millet spray alone soon loses its appeal. 
Birds eat a wide variety of fruit, veg, nuts, hard boiled eggs etc, etc. so 
don't stick with a limited selection for their dietary needs. 

I normally train eight birds in a cage at the same time so the shyest birds 
learn from their more forward cage mates. One, two or eight birds, the 
taming method is the same, allow the shyest bird set the pace....
Don't let them out of their cage till they are all happy to perch on your 
hand to eat the treat every time it's offered. 
Any chasing & catching can ruin any bond already built-up between you. 
Many birds are fearful & hate being clasped in the hand. 
Keeping birds caged for a few days will not cause them harm in any way, 
either mentally or physically.

THE TAMING SYSTEM. 
Feed treats little & often, so your visits mean nice things to eat. 
Hold the treat on your finger tips palm up, close to the perch so he can 
eat. 
During the next few days, move the treat onto your palm, so he has to 
step-up on your fingers to reach the treat.
After a day or two of eating while perched on your hand every time it's
offered. 
Have him step-up & take him from the cage for a fly round, knowing you 
can return him with a treat in the cage & a small treat in hand for a step-up 
reward.
Allow your bird to explore his environment, but don't try to push him into 
interacting with you. 
One lesson at a time, step-up, in & out of the cage is enough for any bird to 
learn before moving on to other tricks, games etc.
If your bird wants to include you in it's exploration then ok, but take care 
not to make any sudden moves that may upset him.. 
Professional trainers & performers always give a treat to ensure friendly, 
happy compliance.
Even if it's only one peck at a millet spray or a Sunflower heart, for a 
large parrot, half a heart for a budgie size bird.....B J.


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## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

I'm sorry for your loss. I think your male is probably still going through a mourning period and will need some time. In the meantime, try to spend extra time with him. My tiel loves to "help" me with things. If I'm looking at mail, he wants to also. So I give him some pieces he can chew on. Same thing if I'm looking at cookbooks, etc. Maybe just try to engage him in some of your normal activities. Or if you're at your computer, will he sit with you?


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## Jedders (Mar 11, 2013)

BJ, He already gives me no problems coming in or out of the cage and I don't need to chase him at all the have him step up on my finger to join me. For some reason, though, he has no will to try new foods. I've tried offering eggs, bread, a piece of chip for a treat... but he doesn't want them and if I leave them in the cage, he eats his regular diet around them.

Sunnysmom, thank you. I figured he would still be mourning at the moment, and he does sit on me while at the computer for about an hour before he wants to go home.  I have tried crumbling bread on my shoulder for him to peck at but he'd rather peck at my shirt. He pulls the fabric up and lets it spring back down and continues doing that for a while until he gets bored with it and cleans himself. He doesn't like me to pet him unless he's sitting on my finger, though and will give me his annoyed sound if I try to pet him on my shoulder.


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