# How do you know....



## Woodstock'sMom (Apr 14, 2011)

How do you know if your bird actually loves you or is indifferent to you and just wants out of the cage?
Can birds even really "feel" love for that matter?

How will you know if your bird has bonded to you?


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## clawnz (May 28, 2009)

It takes time to bond. But you will know.

Yes I am sure they can feel love or very strong emotions to certain ones they bond to.
Take Zambeze the Rainbow Loirkeet I take everywhere sometimes. We have that very special bond where he trusts me completley. And he is not even my own bird.
He will chase me around to just be with me. This can be outside or inside. he is clipped.
Not by my choosing.
When they trust you enough to put a hand over their back and pick them up and cuddle, you will know you are doing right.


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## Valpo (Apr 22, 2011)

Its really not hard to figure out. There are lots of ways that tiels show that they have bonded to you.

One way is when they are in their cage if they seek out your attention, they love you.

If they occasionally make loud chirps when you leave the room. (Known as "flock calls") they love you and are wondering where you are going.

If they get excited or make a lot of noise when you come home. This is something great about Louise, whenever Melissa or I enter the door she greets us with a "Wheet!!" "Wheet!" and becomes pretty excited. In fact over time she's learned what our cars sound like and Melissa said at one point Louise knew I was home before she (Melissa) did.

And those are just things that they do when they are in their cage. 

There is various things that they will do outside of their cage too depending on their personality. Cuddling or asking for scratches. 

If they sit on you and look or act relaxed then that means they at least trust you.

*Melissa is my wife btw, I'm not sure if thats clear.


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## Woodstock'sMom (Apr 14, 2011)

I have had her going on 3 weeks now and I guess I just wonder about things every now and then.
She is not very cuddly and while she does let me rub her occasionally, it's not because she is seeking it or asking for it. I usually just rub her and she seems to tolerate it for a bit then kinda get aggressive towards my fingers (but not in a mean, angry , biting way).

When I do take her out, she likes to be on me and will preen. However, I often have to stop her from biting the keys off my laptop (she has bit off 2 keys so far, luckily I was able to snap them back on) biting my computer screen, biting on my cell phone, ..OH, and biting and trying to climb onto my eyeglasses. She is forever trying to bite and climb on my eyeglasses, which she will not hesitate to climb up my face to do so.

I wonder if she is still adjusting and getting used to me, am I doing something wrong or is there something more I could be doing, or if it will come with time, or if she is just a feisty bird?


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## Valpo (Apr 22, 2011)

Woodstock'sMom said:


> I have had her going on 3 weeks now and I guess I just wonder about things every now and then.
> She is not very cuddly and while she does let me rub her occasionally, it's not because she is seeking it or asking for it. I usually just rub her and she seems to tolerate it for a bit then kinda get aggressive towards my fingers (but not in a mean, angry , biting way).


The fact that he/she allows you to rub her says something. Also birds all have their own personality. Some can't get enough scratching, some only like it so much. Some like to cuddle up with people and put their head on them. Others not so much. 

You have to remember that the "aggression" where they open their mouth, screem and peck is not really aggression even though it looks like it. Often its just their way of saying "Thats enough" or "That is annoying" or "I don't like that". I've not yet seen a cockatiel, no matter how loving or affectionate that doesn't do that at one point or another. 



> When I do take her out, she likes to be on me and will preen.


She trusts you, if she didn't she wouldn't preen on you.



> However, I often have to stop her from biting the keys off my laptop (she has bit off 2 keys so far, luckily I was able to snap them back on) biting my computer screen, biting on my cell phone, ..OH, and biting and trying to climb onto my eyeglasses. She is forever trying to bite and climb on my eyeglasses, which she will not hesitate to climb up my face to do so.


The birds do that with me all the time especially my glasses. Many of my parent's birds like to chew on glasses. Louise oddly enough doesn't but most do. Its really them investigating these things or trying to play with them. Not any indication of lack of love or affection.



> I wonder if she is still adjusting and getting used to me, am I doing something wrong or is there something more I could be doing, or if it will come with time, or if she is just a feisty bird?


There isn't any behavior that you have mentioned that I wouldn't classify as "normal cockatiel behavior". You shouldn't worry too much. Your bird seems to be well adjusted and acting normal and he/she seems to like you.


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## Lulu The Tiel (Apr 11, 2011)

This coming Saturday Lulu will be with me one month!

If there is anything I have learned, it's all things come with time and patience. I've noticed different traits with 'tiels people have on here when I compare them to Lulu (sorry I am sick and doped up on meds so I am not sure if that sentence really makes sense). 
Lulu now eats from my hand and if she lets me take her out she does preen on me (that is new).

She will eat new veggies from me and step up on my palm but when I move my hand, she goes back on the perch. 

She does, still lunge and try to peck at me if I annoy her. She just bit my boyfriend this past Saturday and drew some blood. I explained to him that he did something she didn't like.

What I really would like to accomplish, is trying to get her to step up and come out of her cage. 

I entice her with millet and other things.. and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

When I come home.. I get a bunch of tweets and flock calls. Especially when I am in the kitchen. So, I do believe she knows who I am and is slowly learning to love me! 

It takes time. 

Your doing great.


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## Lulu The Tiel (Apr 11, 2011)

She also eats when I eat.


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## Woodstock (Feb 25, 2011)

Cockatiels make wonderful little companions. But, just as with any other domesticated animal, they have their own specie's specific behaviors that we should respect. One example of this is the open beak lunges when they've had "enough". Or, during their hormonal time, they often times act more aggressively. Because they are highly intelligent they have moods. I guess if a person wants an even tempered pet, buy fish. 

Woodstock starts vocalizing when he hears us coming up the stairs to the apartment. He "calls" us in the morning and loves to fly around the house looking for us to perch on. He loves to see what we're eating and has specific tastes. And he loves his "scritches" on his head and neck. There is a relationship between us. To me that is one definition of love.


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## Siobhan (Mar 21, 2010)

Of course birds can love you! If yours wants to hang out with you, greets you when you come home, flies to you or wants you to pick him up, wants to eat with you, responds to you when you talk to him and, with tiels (boys, anyway) slicks down his topknot and sings or whistles or just leans forward and stares at you, it means you're family and he loves you. I only have boys, so I don't know what the females do that's equivalent to the slicked-down topknot and whistle. I have Quakers, budgies and a pigeon, too, and the behaviors are similar. My pigeon follows me around and is never happier than when she's sitting on my lap being petted. One Quaker will hardly let me alone and wants to be with me constantly, and both tiels come and find me and just climb around on me as if I were a birdy jungle gym. LOL They wouldn't do that if they didn't love me.


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## Belinda (Oct 9, 2010)

Erin cuddles up to my face, or behind my ear and makes little squeaking sounds when I'm scritching her... she will actively leap off the cage if she's been waiting for me and try to fly to me knowing full well her wings aren't grown in yet (she flies backwards!) and tries to preen my face. She tries anything I give her, listens to me and seeks out my praise. I think she loves me! Arnie is a little indifferent to me but has bonded strongly to my boyfriend - he's the only one she'll let kiss her on the head and cuddle her (sometimes I sneak in some cuddles and kisses but only when he's not around). Both tiels get jealous when the other tiel is getting too much attention. Maybe it's love or just selfishness, either way we love our cuddly girls!


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## Sar (Sep 22, 2010)

Billy came to us at about 4 years old and for a long time I felt like the OP - he tolerated us because we gave him food and out of cage time. He will never be cuddly, but I have spent the last hour stuck with him asleep on one foot in the crook of my arm! When we go on holiday he always seems fine at the in-laws but once he comes home he is really clingy for a couple of days. He is genuinely fond of us  and misses US not just our routines.Some tiels are more affectionate than others but they make their fondness for their human flock mates clear.


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## Belinda (Oct 9, 2010)

Sar said:


> He will never be cuddly, but I have spent the last hour stuck with him asleep on one foot in the crook of my arm!


Arnella does this too, it's the most inconvenient place to perch on me! lol


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## Flick (Apr 19, 2011)

I really want my cockatiels to love me but to be quite frank and honest, they are terrified by me. 
They tremble when I walk into the same room with them. They flap around nervously in their cage when I clean their cage and change food/water out. Even after spending so much time sitting near their cage, they are still very fearful. It is a very disheartening experience.


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## Valpo (Apr 22, 2011)

Flick said:


> I really want my cockatiels to love me but to be quite frank and honest, they are terrified by me.
> They tremble when I walk into the same room with them. They flap around nervously in their cage when I clean their cage and change food/water out. Even after spending so much time sitting near their cage, they are still very fearful. It is a very disheartening experience.


Weird. . . thats abnormal. 

Even when we've had tiels that where not at all tame they wheren't really afraid of us if we where just sitting near the cage. 

Is there another reason perhaps? Do you wear a lot of bright colors maybe?


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

Try sitting with your hand in the cage completely still for 15 minutes at a time. They need to get used to your hands being around them and obviously they aren't.


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## Flick (Apr 19, 2011)

_*Is there another reason perhaps? Do you wear a lot of bright colors maybe?*_

I don't know what really happened to them in the past, I don't know how they were handled or if there is a reason they fear people so much.

I do have a few bright coloured clothes but I have been doing this for a couple of weeks now and while I have worn bright clothes a handful of times my usual attire is jeans and a dark shirt. 

_*Try sitting with your hand in the cage completely still for 15 minutes at a time. They need to get used to your hands being around them and obviously they aren't.*_

That is good advice but my birds are *very* fearful of people and need to move at snail-speed. I have attempted that technique a few times and it resulted in Butternut breaking feathers and she will stop eating for hours, nearly all day. I moved very slowly while putting my hand in then kept my hand like a statue on the bottom of the cage but it was still too much for her. Fossil handled it better, not great, but Butternut going so nutty caused Fossil a lot of stress as well. So, I just sit near the cage as still as possible and while Butternut is still stressed from this, she hasn't broken any feathers from it yet and she still eats. 
Honestly, I think if I kept forcing her to put up with my hand in the cage that she would become sick from stress and not eating. 
Like I said, it's a very disheartening experience. I know my cockatiels are just scared of people but it feels like they hate me despite my best efforts.


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