# Do cockatiels hold a grudge?



## onyx (Oct 1, 2014)

Spooky has been more aggressive than usual the past month or so. I blamed it on hormones, covered him for more hours at night, and he calmed down a little (no more attacking my face). But now he's acting up a lot. Flying away getting very nasty when I ask him to step up if he realizes he's going back in his cage. He's nippy when we're cuddling to the point that I often "earthquake" my torso/shoulders so I get him off before he has a chance to really bite me. 

About two weeks ago I went through a med change that involved withdrawal from my old medication. It gave me monster migraines and headaches for 10 days straight. My boyfriend was at work most of the day so I had to care for Spooky myself even though I was pretty much bed-ridden. Unfortunately it meant he got a lot less one-on-one time with me, and was by himself most of the day while I was in bed trying not to move. He'd start screaming some days for attention (oh, my head... needless to say my patience was REALLY brittle). The first day he was so upset at the lack of attention he took a huge chunk out of my arm. And he continued to be mean and aggressive the entire time I was ill, even when I was trying so hard to fight through the pain and give him play time with me. Lunging, hissing, flying away over and over ever time I try to get him to step up... one night he hissed at me when I put him to bed. 

Before he's just sit with me and be sweet. If he got into something and I said "No", he'd stop and come perch on my arm. I've been trying the Gentle Beak method to train him away from biting but he's still too mad to really let me train him at all. Just tries to bite me if I go near his beak, even when he's being calm.

He's less than a year old, hatched sometimes in July of last year.

Problem is, with it being spring PLUS the lack of normal interaction he's gotten for the past week and a half, I don't know if his behavior is hormones... a grudge against me... or an attitude he's developed now that his flight feathers have grown in and he can go where he wants (i.e. AVOID ME). 

What do you guys think? Is this a hurt ego on his part; will it pass or will I have to start from scratch building up trust? Is it an attitude problem stemming from his flighted status? He's normally kind of a bossy rascal bird to begin with, but this is out of control. Should I clip again? How long should I wait to see if he straightens out on his own before making that decision? 

Sorry for the long post, I'm just so frustrated and upset about how much our relationship has changed. I feel like a failure, and I feel neglected myself because I'm trying so hard to be good to him even when I'm so sick I can barely stand, and it's like he's throwing it back in my face. -___- Just feeling really hopeless, like I'm not cut out to be a bird mom, and it's killing me.


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## onyx (Oct 1, 2014)

Wow, thanks for all the help.


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## Gizmo79 (Dec 10, 2012)

Spike is going through a similar phase with me on the agression and he is the same age as your tiel.. I dunno what to suggest but i hope you can get it sorted soon


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## CaliTiels (Oct 18, 2012)

Just be patient. Not everybody is on when you are. 

But I do understand. I had a migraine once and I am absolutely petrified of them. It was horrific and is still my #1 fear.

I wouldn't feel bad. He is just sort of frustrated and yes, cockatiels can hold a grudge, but once you start feeling better, attempt to reestablish your routine with him. Sometimes when birds get their flights in after being clipped they will act a little rebellious because of their new freedom. Most of the time it is all temporary and once they get used to their gift they settle down. Take some aspirin and feel better :flowers:


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## dianne (Nov 27, 2013)

I am so sorry you are going through this with Spooky. It sounds like it's very difficult.

I don't think it would be wrong for you to have him clipped again.


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## tielbob (Mar 25, 2013)

Cockatiels are sensitive to changes in routine and your lack of the same level of attention he was used to in the past couldn't be helped - just give him time to regain trust as you feel better. It shows that he liked how you were giving him attention and didn't like it when you backed off (because you didn't feel well.) It will be ok.


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## tasheanne (Dec 31, 2014)

He'll come around


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## onyx (Oct 1, 2014)

Thank you. He's been a little better but still biting a lot and flying around to avoid stepping up. I think I need to have him clipped to curb his attitude.

It just makes me frustrated. I have a chronic illness and got Spooky as a therapy pet, hoping the routine of caring for him plus the gentle, cuddly nature cockatiels are known for would be perfect for me. Instead he's been a nonstop source of stress. I have dark thoughts sometimes wishing I'd never gotten him, and just stuck to cats...


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## lou0312 (Feb 20, 2015)

I'm no expert on cockatiels but I have read about them moulting.....From the age you gave he may be in his 1st moult and I read that can be a frustrating time for them and they become a bit cranky. 

http://www.cockatielcottage.net/molting.html

This site will give more information, I hope this helps and you are happy you had him


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## onyx (Oct 1, 2014)

He had his first molt a few months ago.  But thank you!


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