# Bonding/trust Issues



## SarahBear82 (Oct 28, 2017)

Well it looks like I will have to keep Peanut in his cage until I can get his wings clipped. He just refuses to step up, and would rather fly from me, which causes him to fly into walls and objects as he's panicking and not experienced at flying well yet.. I would have no issue with him being out of his cage all day, if:

1. He knew how to get back into his cage on his own, but his new cage I think turned him upside down a bit, and;

2. He was tame and would step up when asked. 

With him full flight, and being untame like he is, I am finding it very hard to bond and work with him. I just had to towel him to get him into his cage just now, because I have to go run some errands, and can't leave him out unsupervised. He refused to step up. I also tried brining him with millet, and have him follow it into his cage, but he would just look at it, see it in his cage, and then ignore it. 

He would come to me if I had millet usually, and I tried to coax him onto my finger with it, which has worked previously, but today he apparently had other ideas in mind. 

Will he get over the toweling??? I have not interacted with him once I got him back into his cage, but I stayed sitting in the same room watching TV, and whistling to him here and there when he whistled. Is it best to leave him be for a bit?? He's calmed down enough to sleep though. 

Thanks all. Seems things are going a bit rough with Peanut, but I hope things will improve over time.


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## Janalee (Jul 25, 2012)

*bonding, trust*

Yes, he'll get over the towelling. I do that to Bennie sometimes to trim his nails. He gets mad at me for a while and sulks, but then he forgives me. He also sulks when I bring him home from a vet visit. 
I think it would be helpful to clip his wings. Try to find someone who will do a good job and not just chop them. My vet carefully separates each primary feather before she cuts it, then snips it near the base so the ends of the feather shaft don't poke the bird. I haven't had Bennie's wings clipped for a couple of years now. I like to let him fly around the room. I just try to be extremely careful about doors, windows, hazards... The feathers will grow in with the next molt. By then Peanut should be more bonded with you.
Good luck!


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## SarahBear82 (Oct 28, 2017)

Janalee said:


> Yes, he'll get over the towelling. I do that to Bennie sometimes to trim his nails. He gets mad at me for a while and sulks, but then he forgives me. He also sulks when I bring him home from a vet visit.
> I think it would be helpful to clip his wings. Try to find someone who will do a good job and not just chop them. My vet carefully separates each primary feather before she cuts it, then snips it near the base so the ends of the feather shaft don't poke the bird. I haven't had Bennie's wings clipped for a couple of years now. I like to let him fly around the room. I just try to be extremely careful about doors, windows, hazards... The feathers will grow in with the next molt. By then Peanut should be more bonded with you.
> Good luck!


Thank you. We got them clipped, so hopefully we can now focus more on training and bonding, without him flying away all the time. Once he's bonded, I plan to let them grow out so he can fly.. 

I'm glad he will get over the toweling. Do you use certain clippers to clip nails???

When will be his next molt?? He is 2 months old today!!


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## Kzall (Jul 30, 2017)

Putting the millet in front of your hand and saying step up when he steps on you to get to it works great.
It will take time, he will probably be a bit begruntled about being towled but soon you likely will not have too, the training takes time and patience but doing the step up training everyday will help and you will get their soon - dont worry 
They are really clever so keep the training to short bursts little and often,as they will get bored and stop listening otherwise. 
I found doing a little training then letting them do their own thing and play then a little training again worked well. 
You can do this training inside the cage also and once he gets more confident with step up, can start training outside the cage. 

Happy Birdday Peanut!


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## SarahBear82 (Oct 28, 2017)

Kzall said:


> Putting the millet in front of your hand and saying step up when he steps on you to get to it works great.
> It will take time, he will probably be a bit begruntled about being towled but soon you likely will not have too, the training takes time and patience but doing the step up training everyday will help and you will get their soon - dont worry
> They are really clever so keep the training to short bursts little and often,as they will get bored and stop listening otherwise.
> I found doing a little training then letting them do their own thing and play then a little training again worked well.
> ...


Thank you for the advice. Because of the toweling episode, he now wants nothing to do with my fingers. He will still take millet from my hand, still screeches while eating it, but once I put my finger out near the twig of millet to try the step up, he backs away and won't come near. So it seems we've taken a few steps back. 

I hope he will forgive me for that. I know it will likely take time, like you mentioned.. 

Our family had a cockatiel a while back. He was already used to hands, so really there was very little training that we needed to do. It really took him all of 3 days to get used to us, and he was on our shoulders, and nibbling my jewelry, and hair. He unfortunately flew out our door in a split second, and we never saw him again..

I always look for him, on Facebook on their web page for lost parrots in the US, and for my state, and other websites. In hope that maybe someone found him and he survived all this time. But no luck. He looks exactly like Peanut, but was darker colored, and knew a few whistles we taught him. 
I guess I'm having a hard time with Peanut because the one and only cockatiel we have had barely needed any training, flew wonderfully, was a sweetheart, and always stepped up whenever I asked. 

So now I'm actually having to hand tame this one, so I'm a bit lost. It really feels like I've never owned a cockatiel lol 
I really appreciate the help everyone. It means a lot. I miss our James everyday. 

This was our James when we first got him, ironically from the same place we got Peanut..


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

Toweling tends to set training back a few steps. Generally not recommended unless absolutely necessary and you bird is fully trained to trust you, as it can break trust in an untame bird. I would work solely with him in the cage right now. I know the desire to let him out is huge, but it's best to get him used to you and your hands before letting him out to fly around. It can take months to tame a bird, just remember to go at the bird's pace and don't push beyond what he's willing to do.


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## Kzall (Jul 30, 2017)

Sorry to hear about James








Roxy has given you great advice.
It takes time and patience, you and Peanut will get there together dont worry


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## SarahBear82 (Oct 28, 2017)

roxy culver said:


> Toweling tends to set training back a few steps. Generally not recommended unless absolutely necessary and you bird is fully trained to trust you, as it can break trust in an untame bird. I would work solely with him in the cage right now. I know the desire to let him out is huge, but it's best to get him used to you and your hands before letting him out to fly around. It can take months to tame a bird, just remember to go at the bird's pace and don't push beyond what he's willing to do.


Thank you Roxy. I was wondering if leaving him in the cage is best. With his bigger cage now, I don't feel as bad leaving him in there while we work on regaining any trust I had. He had a rather small cage before, so I felt bad leaving him in there, which is one reason why I wanted to let him out. 
I guess I'm lucky though, in that he has never tried to bite, and has never hissed at me. ?


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## SarahBear82 (Oct 28, 2017)

Kzall said:


> Sorry to hear about James
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thank you. He was an awesome bird, even if he hated me in the end due to hormones lol he really did do a 180, and went from loving me and hating my hubby, to hating me and loving my hubby lol
Well patience is one thing I have a lot of. ? also, how will I know it's time he can come out of the cage???


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## roxy culver (May 27, 2010)

Once he steps up consistently, without backing away or running from you, you can take him out.


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