# Trust Advice? I think he likes me..?



## imouto (Feb 24, 2014)

Hello everyone~! This is my first post on TalkCockatiels and I hope you all don't mind that it's me asking for advice.  

I have a very beautiful little cinnamon cockatiel. I got him at 11 weeks and it has been about 2 months since he's come home with me. The first month I spent a lot of my time talking to him and sitting near his cage just to get him used to my presence. At first, I was very eager to get him to step up so I would try to put my hand near him inside of the cage which after many failed attempts (even with millet) decided that perhaps he felt his personal space was being invaded and invested in a perch for the outside of his cage. This way, he could come out as he wished, and if I got too near for his liking, he could go back inside. I must say he's got a lovely personality from what I have observed from afar. He sings, talks, plays with his toys, and loves to explore. Not once (except the very first day at the store when they went to clip his wings) has he screamed/screeched as some owners say cockatiels may do for various reasons. I just adore him. 

The only issue is.. I can't get him to let me touch him. No stepping up, no scritches, it's difficult to even transfer him to his travel cage! But I know from extensive reading that all of the comes only with building a bond and earning his trust. By now, I do think he has a slight attachment to me. The moment I leave the room he begins calling and won't stop until I return. It's not a scream, just a very loud sound that can be heard across the house. I assume this is his "flock call" as I've read. He even gets upset if I turn my back to him to tend to my other bird (a pacific parrotlet!). 

Right now he will eat from my hand. He approaches cautiously, but once he's gotten a nibble, he doesn't mind continuing so long as I stay absolutely still. 
However, he will hiss at me and strike for a bite if I just try to go for the touch. So I avoid it because I see that as him being afraid, not aggressive, and I don't want him to be more afraid of me than he is by default. 

I want to get to that point where my cockatiel will at least step up so that I can let him explore other areas of my house and I can help him back up to his cage if and when he decides to take a dive for the floor. I'm sure any cuddles or playing will follow considering he truly is a sweet bird. 
What do you think I should do?

The store that I got him from (Bird specialty store, all employees are bird owners with families including finches to macaws) suggests that I bring him in for his first grooming to trim down the nails and beak (if necessary) and see if that will alter his demeanor a little bit. Says that it's calming to some birds. So I'll be doing that this weekend. 

I'm willing to be patient, I just want to take steps in the right direction. He's so precious and I love him to pieces <3 Your advice is greatly appreciated.


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## Donica (Apr 3, 2014)

*Taming*

I am also trying to tame a couple of cockatiels, but they are older. But I wanted to comment on what the bird store said about trimming the bird's nails and beak (if needed) being calming for some birds. I realize that your post is kind of old, so you probably have already had your bird groomed. I was just amazed that someone, especially a professional bird place, would tell you that it could be calming. How could it possibly be calming for a bird who does not like human touch, to be grabbed, restrained, and trimmed? It would more likely be traumatizing.
I hope all went well when you brought your 'tiel to get trimmed. And I hope by now you have made some real progress with him.


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## Donica (Apr 3, 2014)

*Oops*

Sorry, I saw your joining date, and I thought that was when you posted.
Well, good luck with getting your bird's nails trimmed. I just wouldn't put any faith in what the bird place said about it possibly being calming to the bird. Not when your bird is not used to handling, yet.

It sounds like you are doing okay with taming so far. If he will eat from your hand, it sounds like a good start. But I can't say much about taming, because I am in the same boat.


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## sunnysmom (Sep 23, 2011)

A healthy tiel's beak doesn't need to be trimmed. And Donica is right, nail trimming isn't calming for them. I think it sounds like you're doing well with your tiel. It just takes time and patience. Try to work at his pace and not rush him.


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## dianne (Nov 27, 2013)

I think you have a good attitude and are doing the right thing.

You're not alone in having a tiel that's slow to tame or allow touching. Mine is the same way. I have had Emma for five months. She's not afraid of me any more, and will come to my arm for sunflower seed treats. But, she doesn't, under any circumstances, want me to touch her! 

On the other hand, my younger tiel is very hand tame. He's been with me about two months. He will get on my finger readily. However, he doesn't really enjoy being touched either. But, I am able to work on it with him. Right now, we're playing a game where, if he lets me touch his beak, he gets a sunflower seed.


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## imouto (Feb 24, 2014)

Hmm I probably either heard him wrong or just worded it poorly. I don't think it was the process of grooming that he meant, just the result. Like it calms down any aggression? Either way he said it'd be good to get it done  I trust them I probably just misconstrued the information. 

I actually have once grabbed my tiel in a desperation to keep him from running under the bed and possibly being stuck down there. He did bite me but it was more of a pinch than a true bite or blood-drawing munch. One of his tail feathers came loose from him struggling though so I don't want to do it again  Really my main reason for wanting to get him hand tamed. 

I'll be sure to continue patiently and lovingly with him. I do not yell or use aggressive gestures. Should I try laying my hand in his cage for an extended time? I have heard that can work but I don't have experience with it really. Also, would a training routine help? At the moment I kind of just go with the flow of his actions. 

Thanks so much for the replies and good luck with your new tiels Dianne, Donica. <3 I loooove how Silver's wings look almost snow dusted!


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## Tisena (Sep 28, 2013)

I haven't had much experience with hard to tame cockatiels, Sam and Blizz are pretty much big softies. The only hard to tame bird I have is my great aunts budgie, but that's because she wasn't handled or out of her cage for at least seven years..and to be honest, her bites are even softer than Blizz's "look at me, I want the attention! now!" pecks.

Just keep up what you're doing, and millet bribery is nice...don't go over the top with the millet though just pull off a little bit and pop it in his food bowl until he feels more comfortable with your hand, then try holding it out to him


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## dianne (Nov 27, 2013)

I am wondering whether the groomer meant trimming his wings? Clipping wings is controversial. You will see lots of different opinions. However, some have found it makes the bird more calm and easier to handle and to tame (not during the clipping, but as a result).

My Emma has never been clipped. She is allowed out of cage time, but has been uncooperative about going back. A couple of times I caught her in a towel (I got badly bitten in the process). I found it set taming back considerably. So, I would suggest trying your best not to grab. Sorry, but that's my experience.

What I do now is stick to a schedule, take the food away for two hours, and then the birds will go back when I put the food back in the cage.


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## tweetsandsarah (Mar 27, 2014)

I think you have a sweet little bird there. He sounds like a treat! Just don't give up, because all birds are different and do things in their own time. It sounds like you've gotten some good advice already, so I will just wish you the best of luck on the road ahead. Keep us posted!


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## Adam EW (Apr 4, 2014)

Hey, i have had my tiel for a little over 2 weeks now. she was tame but when i got her home i found that she is very scared of me and her new surrounds.
She doesn't let me touch her, runs away from my fingers and bites (but not hard)

in these two weeks i have seen a lot of progress, and i give a lot of credit to Millet. its like she is addicted to it.
now once she sees a piece in my hand, my hand becomes her best friend, she will step up gladly, climb on my palm
what surprised as well is that she will come to me now if im holding a millet and once the piece is dry, she goes back to running away and biting if i touch her. 
So i suggest trying millet it should at least help with the trust that you are not going to hurt her.

oh but how i wish they will just trust us in a week and become cuddly and friendly.


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## dianne (Nov 27, 2013)

You mentioned a parrotlet and "2 others." What kind of birds and how many do you have all together? Would love to see pictures! You may want to make a signature with your birds on it so we all know which ones you are talking about.

http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?p=555777#post555777

No one here is going to judge you for asking questions! That's the purpose of the forum .

It's great that you are so considerate of your housemates. I have, in the past, lived in close proximity with others who were not considerate, so good for you!

I got a non hand raised cockatiel in November and a hand raised tiel in March. The hand raised tiel is much more manageable.

Getting another bird could go either way. It could help your bird settle down. On the other hand, there could be twice as much noise. Females are usually ore quiet than males. Let's see what some of the more experienced members say on this.


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## ScarredEclipse (Apr 1, 2014)

Oh, my goodness. Females are _so_ much quieter than the boys! Sunny and Skittles never shut up when they're out of their cage. They don't screech or make obnoxious noises for the most part, 99% of what they do is singing to each other (and Freckles), and chirping as they play around their cage. Freckles makes noises when I pet her and kiss on top of her head, but she's not really loud. When she's moody she'll nip my lip when I kiss her chest, but I blow gently on her beak and softly tell her no, and she stops right away. But yes, as usual, females are the quieter bunch with these guys.


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